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Donald Trump Issues An Incredible Statement On His Hole-In-One

There are great moments in sports and then there’s President Donald Trump striping a 5-iron 181-yards into a “slight wind” and making a hole-in-one while playing a round with golf royalty. The even better part of this athletic accomplishment is when Mr. Trump’s office released a statement on the incredible golf shot.

The sports world needs more of this. I’d even like to call on Mr. Trump to provide us golf fans with statements on random rounds he’s played. We’re junkies. Yes, we want to hear about how other people played. Yes, we’ll look at the Grint app for hours comparing our games to our friends.

“Many people are asking, so I’ll give it to you now, it is 100% true,” Trump’s statement begins. “While playing with the legendary golfer, Ernie Els, winner of four Majors and approximately 72 other tournaments throughout the world, Gene Sauers, winner of the Senior U.S. Open, Ken Duke, and Mike Goodes, both excellent tour players, I made a hole-in-one.”

“It took place at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida on the 7th hole, which was playing 181-yards into a slight wind. I hit a 5-iron, which sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole,” Trump’s statement continues.

THIS is exactly the kind of content Mr. Trump needs to keep cranking out. This is exactly the type of content the blue checkmarks absolutely hate while those of us who actually enjoy sports, and guys talking sports, can’t get enough of.

“These great tour players noticed it before I did because their eyes are slightly better, but on that one hole only, their swings weren’t. Anyway, there’s a lot of chatter about it, quite exciting, and people everywhere seem to be asking for the facts,” Trump writes.

“Playing with that group of wonderful, talented players was a lot of fun. The match was Ernie and me (with no strokes) against Gene, Mike and Ken. I won’t tell you who won because I am a very modest individual, and you will then say I was bragging – and I don’t like people who brag!”

More of this, sir. GIVE IT TO US! This is like being at the 19th hole and listening to President Trump stay humble, but still proud of his incredible athletic achievement and skill.

In fact, now I need a 30-minute podcast — at least — on this round of golf. A Trump on Golf podcast should just become a regular thing. Make it happen, sir!

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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