DeSantis Announces Zero Mask Mandates For School Reopening Based On Data

Ron DeSantis: the Data Whisperer.

While a Texas Instrument can tell you that one plus two equals three — unless CNN catches Donald Trump repeating that bold statement — Florida governor Ron DeSantis has crunched the data from the past year, evaluated the effectiveness of mandates for people under his leadership, defied the media’s influence, and calculated a final answer: 0 masks for 100% of schools. Genius, if you ask us.

Florida’s Fibonacci, DeSantis himself, announced via Twitter that schools across Florida will be foregoing all school mask mandates based on a report that suggests “no correlations w/ mask mandates in schools & the transmission of COVID.” 

The news report shared by DeSantis also analyzed the following: “We find higher student COVID-19 rates in schools and districts with lower in-person density but no correlations in staff rates. Ventilation upgrades are correlated with lower rates in Florida but not in New York. We do not find any correlations with mask mandates."

DeSantis’ charge toward fully reopening schools as soon as humanly possible is the paragon of post-COVID calm. His evaluation of reports and confident assertions that mask mandates for children lack common sense help his constituents overcome any hesitation they might have to return to normalcy and also halt any potential long-term psychological effects that mask wearing has had on the development of young people for the past 16 months and counting.  

While the media would have you convinced that school programs and districts in heavily-funded Democratic states like New York or Los Angeles pay more attention to their teachers than Republican states, DeSantis once again defies the narrative and clears a promising path for himself in 2024.  

The governor announced that the state would provide $1,000 bonuses for its returning staff at a crucial time when teachers and their unions encourage online classrooms, despite firm evidence that the Zoom-style approach to school America has produced poor results. As reported by the Herald-Tribune, DeSantis announced the following while at an event at Sarasota School of Arts & Sciences: "Next school year is going to be a normal school year, and students are going to be back in the classroom." 

Another day, another reason to celebrate this great nation and this great land of ours.

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Alejandro Avila lives in Southern California and previously covered news for the LA Football Network. Jeopardy expert and grumpy sports fan. Known for having watched every movie and constant craving for dessert. @alejandroaveela (on X)