Kanye West Has Admitted He’s Never Read A Book

Hopefully, you’re reading this while sitting down, lest this revelation shock you to the point of fainting, but Kanye West has admitted to having never read a book.

Let that sink in.

It shouldn’t take too long because it makes total sense, especially when you read his explanation.

The self-proclaimed creative genius was on the “Alo Mind Full” podcast when he dropped the news.

“When you said I hadn’t read this book, I actually haven’t read any book.” West said. “Reading is like eating Brussels sprouts for me. And talking is like getting the Giorgio Baldi corn ravioli.”

Uh… alright then. Kanye hates books and hangers.

His story checks out because his “Reading is like eating Brussels sprouts” analogy, is exactly the kind of thing someone who has never read a book would say.

Speak Sense to Us Kanye

He’s got to be exaggerating because how do you avoid ever reading a book, even by accident? It’s not hard. You can get through a book by taking it to a waiting room or keeping it next to the toilet.

But then again, Kanye West is such a bizarre fella with an ego large enough to block out the sun. He probably thinks that he already has every piece of useful information.

I mean, check him out spitting proverbs in that same interview like an over-priced sneaker peddling Confuscious.

“There’s two people: the man who thinks they can and the man who thinks they can’t. And they’re both right,” he said, which was apparently a reference to a book he never read. “That’s what you were saying, but that was like a simplified version.”

Wow. That’s deep.

It sounds like the sort of thing an “enlightened” college freshman would tell a chick he was trying to impress. All, while lounging under a tree on the campus quad just moments before breaking out an acoustic guitar and treating everyone within earshot to a pitchy rendition of “Wonderwall.”

Kanye went on to give his perspective on writing lyrics. Again, this is coming from a man who proudly admits to having never cracked a book, and it reads as such.”

“Now we talk about language, what I did realize is, sometimes, it’s not that I’m not right — wait for it, watch I’ve got a good one, here we go — sometimes I’m just not right now,” he pontificated. “It’s not that you’re not right. It’s just not right now. … And I have to, like, be here ’cause that’s not a good thing, to be too ahead. ‘Cause what do you do then? You lose the audience.”

…what?

Alright, that’s definitely coming from a dude who doesn’t read.

Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle

Written by Matt Reigle

Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.

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