Joakim Noah's Selling His Suburban Chicago House With A Boring Basement Bar

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Joakim Noah has come to the end of the road with the northern Chicago suburban house he bought after his rookie season with the Bulls. He’s selling the 5,000 sq. ft. house with a basement that was apparently never updated since Noah moved in. Asking price: $1,369,000.

Over the last 10 years or so, I’ve probably blogged over a thousand athlete homes, and I’ve never come across a basement that so ill-matches its owner like Joakim’s basement does. Noah is more palm tree than knotty pine. Go look at the guy’s Instagram page. He’s hanging in the tropics with Laird Hamilton. The last thing I expected out of this guy’s basement was for it to look like the inside of J.J. Watt’s Wisconsin cabin.

To be clear, I wouldn’t say ‘no’ if Joakim invited me over to slam a couple of drafts and play pool while the Georgia-Bama game was on the 32″ LED. The first thing I’d do to this basement, though, is rip out that stained glass behind the bar, get me four TVs and cover that wall with electronics and LED lights.

From Noah’s realtor:

The lower level. .. .wow! The expansive space includes a mirrored gym, full bath, wine closet, and a full bar with a beer tap, dishwasher, ice-maker and more. A full-sized basketball court is in the rear yard for everyone’s enjoyment. Plenty of room for a pool, too! This is a unique opportunity to own this impeccably maintained and gently used home. Enjoy the resort-like living with plenty of space to live, work, and play while enjoying the sounds and beauty of the nature that surrounds this very special home. This is the good life.

Mortgage: About $8,000/mo. before you start talking costs associated with ripping out that knotty pine.