ESPN Demotes Disturbed Lunatic Mark Jones Off NBA Conference Finals

ESPN demoted Mark Jones from its coverage of the NBA Conference Finals. The network confirmed in a press release Monday that Dave Pasch will call the Eastern Conference Finals on ESPN Radio instead.

It’s unclear why ESPN booted Jones out of the lineup. So, we compiled a list of possible explanations:

• Sharing a tweet calling his colleague Stephen A. Smith a “coon.”
• Sharing multiple tweets telling Rush Limbaugh to “rot in hell” on the day he died of lung cancer.
• Lying about the police murdering a still-very-alive Jacob Blake.
• Lying about Jacob Blake being unarmed.
• Liking nasty tweets about his colleague JJ Redick.
• Baselessly accusing stadium police officers of trying to shoot him.
• Connecting Aaron Rodgers to QAnon without proof.
• Violating ESPN’s ban on discussing politics.
• Liking tweets calling Queen Elizabeth a vile racist.
• Liking tweets mocking Nick Bosa for tearing his ACL.
• Making a “blowjob” reference on-air.
• Discussing “insurrections” during NBA games.
• Calling Batman a racist.
• Reposting tweets asserting Ron DeSantis is in the KKK.
• Promoting an inaccurate report that 90% of the NBA media is white.
• Posting disparaging tweets about Nikola Jokić and Luka Doncic (wonder why these two).
• Sharing a tweet that white people are trying to appropriate Jesus.

Actually, none of those reasons are why ESPN demoted Mark Jones. In fact, the network stood by him after each incident. We asked for comment.

Thus, it’s more likely ESPN kicked Jones off the Conference Finals because he isn’t good at calling basketball games.

He mispronounces players’ names, overcompensates with unfitting pop culture references, and hardly knows the difference between a hook and a bank.

He wants to be cool. He’s not.

As morning radio host Rich Shertenlieb described last week, Mark Jones “sounds like when my dad used to put on a rock shirt and go ‘I’m cool, bro, right? Rock n’ roll!’”

“[Mark Jones] might be the worst,” Shertenlieb concluded.

There’s no might be here.

Mark Jones is obviously troubled. He’s a bigot. But he’s a below-average bigot. And ESPN demoted him for that.

Next, look for Jones to respond by sharing tweets calling his demotion racist. Surely, Mark Jones abhors Dave Pasch — not for taking his job, but for being white.