Videos by OutKick
Someone has been working out. Dang, Jeff!
The Bad Boy of Online Retail, Jeff Bezos, and his girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez (who is also known as Tony Gonzalez’s baby mama), were spotted Tuesday aboard the billionaire’s brand new $500 million, 417-foot superyacht in Mallorca, Spain preparing to set off on the boat’s maiden voyage.
Let’s just say Jeff, 59, appears ready to have one of the best summers of his life with Lauren, 53, as they do what new boat owners do:
- Tell all their friends they own a boat and how their friends should come visit.
- Complain about the price of gas to power the new boat.
- Make sure to tell all their friends boating jokes such as, “Boats are like strippers, they work until you quit throwing $100 bills at them.”
- Brag on Facebook about all the cool places they’ve been in the boat.
One thing is clear about these new boat owners — they’re going to be barely clothed at all times and you can’t blame Jeff one bit for ripping off the shirt and showing Lauren that he’s a shredded machine at nearly 60 years old.
The haters will say that Jeff has been hitting the PEDs and growth hormones while trying to deny the aging process.
And I would say that is perfectly acceptable behavior for a guy worth something like $132 BILLION dollars, especially when Jeff was a huge nerd back in the 1990s. The guy wants to live the bad boy lifestyle where he’s starring at Lauren in her bikini while she stares at The Bad Boy’s pecs and knowing the amount of credit on his AMEX.
This is exactly the type of behavior you like to see out of a billionaire on a brand-new superyacht. It’s like a guy who just took ownership of a 32-foot center console after years of working his ass off as a plumber. Jeff’s the same guy, minus a few digits.
Plumber Guy can’t wait to rip off his shirt, get a good sweat going and spread his legs as he hammers the throttle on his way to a sand bar off the coast of Marco Island. That’s Jeff, but Jeff has a crew to drive the boat, a crew to massage his pecs, a crew to pour drinks, a crew to mix Lauren protein shakes, etc.
Take notice, nerds.
This could be you. Dream big. Work your ass off. Get a Lauren. Have the best summer of your life. Now go follow the blueprint provided by Jeff.