Joe Kinsey
Videos by OutKick
This is a MAJOR update to the explosive diarrhea story I posted on Tuesday
The eyewitnesses said it was bad on that Atlanta to Barcelona Delta flight and now we have the visual evidence of just how bad. It sure looks like it was a river of diarrhea just as the eyewitnesses described it.
Are you a Parrothead?
• Brendan in F’ville, NC asks:
Are you a closet Parrothead? Is your wife? I’ve got a sneaking suspicion (say +300 odds) that one of you knows all the words to “Son of a Son of a Sailor”.
P.S. Discovering unexpected Parrotheads, Deadheads, Juggalos, etc. is one of life’s little pleasures.
Kinsey:
- I never went to a Buffett concert.
- I never owned a Buffett tape, CD or an illegal Buffett Limewire download. Relax, Feds.
- I’m big on actual performance artists who actually put on shows that are legit shows. I’m pro-entertainment that’s actual entertainment. If KISS wants to paint their faces and blow bottle rockets out of their asses, I’m for it. If Jimmy Buffett entertained fans by getting them to put their fins up and it brought them great joy to put their fins up, then I’m pro-fins up.
- I’ve never been to a Dead, Phish or any other show where the jam bands play songs for a half-hour while the crowd — baked on brownies — grooves along. But, I’m pro-30-minute songs for the baked on brownies folks. They’re not hurting anyone.
Why are big-time CFB programs playing hard road games?
• Chris B. writes:
Why is LSU playing that game anyway? They should be playing a preseason game like everyone else.
Clemson on the other hand thought they’d scheduled a preseason game, but ran into the Mike Elko buzzsaw. Kelly & Dabo earn enormous salaries so here come the articles talking about their insanely huge buyouts.
Jimbo sucked terribly last season (and has been meh overall), and it seems like every article that mentions him also talks about how huge his buyout is. Michigan State is another one. Unfortunately that’s college football these days. Coach salaries are huge and their contract guarantee durations are nuts. If the world ever finds a way to regulate NIL, maybe we can also dream about limits on coaching contract durations.
Back to your subject of naturally pretty ladies… Claire Hogle > Paige Spirinac
Kinsey:
Completely agree. Do you see Michigan adding a tough game to its schedule? Hell no, you don’t. The school knows the fans will fill the stadium for a night game against Bowling Green. Screw it. Why schedule a possible loss when you can schedule a cupcake home game? If I’m running a big program, I’m booking cupcakes unless one of the networks wants to throw around some BIG dollars.
I HATE Michigan football & scumbag Jim Harbaugh with a passion, but I have to respect the hustle big ‘ol athletic director Warde Manuel put into this schedule. It’s called absolutely HUSTLING the consumer who is forced to buy garbage games to get that Ohio State ticket.
By the way, on coach contract durations, isn’t that on the boosters who offer to pay the contracts? The market should dictate the coaching contract durations.
Do you ever receive hate mail?
• Joey P. wonders:
Hi Joe. Just curious if you have ever gotten hate mail before. If you have, what do you do? Do you respond to it, ignore it, etc?
Kinsey:
- This fall marks my 16th year working on the Internet attempting to piss off or get a charge out of readers. Not only have I received hate mail, I’ve received messages from dudes in prison, I’ve received death threats (from Cleveland Browns fans over Johnny Manziel coverage) and I just had Warren Sapp threatening to have me fired.
- Yes, Joey, I’ve received hate mail. Yes, the message from the dude in prison (it was either Alabama or Mississippi) left me shook.
- The trans G community came after me when I was writing about Lia Thomas kicking the crap out of biological females.
- Lately, I’ve been ignoring the hate mail and things like Sapp threatening my livelihood. The vibe on Screencaps has been right where I want it. There are moments where I might piss off Mike T. in Idaho by saying I’d be surprised if more than 1% of Screencaps readers hand wash their cars.
- But this is a morning column. Readers don’t want to wake up and instantly go into anger mode. They want to look at the bright side of life and celebrate actually waking up. Business 101 tells me to keep things rather upbeat in the morning.
- That said, if you’re not pissing off someone on the Internet, you need to get better at your job.
Chris Fowler
• Duncan N. writes:
A guy I know was in an elevator with Fowler and Herbie after they called a big Auburn game (this was 15-20 years ago). My buddy gets off the elevator, and being drunk, turns around and says “hey Chris, has anyone ever told you that you look like a monkey? Monkey monkey monkey!” And Herbie is dying of laughter as the doors close. Maybe Chris hasn’t gotten over that insult and just remains miserable?
Kinsey:
Can’t say I expected such a story about Chris Fowler, but here we are. Just another Wednesday on Screencaps.
I don’t typically say you should watch a video that requires you to watch a commercial before the video, but this one is worth it
Look at how those dogs light up over George and the dog treats.
How many of you are competing in Ironmans?
• Heath asks:
Joe, I’d like to know more about the IRONMAN races Millennial Chris B and Diesel are doing. Heck, I wonder how many in the SC nation are triathletes and have done an IRONMAN or half.
Kinsey:
I think I heard Millennial Chris B. in Bowling Green say he’s doing an Ironman in Traverse City. I can’t possibly keep up with the guy. One minute he’s turning off the gas to some little old lady at his day job to biking from Bowling Green to South Bend, Indiana for the hell of it.
It sounds miserable, but it gets him out of the house. The guy has been talking about DIYing an inground pool so he can swim hundreds of laps per day instead of swimming in farm ponds he spots on his way to shut off the gas to little old ladies.
As for Diesel, the only Ironman that guy is competing in are Ironmans which consist of 36 holes of golf, 36 Keno draws, and romantic 3-hour grazing board dinners with Mrs. Diesel.
Speaking of which, the Diesels just spent 3 DAYS boating because they RESPECT SUMMER.
Doing Hard Things and Never Giving Up
• Steve C. sent over this heartwarming story of the 34-year-old Virginia kicker who spent most of his 20s and early 30s in the Marine Corps as a Cobra helicopter pilot.
That’s it this morning. From what I’m told by the local weather guys, fall weather is supposed to start after the rain we’re getting this morning, but I refuse to believe it. They claim we’re heading to the upper 60s and low 70s, but I think it’s just to energize the pumpkin spice latte base.
That’s right, it’s a fall false flag operation by these Weather Big Js.
Those of us who Respect Summer won’t stand for it. Screw the Weather Big Js.
Get out there and live life like Diesel and Mrs. D.
Take care and have a great day.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
The dog lover video brought tears to my eyes as I recently lost my 14 year old yellow Labrador.
Clay is absolutely correct. The View audience and viewers ARE idiots.
Love Clay beating up the whiny woke sympathy for Covid Whoopie!
One of my buddies is semi retired and his regular golf buddies weren’t available last Friday, so he spoke to the Pro and tacked on to a four ball missing one last minute drop out.
Ziggy said as he walked up to introduce himself, his 3 companions for the morning were in a head shaking discussion. He introduced himself, thanked them for having him and asked why they were only a three today. One guy looked at the others and with his eyes downcast told him the missing buddy has covid. Ziggy said he just nodded and said ‘Oh well, he’ll be back next week, but worked out for me!’
He said they all looked at each other again and one asked, ‘Have you HAD covid’? To which Ziggy replied ‘I don’t know’. Another round of shocked looks between the group. Ziggy said he offered to tee off last, gave a sideways glance as they shook their heads and played a quiet first nine!
Apparently ‘I don’t know’ isn’t the correct answer to the ‘biggest medical disaster in living memory’ for the woke. Honest comebacks floor the pretentious because they don’t know how to deal with people who won’t play their game!