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Julia Rose Is A Free Agent After Jake Paul Split, Stone Cold’s Shocking Announcement & Russ Overshadows Aaron

Guys, are we locked in on March Madness?

There I was last night on the man cave/wife video game cave couch inhaling conference championship games when I realized Wright State was facing Northern Kentucky in the Horizon League title game.

Being a Dayton guy (in case I’ve never mentioned that), my brain instantly locked in on that game. Suddenly, I felt the juices flowing. I’m officially locked in on March Madness like a Ukrainian pilot in a Soviet era MiG-21 locking in on a 40-mile Russian supply convoy that’s been sitting on some random Ukrainian two-lane county road for the last several days.

I’m talking completely locked in. I’m talking feet kicked up, electric fireplace raging, dog on my lap looking for attention locked in.

Wright State gets down 16 and it doesn’t look good, but in true Dayton fighting spirit, the Raiders come storming back and a jumper with 10-seconds on the clock seals the Big Dance trip.

Now, ARE YOU GUYS LOCKED IN on March Madness?

I want to do a Screencaps March Madness bracket challenge with some prizes, but I’m not going to do it unless the community is in.

Let me know.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

On ‘Spring Is Here’

• Rising Screencaps superstar Jeremy M. is back with a quick essay on spring and what it means to us normals in the world:

The Reason for the Season

In the Southeast, the Farmer’s Almanac, Punxsutawney Phil, or Yanet Garcia need not tell us Spring is here (although Ms. Garcia could read a teleprompter transcript of ‘The View’ and I’d watch).  While Vegas is finally fully operational with Trojans and Valtrex flying off the shelf, my wife is spraying Flonase like an Ole Miss receiver after a touchdown in the Egg Bowl. 

The rain turns your driveway into a river of pollen, and bees the size of a repository of fentanyl in a lady smuggler’s nether regions buzz by as you’re trying to see if your orange tree has leaf buds after a winter where there were a few days of freezing temperatures.

We flock to Screencaps in the morning for a number of reasons. 

Folks from North Dakota down to Texas, from the People’s Republic of California to Augusta GA, and everywhere in between click on a link around 10 am eastern to read stories of patio beers, New Balance shoes, pavers, and plywood.  We pursue potential playmates, most of whom would have us cursing under our breath when they take two dozen selfies at the beach. 

Instead of installing an electrified fence to deter the 12-year-olds who throw a football into your doublewide’s modest yard, or firing up the Facebook neighborhood group to lament the HOA’s pool opening ceremony complete with a food truck and subwoofers, we sip on our Folgers with or without Bailey’s and enjoy the beauty this world has to offer us. 

Sometimes it’s that shot of a selfie on the beach that you lamented hours ago and are gawking at now or a stranger’s story about putting up a back patio complete with pergola over a saguaro sunset in the Valley of the Sun.

The lawn here in South Carolina and across the country has turned colors that remind us of the Touch of Gray commercials we’d see during Sunday Night Baseball with Joe Morgan and Jon Miller.  The lawn is on shower number three of comb-in green after the good-looking middle-aged guy had a head of dormant grass.  Frogs are hopping, lizards are scampering, wives are searching Amazon for Cutter, Banana Boat and Puddle Jumpers. 

Husbands are researching the advantages of rubber mulch, adult softball leagues, and growing zones.

There isn’t much we control in this world, no matter the consternation.  We try, get frustrated, suck down 12 Bass Fishing-themed Busch Lights to take our mind off it.  We watch random college basketball teams in their conference quarterfinals, fire up that gifted Nintendo Classic to play Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out for the umpteenth only to throw the controller after not figuring out how to beat the second Bald Bull.

Feels like we have nothing we can control.  Which is why we have a garage fridge, tube socks, a great playlist, and headphones that fit just right.  We control the height setting on our mower if we mulch or bag the clippings. We can use an edger or the string trimmer on the driveway depending on our mood. Perhaps we’ll add fertilizer, topsoil, weed n’ feed, who knows!?  We control if we use brown or black mulch and maybe even weed barriers.  

After a fall and winter where a bunch of crap left us frustrated with both incongruence and hypocrisy, the Spring is upon us.  This is the time of the year when we shape our little slice of heaven.  Whether you have a raised garden in the city or acres in the country, this is when Mother Nature both provides her beauty and her wrath.

So while the rest of the internet and television spend millions to remind you of how ugly the world can be, the Spring is upon us, and we are here to remind you of how beautiful the world is.

####

Do we have any staff artists who can paint/sketch a picture based off Jeremy’s essay? I feel like incorporating bass-themed Busch Light cans, Mike Tyson ‘Punchout’ Touch of Gray, Instagram models and wives searching Amazon for Banana Boat deals is the type of art that would end up finding a residency at MoMA.

Once again, stellar work from Jeremy and he sent that over at 11:40 p.m. ET. Someone does his best work after the family goes to bed.

On turf installation so Triple-A baseball can start in April

• Beau in Toledo was out and about Tuesday and just happened to be downtown as the Toledo Mud Hens installed its new playing surface. Beau writes:

Hey Joe!  Other than the pillows and lack of beer, I hope You had a great time in Charlotte!

Even though the slow-mo-pretty boy version of hockey isn’t my thing (leFraud James is the only one applauding the flopping that turned me off years ago), it would have been a damn good time to be part of that crowd in that town. 

And yes, I stood and took my hat off while watching the video of the crowd singing the National Anthem.  Added bonus is being under 30 miles away from Kannapolis… You **DID** go there, right?!? RIGHT?!?!?

