Instagram Star Emily Elizabeth Shuts Down Her Summer, Browns Fans Gone Wild & Auburn Fans Fighting Each Other

This is a great morning to let your emotions flow

I would like to go on record this morning by saying I’m completely fine that 2021 was a huge fluke season out of MY Bengals. It was magical, but it’s clear two games into the 2022 season the Bungals caught lightning in a bottle on the way to nearly figuring out a way to win the Super Bowl.

I’m not a football expert like you see on TV, but I have watched enough Cincinnati football to know we’re dealing with a team that thought it was going to walk into the 2022 season pulling off miracle wins like 2021. We have a team that is shook after a snap cost them a win over the Steelers and a team that allowed Cooper Rush to beat them.

Throw in a quarterback who seems listless and we have a real issue in Cincinnati.

Now, the only saving grace here is that the AFC North is the dumpster fire I expected it to be. The Ravens are still a defensive disaster. The Browns are the Browns and the Steelers should be 0-2.

The bad news for the Bengals is that the schedule isn’t kind and they now have just a 21% probability of making the playoffs.

Other observations from sitting around on the patio watching football:

  1. Congratulations to the guy who spent $8 on the Jags in the Gauntlet draft where I started laughing. The joke is on me because the Jags will either lead or be in a tie for the AFC South by the end of the night. And since the Titans are playing the Bills, I’ll predict the Jags will have an outright lead going into Week 3.
  2. It might be time to Old Yeller Matt Ryan’s (16 of 30, 195 yards, 3 INTs) NFL career. Maybe? The Colts are officially on the clock to draft a quarterback.
  3. Just think of the smile on Jimmy G’s face this morning as he lays in bed with some Instagram model.
  4. Trey Lance is done in S.F., right?
  5. The Seahawks rushed for 36 yards against the 49ers! That’s the sixth-fewest rushing yards during a regular season game in the Pete Carroll era.
  6. The Lions have a playoff offense. Now, Detroit fans will think I’m trolling them. The Lions just put up 191 yards of rushing on Washington. Now let’s see Detroit do 140 rushing yards on the road and I’ll have full confirmation this is a playoff team.
  7. Congrats to those of you who drafted Amon-Ra St. Brown in fantasy leagues.
  8. This was a huge prediction by Tony Romo:

Suburbia dilemma of the Weekend

• I was on the patio having a few Saturday night beers with a neighbor and trying to stay out of deep conversations when Collin started in on Mrs. Screencaps with his cellphone stance. He claims his daughter won’t get one until 8th grade and it will come with serious stipulations.

Personally, I was just trying to watch Ohio State score 77 on MY Toledo Rockets, but I assured him I’d bring it up with the Screencaps community.

Help this guy by sharing your wisdom on this subject. Walk us through the cellphone stage.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

Has Collinsworth always been a pompous ass?

• Gerard W. writes:

Has Cris Collinsworth always been a pompous ass?  Is he like all the blue checkmark journalists that you used to work with?  For f–ks sake…….

I think the thing that drives me craziest about Collinsworth is that he passed down that voice to his son who will now be rammed down our ear canals for the next 30 years at least. God help me if I’m holed up in a Florida double-wide 30 years from now and Jac Collinsworth is the play-by-play guy for Google’s Sunday NFL Ticket.

Fires and crappy football

• Indy Daryl was down on Russell Wilson before the Broncos pulled out a 4th quarter victory:

Good evening! Don’t pay for any cable, or premium football packages, so currently watching the Cowboys vs Bengals. Sorry to see your cats struggle! Always root for Burrow and will continue to do so; hope they can pull out a fourth-quarter comeback. That being said, I think my broncos are toast. They loo absolutely terrible with Wilson… ugh gonna be a long season.

Glad I had Saturday night in which there was a fire on the deck (thanks Solo Stove!) and a fire in the grill with delicious wings! Have a great rest of the night and look forward to a great start of the week.

Jason D. is back with an update on his wife’s 40th birthday

• You might remember Jason D. as the Screencaps reader whose wife had a big birthday coming up, but she didn’t want to do a getaway with friends because Jason’s had some issues with seizures.

