Look what Paulina Gretzky started in late October when she declared, “I’M BAAAAACK” on Instagram. Now we have Salma Hayak pretty much declaring she’s BAAAAACK with a flurry of new bikini shots, and even Kate Upton’s getting in on the trend.
Upton, now all of 28, made the declaration this week, saying she’s back, which is an odd statement to make since she was actually posting content for all of 2020. Let’s go to her statement and then make some observations.
“Happy New Year! During 2020 I took a break from social media to focus on health, family and reduced screen time (hello social dilemma!) We made the most of our time at home as a family by spending true, quality time together… we took a few safe, socially distanced trips and also I was able to refocus on passions like horseback riding!” Upton wrote on Instagram.
“I’m excited to jump back in recharged and ready to share some exciting projects in the works and some of the things that we’ve been up to. Of course, we are still taking the gravity of COVID extremely seriously during these recent spikes and scares…. but basically I’m saying, here I am back on Instagram! Hello 2021!”
It doesn’t take an Instagram rocket scientist to go through Kateviews’ 2020 content and realize she was around the entire year, including the Dark Ages when Instagram models had to stand up for social justice by posting black boxes.
Since I’m paid to do stuff like this, I spent time counting her 2020 uploads, and it’s somewhere around 70 for the year. SEVENTY!
So what does “I am back on Instagram” even mean here, Kateviews? You weren’t gone. Are you trying to steal Paulina’s BAAAAACK valor? Because that’s what it looks like. Or does this mean you’re planning to get back to your Sports Illustrated roots with the pre-Verlander content instead of the mom & SJW stages you went through in 2021? You can’t throw out BAAAAACK statements and then half-ass the content.
Now we sit back and see if Kateviews wants to regain some of her early career thunder or if she’s just blowing smoke. We’re waiting.