So with Spring Training (oil changes, blade sharpening, battery charging, etc.) for the 2022 #TNML Season underway (does our region call it “The Snowball League” ?), I thought I’d toss in some pics I took Tuesday while in downtown Toodle-ee-do. 

The re-sodding of 5/3rd Field is well underway, Friday night snow be damned.  I’m thinking that Crew needs their own Joe Kinsey written article, just for #TNML Members.  Off to search for mower parts! 

####

  1. I wouldn’t say I’m now a soccer guy, but I will say that I like to chase experiences and Charlotte FC’s opening night was an important one on the resume. If I’m going to make my MLS fan debut, I want it to mean something. This trip will be worth bringing back to the audience down the road.
  2. No, I didn’t get to Kannapolis. I went from the airport to downtown, to the bars, slept, bars, stadium tour, lunch, bars, tailgate scene, VIP party, match, hotel bar, back to the airport.
  3. Mower blade is brand new. Now I need to do an oil change and it’s also time for new mower tires. We’re down to slicks and I’d like to have more traction in 2022.

On having a real Mexican taco addiction

• Mike T. and Cindy T. have eaten approximately 650 tacos during their Mexican winter vacation. Mike knows his time is limited before returning to Idaho, so that means getting in those final trips to his local taco honey hole:

Couldn’t help ourselves, last few days,back again. Mazatlans greatest hits. Super Tacos La Carreta possibly the best tacos we eaten across Mexico!

####

Mike T. and Cindy T. crushing these tacos is like me crushing Busch Lights and sitting on the patio on an 80-degree day while listening to Yacht Rock roll through the same hits that Pandora station has been playing on loop for the last 8-10 years.

We like what we like.

On California gas prices and Jackson Mahomes moving to town

• Chas G. in Toluca Lake, Ca writes:

Out here in Southern California, home to the Super Bowl Champions – Los Angeles Rams! (which as evident by that sparse victory parade crowd turn out and the local sports media – the Rams win was big-time yesterday news days after the game and now it’s just crickets!)

We are seeing gas prices for 87 octane running over $5 with Costco offering the lowest as of today at $5.05 (I know as I paid that). In general 87 running on average $5.59 with premium $5.99 and this is just for the San Fernando Valley (just north of the City of LA).

Prices in LA are running $5.89 and higher aka over $6 for 87. Beverly Hills the prices are over $7.00.

Cars are what move people out here, not mass transit, this is a car culture city and we love are cars and the ability of the freedom they offer to get in them and go where we please, when we please. We have been dealing with higher prices for the last 20 years and we will manage even at these levels. We will plan out trips, avoid the gas buster aka traffic, especially on the freeways, but, still go about our lives as we always have.

Not high gas prices, COVID, liberal Democratic dictatorship will stop us from driving our cars. But, the last thing we really need is for Jackson Mahomes to move out here as he claims per your site from yesterday.

Have we not suffered enough from man-made and natural disasters? More than I want to remember. And now we are looking at another human-made disaster coming to our beaten-down city – Mr. Male Douchebag himself! Why? If he is crying about how social media has been treating him, L.A. is the last place he would want to move to. Only those who want attention show up out here.

Man we can not catch a break, even when we win, we somehow still lose!

####

I would like to have an audio recording of the negotiations between Patrick and Jackson Mahomes. I have to believe big brother made it clear that Jackson needed to go chase his Hollywood dreams and he was willing to finance those dreams as long as Jackson left Kansas City besides a trip here and there.

Think about the gauntlet that Mahomes now faces to win the AFC West with the addition of Russell Wilson in Denver. The last thing he needs is his dumb brother causing even more issues while baby mama Brit Brit causes her own issues.

• Rann R. writes:

I have a road trip planned this weekend to visit my son and his family in Memphis. My grandkids will be on spring break next week. So I will gladly pony up the extra $40-$50 for gas to spend time with them. F@#% all the politicians who have screwed up this world.

On another note…

Need feedback from you and SC Nation – how can the NFL get in bed with gambling and then suspend a player for gambling?

####

Integrity! Credibility!

The only gambling you could allow NFL guys to do would be a season-long bet on their teams to win every game. Straight moneyline bets the whole way. Could we someday get to a point where the starting quarterback has $2M bets on himself for 17 straight games?

Never say never.

The minute you allow guys to place bets here and there is the minute people start thinking the fix is in. Fans already think the refs fix games. The last thing the Shield needs is for fans to think the players are fixing games.

Would you gamble on games that are fixed without knowing which team is in on the fix?

On the Florida police officer who put her life on the line to stop a drunk driver

• Chris from Dallas writes:

That video was nuts.  I hope she’s OK.  I looked on GiveSendGo and couldn’t find her.  I honestly have no idea how to set one up or I’d do it.

P.S. Fuck GoFundMe.

####

And with that, let’s get the day rolling across this great country. Have a great Wednesday and don’t forget to let me know what’s on your mind. Fill up the inbox, get dialed in on the conference championships and inhale that glorious meat from your grill.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

One Comment

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  1. Joe, speaking of locked in on March Madness, did you see Bryant clinch a spot last night ? I know, I know, Bryant who is that and who cares. But they have a 6’5″ white kid named Peter Kiss (insert teenage laughter) that absolutely dominates. Dude leads the NCAA in scoring, can not only shoot, but can cram, and is the biggest smack talker i’ve ever seen. He’s chirping and pointing and flexing after every single bucket. And he averages 25 a game, so there’s plenty of it. He literally talked so much smack that a brawl started in the stands and they had to kick the other teams fans out. Anyways, he’s so hated that although he led the NCAA in scoring, he wasn’t even the POY in his own conference! Crazy. Should make for a fun 16 vs 1 matchup in the tourney.

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