The Cleveland Indians wanted to change their nickname so as not to offend a group of people, then named themselves after a group of people. Ladies and gentlemen, meet your Cleveland Guardians.
And don’t you know there’s some group of Guardians out there who will be offended by the new moniker.
So, what, exactly is a Guardian? Well, most people think of it as an angel — as in “my guardian angel.” Others think of Guardians of the Galaxy, the Marvel Comics superhero movie. Webster’s defines it simply as “one who guards” and “one who has the care of the person or property of another.”
Even worse, the Indians’ laughable new nickname comes with an awful primary logo: a baseball with wings. It makes you wonder … haven’t these dorks ever heard of the Los Angeles Angels?
True to cheesy social media form, the Indians announced the name change in what was supposed to be an inspirational video, but was actually something we’ll look back on and laugh — in, like, an hour.
It features the voice of suddenly annoying actor Tom Hanks and the music of the Black Keys, a blues-rock band from nearby Akron that may or may not have been good 10 years ago.
Bad nickname, bad logo, bad primary lettering, bad video and bad introduction to all of it. Anyone who watches over people’s stuff ought to be offended.