Jason provides an update:

Hey Joe, It’s been a few weeks since I checked in. My wife’s 40th birthday came and went without any tears being shed so I will take it. Thanks to the advice offered up by you and the screencaps community, I did not push her into taking a girl’s trip to celebrate this milestone. She is just not ready to leave me alone because of my seizures. We have agreed that she will fly to Michigan in December to see a friend. I hope she is able to do it when the time comes. 

Like most times in my life, I am late arriving to the garage fridge party. My wife called me a few weeks ago and told me I would need to find a way to pick-up my “new” garage fridge that night. She had found a 1991 Whirlpool at a garage sale for $25. I was skeptical but excited. I have only mentioned how cool a garage fridge would be just a few times in her presence. She filed that away in her mind and found one at a random garage sale. She bought the fridge for me but her excitement level greatly increased when I got the fridge plugged in and loaded with some of her favorites. 

My brother and I went that night to get the fridge. The owners were older and were moving to a smaller house. They had lived in that house for 30 years and the fridge was brand new when they moved in. As their kids got older they installed the lock on the side. The owner shared that they loved their kids but they also loved beer so they had to find a way to protect both. As a father of 3 young kids that will someday become teenagers, I couldn’t appreciate the lock anymore. 

My fridge sticker game is just getting started but the pictures shared by the screencap community has given me motivation to get going. The Busch Light stock at my local Sam’s club has been empty for the last 3 weeks so my current stock is low. I do have some apple pie “moonshine” that is aging in the back of the fridge that should be ready in a couple weeks. I would be happy to send you a sample but I’m not sure drinking homemade “moonshine” from a guy in Missouri is at the top of your list. Thanks again Joe for reminding us common folk that we are common for good reasons. 

How long is this going to take?

I saw this guy mowing grass on Saturday morning. Ok, so I guess he’s a professional and he’s just doing his job. 

This is the historic Selma Mansion in Leesburg, Virginia. 

What do you think of the stripes? 

What do you think of one guy working alone with a mower that size on a lot that big? 

How long is that going to take? 

Anyways, it’s a beautiful property in a beautiful area – Leesburg. I’d recommend visiting for some nice golf courses, wineries and hiking. 

Thanks for all the fun content. Keep it up! 

Well, based on my .25 acre suburban spread, I’d have to assume this guy spent 7-10 hours, depending on how many beer stops he made along the way, to hammer out this Saturday mowing session.

Or you could say he worked through GameDay & the Purdue-Syracuse early game and then finished up around the time Auburn was getting its ass kicked on the Plains.

What do I think of one guy handling that job? I think it’s completely maniacal behavior, especially on a Saturday, but that’s definitely not the property owner hammering out a ridiculous Saturday session. Not when you have a pool like that.

And I’m not a zero-turn guy, so I have no idea. Do these things have laser sights to keep the lines straight? There’s little to no waggle in those stripes.

Fire up the fire pits

• Mike T. in Idaho declares it’s fire pit season:

• And of course, the Screencaps readers with 30 acres of burn space can’t let suburbia have its fun. Ryan O. had to go and show off his inferno:

Mississippi DOT takes a shot at the NCAA:

• Bill C. in Ridgeland, MS has been on something of a content bender the last couple of weeks. Bill writes:

MDOT is wanting to give the NCAA more enforcement powers 

Beer soap prices seem high

• Bill W. writes:

 I hate to bother you again, but I saw this at Cabelas. 

Am I the only one who thinks it’s ridiculous that a single bar of Busch soap costs more than a six-pack of Busch Light bottles? Thanks Biden.

Perch fishing sunrise

• Beau in Toledo had himself a weekend. There are very few things in life as rewarding as bringing ’em in two at a time in the western basin of Lake Erie on a beautiful weekend morning:

Sunrise on Lake Erie with Family and perch rods

And now we’re ready to roll this week. Fall is here. Prepare to sacrifice Saturdays to the pumpkin patches and apple orchards. It’s time.

Have a great day across this incredible place we call home.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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