World's Sexiest Volleyballer Bakes Bikini Brownies, Angel-Caitlin Drama & Maggie Sajak Rolls Around In Money
Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where …
Wait! That's on me. My bad. I jumped the gun here, mainly because I'm just trying to get to the finish line as quick as possible today. To be honest, I don't really even know why.
I've talked all week about being off on vacation, but I haven't expounded any further. Anna Maria Island (AMI, as the locals say), which is a beautiful little spot on the west coast of my great, big, beautiful, free state of Florida.
Little beach town that's tucked away over by Bradenton where you pretty much just drive golf carts everywhere. Love those places. Allows you so much more leeway at the bar around 11 p.m. (allegedly, of course).
Anyway, we go every year with my wife's insanely giant family, which includes four other siblings, with four other toddlers. That's right. Do the math! One week, one house, two in-laws, eight brothers/sister in-laws, and five kids.
So, I ask you … is this really a vacation? Or am I gonna miss teaching this class by around noon on Monday? We'll see!
And, now … on that note, welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where Kayla Simmons bakes brownies in her underwear and gets us ready for a big Memorial Day weekend. Let's get AFTER it!
What else? We've got Maggie Sajak doing typical Maggie Sajak things during a HOF night on Wheel of Fortune, Angel Reese vs. Caitlin Clark in the WNBA, and I witnessed the worst call in the history of time last night in the White Sox/Orioles game.
I mean, what are we doing here?
OK, grab you a drink, put one of them fruity umbrellas in it, give it a stir and settle the hell in for a Final-Friday-Before-I'm-Gone-For-A-Week 'Cap!
This Angel Reese tweet may as well have come with a Sponsored by the WNBA disclaimer
I honestly can't believe we're still doing this in late-May, but give Angel Reese and Caitlin Clark credit … they're keeping our heads in the WNBA ballgame.
Both should be commended, by the way. Frankly, both should get a raise. Some businesses give raises after the first 90 days, right?
Anyway, Reese and the Sky beat New York last night – I guess, I don't know? – and then she decided to celebrate by firing shots at … Caitlin Clark? Odd.
Some people hate this stuff … I obviously love it. Live for it. Need it like I need air to breathe.
Also, I feel like we can just talk about this since Nightcaps has always been sort of the Wild Wild West on this site … can we please just admit that Caitlin Clark being white is a thing. Like, it's OK. I promise, it's OK.
That's not entirely why she's popular, of course, but it's a thing. A narrative. Right or not, it is, so let's just get it out in the open.
Side note: The media turning on Caitlin because she's a straight white girl is PEAK 2024. I mean, it's so on brand that it hurts.
I don't understand why this is so hard to talk about. It's just like when the Eagles took Cooper DeJean, and it was funny because he's a white cornerback in the NFL. We all just sort of nervously laughed and tried to skirt around it, but it's OK to point out the funny visual.
At the time, I think I likened it to spotting a unicorn out in the wild. Doesn't happen often, and it's OK to point it out.
Jason Sehorns don't just grow on trees, you know.
Anyway, the Caitlin Clark-Angel Reese rivalry is perfect for the WNBA. God, do they need it. Angel is super petty and runs her mouth. Caitlin is quiet, sort of hates the spotlight, but is also the bigger needle-mover of the two, so it drives Angel CRAZY.
It's Yin & Yang in every sense of the phrase, and I love it. Hell, I'm talking about the WNBA in Friday Nightcaps … on May 24th!
That's a win.
Let's cool off with Kayla Simmons in the kitchen
Whew. What a rant! Pretty deep stuff for a Friday class, which is usually just shenanigans. But sometimes, I need to get stuff off my chest.
Better yet, I'm gonna be gone for the next week, too! So I don't even have to deal with anyone I offend. Win-in!
Although, you're in Nightcaps class. You're here, reading this, which means you're probably a sane person who thinks like I do. So, I doubt anything I just said was news to you.
Anyway, that's enough with the deep stuff. It's the Friday of Memorial Day weekend, let's lighten the tension and bake some damn treats with the World's Sexiest Volleyballer, Kayla Simmons!
NHL Girl Anna Dua had a big night
Friday's are quickly becoming Kayla Fridays around here, because I feel like she carries this class at the end of every week.
But, she's also the World's Sexiest Volleyballer, so I expect nothing less. And an Elon Musk fan to boot! The whole package.
Thanks for stopping by, Kayla!
PS: anything better than a perfectly executed hot brownie fresh out of the oven? It's such a fine line between too gooey and too hard, but if you nail it, you're in for a real treat.
God, I love this country.
Moving on …
Big few nights for the NHL, and it continues tonight when my Florida Panthers once again stomp on the throats of annoying New York sports fans at MSG. Take it to the bank. Can't wait to come back to Sunrise up 2-0.
Anyway, all that to say NHL YouTube girl Anna Dua had a dominant start to the Western Conference Finals last night, and she went viral on Twitter as the game headed to double OT.
Can't imagine why!
Send this ump to the moon, solid night for Greg Hardy & emptying the bag before vacation
Welcome to class, NHL Anna! Good to see you carbo loading on Carb Day, too. Y'all know about Carb Day, right? It's the annual Friday-before-Indy gathering at the track that actually started decades ago as Carburetion Day. True story.
Used to actually be a serious day ahead of the Indy 500 that teams used as a last-gasp effort to tune the carburetors on their gasoline-powered cars. They stopped using them gas-guzzlers at Indy years ago, so the day is useless now, but officials ceremoniously kept it on the race week schedule and placed it on the Friday before the race each year.
See? We're not just all tomfoolery around here. How's THAT for some Friday afternoon education? You are welcome!
OK – rapid-fire time as we gear up for a mega weekend. First up? Major League Baseball is so screwed with these umps:
I LOVE this White Sox announcer just letting it all GO on these miserable umpires. Good for him. What a BS call from a bunch of BS losers. When they all lose their jobs to robots in a few years, clips like this will be played on loop in court proceedings.
Next? Remember Greg Hardy? The ex-NFLer? Well, he's back in the ring, and back to getting lit up like a Christmas tree!
My God. Night-night, Greg! What a lick. Those Samoans are built DIFFERENT. Greg didn't know what hit him and then it was too late. Whew.
Finally, since I won't see y'all for a week or so – although I will have a guest post sometime next week from the beach – I figured I might as well empty the tank on the way out.
And by that, I mean just scrolling through my bookmarks on Twitter to see what I didn't get to this week:
Wheel of Fortune Maggie Sajak takes us into the weekend
That's a SOLID list of Twitter likes, huh? Another winning week for the internet. Nice work, all.
The beer thing? That's a pretty spot-on list, if I'm being fair. The airport beer is absolutely No. 1, because, as you're drinking it, you know deep down in the dark spaces of your mind that it could be your last beer ever, so you really tend to enjoy those.
I'd put After Mowing Beer at No. 2 because it's a billion degrees in Florida and mowing this time of year usually means potential heat stroke, and Grilling Beer at No. 3.
As for the Wheel of Fortune one … I know y'all have all seen that clip a million times by now because it's been going mega-viral all day, but I'd be remiss if I didn't include it in class. Just an all-time moment. Again, this country is truly the best.
Happy Memorial Day, everyone. I'll pop in for a class next week while I'm trying to find some peace and quiet. Frankly, I'll probably be looking forward to it.
Otherwise, Amber will lead the way, along with a guest post from Matty Ice Matt Reigle, who is probably the funniest dude on staff. Be nice to him.
Take us home, Maggie Sajak.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Is Kayla Simmons the best baker this side of the Mississippi? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.