‘Goosebumps’ Re-Editing Books to Appease The Woke

Goosebumps is proudly re-editing R.L. Stine's popular book series in the name of political correctness.

The series has undergone more than 100 edits, reports Deadline. The edits include changing "plump" characters to "cheerful," "crazy" to "silly", and removing references to "slaves."It's unclear how an objectively offensive term like "crazy" ever made it to the publication in the first place.

A reissue of the 1998 title Bride of the Living Dummy removes the "love tap" to which Slappy famously uses to knock a girl unconscious.

Slappy now uses a magic spell, instead.

The 1996 Attack of the Jack-O’-Lantern once described a character as "tall and good-looking, with dark brown eyes and a great, warm smile. Lee is African-American, and he sort of struts when he walks and acts real cool, like the rappers on MTV videos.”

The revised version now reads as "tall and good-looking, with brown skin, dark brown eyes and a great, warm smile. He sort of struts when he walks and acts real cool.”

In The Curse of Camp Cold Lake from 1997, the boys of summer camp no longer use “a loud wolf-whistle." The boys now simply “whistled loudly.

Other edits include changing the sentence of "Did he really expect me to be his slave – forever?” in I Live in Your Basement! to “Did he really expect me to do this – forever?”

Schoolgirls no longer have "crushes" in Say Cheese and Die – Again! That line was deleted and not replaced.

"Crushes" crossed the line, it appears.

Book edits are not common practice to appease those who purport to be offended.

Changes to Goosebumps follow a publisher hiring sensitive readers to edit Roald Dahl’s books for supposedly "offensive" language.

The progressive movement doesn't possess an end goal. The movement inherently continues to progress.

As Adam Carolla once said:

“Think about those two words. ‘Progressive.’ ‘Movement.’ They mean it’s never going to stop. It starts by moving toward real problems, but when the people in the movement run out of real problems, they still need to keep progressing, keep moving, and that’s where we’re at now.”

The movement inherently continues to progress.

Now, we are re-editing books from the 90s to remove terms like "crazy" and "plump."

Note: An earlier version of this story cited the Deadline report that author R.L. Stine was directly involved in the re-writes. He tweeted a post saying that the changes were done without his knowledge, denying the report.

Scholastic has since confirmed that the reported changes were made, in a statement to Deadline:

“For more than 30 years, the Goosebumps series has brought millions of kids to reading through humor with just the right amount of scary,” read the statement. “Scholastic takes its responsibility seriously to continue bringing this classic adolescent brand to each new generation. When re-issuing titles several years ago, Scholastic reviewed the text to keep the language current and avoid imagery that could negatively impact a young person’s view of themselves today, with a particular focus on mental health.”