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It started on the second pull
All it took was the sound of a far-off chainsaw doing work on a Sunday afternoon — it was the sound of my people.
Be productive. Do Hard Things®. It’s March…do this work now and you’ll be rewarded with a beautiful Sunday in April to play 18 with the boys. Erect those fences so the dog can’t destroy half the yard. Erect barriers so she cannot run laps around the pool fence like she’s in a greyhound race. Prevent her from running down the right side of the property line that’s wet and muddy.
All it took was the sound of that chainsaw to trigger the neurons in my brain to tell me it was officially time to get the season started. That’s right, my preseason training regimen started Sunday under sometimes beautiful blue skies, and just the right temperature to do yard prep for Patio SZN 2023.
Nothing else mattered Sunday.
I had no idea the Elite 8 games were being played in the afternoon. Didn’t care.
Spring was in the air. The birds were chirping. There were tulips to protect from the pack of neighborhood kids playing tag in our yard. There was a dog to stop from skying over our daylilies and creating a crater landing spot like a hole created in a batter’s box by a slugger.
There were bird feeders to fill (I bought the Squirrel Stopper 2000, or whatever they call this thing that closes on the squirrel if he tries to hang from the damn thing) and hang so our cardinals will have something to eat. There was dog crap to pick up. There were pots to clear out and fill with new Miracle-Gro®.
Now it’s game on. The season has started.
- I have 500 more stickers available. Once those are gone, I’m done with stickers for the season. I’d say there are somewhere around 100 more emails and DMs to fill, so get your orders in because once 4/20 rolls around, I’m done with stickers.
- Once I get the Australia address, stickers will be going out to: The Netherlands, New Zealand, Canada and Down Under. That’s not bad.
- Do people mow in Japan? One of you has to be in the Far East monitoring the lawn scene.
Look at this TNML art
• Adam W. in Sidney, NE writes:
Good morning Commissioner of the Thursday Night Mowing League.
Shout out to businesses traveler Andy to TN. Absolutely a centurion diamond elite bonus rewards update from him.
TNML sticker has been riding for a almost a year on my bag. Andy, you need one.
Keeping with the travel ball theme. My 10-year-old self is kinda jealous about how many teams travel on airlines for tournaments etc. I never even dreamed of something like that as a kid.
Now the dad in me just wants to know the money side, and the non-Instagram perfection side of that grind for the parents. It would be great to get some Travel ball confidential reports from the field. Please throw a bone to some of us park and rec level Dads.
I agree, I’d be interested in anonymous reports on the money being spent on travel ball. Anyone out there have stories from the road? Anyone have heresay stories they’ve heard from the road? I’m sure there are multiple readers who are training these kids — what are these parents willing to spend?
As always, you stay anonymous. Change your name to some Chinese spelling for all I care. Adam and I need travel ball spending stories.
Speaking of spring has sprung…let’s go to Birmingham
• Brandon B., the Screencaps superfan who had me fly down to Bama last year to give a talk on my Internet career, writes:
Checking in from the garage. As you can see from the picture, I have Golden Tee fired up, beer fridge peaking out from behind computer, got some baseball cards (new hobby that Screencaps helped get me started in), and basketball playing on the second tv. Enjoying a nice Spotted Cow beverage (only from Wisconsin as I understand it), a little Eagle Rare (not in picture but I’m somewhat of a bourbon bro at times) and of course The Intimidator himself staring out at me. But my favorite part….I hear two lawn mowers running in the distance.
See I explained to you that I haven’t cut my grass in years. I had a back issue so I outsourced it and once the back got better, I just never cared to take back on the “chore.” Well TNML inspired me. I fired the lawn service and have been getting back in the game. Like Favre coming out of retirement for the 10th time, I laced up the 5 year old sketchers (mowing shoe of choice) on Thursday and knocked out a little preseason action. Yard has a long way to go but I have to admit how accomplished I felt.
I don’t have much, but what I have I want to take care of. I have even sketched out some plans for some landscaping projects. The League and the SC users have inspired me to have a little more pride in my yard and Do Hard Things.
If you could just start a garage cleaning Tuesday league, that would help motivate me to take care of the mound of crap in the garage.
Last July, I spent a Friday night in Brandon B.’s garage drinking Busch Lights — I see he’s upgraded the beer offerings — and playing Golden Tee. I’m pretty sure that TV on the left is new and the Dale standee was a Christmas gift from Screencaps reader Greg M., in Tennessee who has a secret stash of those beautiful Dale standees that he sends out at random times.
For the new readers, this is how your life will evolve by reading this column. One minute you won’t mow on Thursdays, or mow at all. You won’t believe in living the garage beer lifestyle. Then all of a sudden, it all starts to come together and you might own a 5-foot Dale statue and hold Friday night Golden Tee benders with the boys.
BTW, Brandon does need to have a garage sale. Just being honest, B.B.
(So do I.)
• Louie in Savannah writes:
Had to mow on Saturday morning due to Little League Baseball Tourney all last week, every evening was tied up. I felt gross mowing on Saturday.
Anyway, snapped this photo before the last dance with the Cub Cadet. Seven + All Pro seasons, countless hours running like a dream, a rebuilt self drive bar, started requiring extra warm up time last season but no time spent on the DL.
