It’s Topgolf, But For Baseball!

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Someone has to say it: Topgolf sucks.

OK, let me clarify. Topgolf sucks if you are not good at golf.

You pay an hourly rate to be corralled into a bay with five of your friends or coworkers. Then you overpay for food and drinks. Then you completely humiliate yourself while the kid next door playing “Angry Birds” laughs at your expense.

Truly traumatic.


ever seen someone fall into the net at top golf? @miaya.guggisberg #fyp #topgolf #HotwireHotelGoals #TakisTransformation

♬ original sound – You’re not that guy pal

That person is not me, but I feel for her.

Anyway, saying I am terrible at golf would be a wild understatement. I don’t mean that I simply can’t hit the ball very far. Or that my accuracy is nonexistent. I mean when I take a swing, I only make contact with the ball maybe four times out of 10.

Now, you might read that and say, “Wow, that’s embarrassing.”

But when I read that, I say, “Wow, that’s an impressive batting average.”

And that’s why I’m really excited about this new restaurant in Texas.

Home Run Dugout is the ‘Topgolf of baseball.’

It’s a huge step up from the old school batting cages. And unlike its golf counterpart, you don’t actually have to be competent at the sport.

Even though MLB legend Nolan Ryan is an investor in the venue, it’s not aimed at professional baseball players. Or even better-than-average wiffle ball players.

In fact, it’s the “home of the 7 MPH fastball.”

“Our patent-pending pitching machine is a machine. But not the intimidating kind,” the Home Run Dugout website boasts. “The kind that soft-tosses pitches that even your grandma could hit.”

Now, THAT’S what I’m talking about! Lob me a softball like an MSNBC reporter interviewing Joe Biden, and I’ll knock that sucker out of the park.

Like my girl Emma Jean here.

Home Run Dugout’s second location opens in Katy, Texas, on March 30. The OG venue is in Round Rock, Texas, where Nolan Ryan also owns a minor league team.

With only two locations, Home Run Dugout has a long way to go before it truly rivals Topgolf (which has more than 80 stores worldwide).

But until then (or until I vacation in Texas), I guess I’ll continue to embarrass myself.

And before any of y’all come at me about my lack of coordination, just know I will wipe the floor with you at Skee-Ball.

Written by Amber Harding

Amber is a Midwestern transplant living in Murfreesboro, TN. She spends most of her time taking pictures of her dog, explaining why real-life situations are exactly like "this one time on South Park," and being disappointed by the Tennessee Volunteers.


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  1. This is a cool concept but it could have been done a lot better. I thought it would actually be like Top Golf where you hit a baseball from a bay to an open baseball field. IMO it’s kinda whack that all they have to offer are virtual bays where you hit a lob pitch into a screen. And they only have 12 of those virtual bays so you may be waiting for a while..

    If they’re not going to offer hitting to an open field, they should at least throw in 12 real batting cages where you can hit faster pitches, to go along with the 12 lob/screen bays. Honestly, what’s the point of the field if you’re not batting on to it? Can you at least go out there and toss a baseball around?

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