Special shout out to Gorilla Glue Duct Tape for the huge assist, keeping the clippings from blowing back into my face the last two seasons after the plastic chute cover broke.
The zero turn arrives this week, it’s time to send the cub cadet jersey to the rafters. “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
I’m excited to slap my TNML Sticker on my new mower and ready to keep the momentum going into the ‘23 Season!
Thank you to Louie for the mowing report, but the real news from Louie is that he’s supposed to have a big golf appearance this week at a Korn Ferry event. What happens when a guy who doesn’t golf much ends up in a Korn Ferry scramble?
We’re going to find out this week.
• Chris D. writes:
My balls finally dropped
Best 15 bucks I ever spent!
Analyzing the weekend
• John from SD writes:
The new IGs: thank you and very refreshing from the “regulars”. Veronica Bielik managed to sneak in there but that’s okay. Juliana and Kila are both great additions.
Timme and the Zags: I thought this might be the year that a major wouldn’t win it and the Zags were best chance since Butler went cold from the field in 2010 and gave Duke another national championship. IMO, they weren’t experienced enough and gave that game away.
FAU, spectacular, sloppy, great, chaos is the best way to describe that game. Both teams took seven point leads to later squander them. Great to see a 9 seed make it. The down side is losing the opportunity to keep watching Markquis Nowell. How didn’t he have the last shot of the game? Great to see the Aztecs advancing and UT out of the tournament.
I used to watch women’s bb ncaa Final Four games but I guess it’s been a while. I watched The Ohio State game vs UCONN. Entertaining but also a mess. Constant turnovers, drive to the basket for a layup on one-on-one coverage for a basket or foul, three point shots/attempts, and lastly the rare jumper. This used to be a great product. Did the wnba ruin it? The stats in the Miami game were horrible!
Straight razor shave? Since I brought up the barber/stylist issue I feel obligated to answer this question. Yes, do it once just for the experience. I have a thick beard and had the straight razor-shave done in a middle eastern country years ago (probably thinking I felt like any unknown cowboy rolling into town/Clint Eastwood). Don’t think I’ll do it again, so it’s up to you to decide. Personal opinion, buy the best razors you can find, for me it’s Gillette.
I thought there would be more emails on the variety of IG models who have made their debuts over the last two weeks. I’ve been on the hunt for the next wave of great IGs who will be stars by the end of 2023.
As always, I’m willing to listen to your suggestions.
• Congrats to Jake V. in Oregon on eradicating at least one mole:
Success!! (gotta celebrate the little victories in life)
Don’t post _ will bring the wrath of PETA down on you.
I can confirm — Jake got one.
• Gerard, who has the mole-hunting dog, is back:
Molly has also eradicated all the gophers in our yard. (We have the small striped kind, not the large “Caddyshack” type.) These little suckers pop their heads up out of their hole when you are mowing. They must not like the sound of the mower. Some of my buddies carry rifles on their mowers just for this chance. (Yes we are hillbillies and we all live in the country…)
Anyway Molly had eliminated all of these little boogers except 1. This particular gopher had the majority of it’s holes on the other side of the underground fence. Molly would sit as close to that fence as she could get for days hoping she would get lucky. All summer our friends were asking why our dog was sitting out by the road. (We live on the farm on a main county highway.) She hunted this sucker all summer with no success.
That all changed one Thursday. I happened to be mowing when that sucker popped up out by the road ditch. I hopped off the mower and chased it into the yard. Molly was waiting. Unfortunately the gopher saw Molly and ran back towards the ditch (on the other side of the underground fence). I chased it down the ditch and it did another U turn right back into Molly’s domain. She got it! I was so excited and started jumping around like a fool. Turned around to get back on my mower when I see the mail lady had pulled in to deliver the mail. She witnessed the whole thing. The look on her face was a WTF did I just see?? Did I mention my wife thinks I’m a hillbilly?
Screencaps font color change
• Steven G. from Texas writes:
It looks like the font color has changed to gray, instead of the usual black, and it blends into the white background. Just wanted to mention that in case the change wasn’t intentional. Or maybe it’s an issue with the display on my MacBook.
As a comparison, here’s a link to another Outkick article: https://www.outkick.com/bill-maher-sports-meritocracy-left-video/ and the Friday’s Screencaps: https://www.outkick.com/kathy-ireland-turned-60-this-week-shes-back-john-dalys-rough-night-at-the-sweet-16-plus-drew-timme-has-to-be-35-with-3-kids/.
Appreciate you and the work you do.
Go Blue (class of ’12 and ’17) and Gig ‘Em.
Anyone else having this issue? This is the first complaint/observation I’ve heard about this change. Trust me, I will hammer out a Slack to Will Mac and Ryan F. if this is indeed causing chaos within the community.
That’s it. We’ve already made it to the final Monday in March. Now the time is flying. Weekends are flying by. Spring breaks are flying by. Months are flying by.
Go give ’em hell at work, or in retirement, today.
One CommentLeave a Reply
Out of morbid curiosity I watched a few minutes of the Mia-LSU game. A decent boys’ MS team would have crushed either of them last night.