China’s Kung Fu Robots Stun Crowd, Then Bust Out Dorky Nunchuck Twist

One of my unofficial duties is to keep tabs on the current state of robot development, especially as it pertains to other world powers churning out some 'bots of their own.

On one hand, you've got countries like Russia that can't even build a robot that can walk out on stage without falling over like a drunk. On the other hand, we've seen some robots capable of kicking their creators in the crotch.

But a new batch of bots from China has me torn.

I'm not sure whether I should run for my life or give them swirlies like the dorks they are.

In addition to robot technology, China has really terrible TV. That's because, according to Daily Mail, the biggest program they have — which draws a reported billion sets of eyeballs — is something called "CCTV Spring Festival," which looks kind of like a lame variety show or telethon.

Seriously. See what happens when you leave it up to the government to produce your TV shows?

But robotics company Unitree sent some of their bots to appear on the show, and they pulled off some impressive kung fu feats, before pulling out history's dorkiest weapon, nunchucks.

First of all, I'm impressed by the kid who went out there with flailing robot limbs and nunchucks just feet away from him, and did it with a smile on his face like the government might take his family's house if he refuses.

…wait a second…

But while the kung fu and weird wall-running parkour moves had me nervously gulping like a Hanna-Barbera character, the nunchucks had me very comfortable with these bots not being much of a threat.

I don't know what makes someone good at nunchucks because it always looks like they're whipping them around all willy-nilly. Nunchucks are also the only weapon where, to use them, you have to repeatedly hit yourself in the lower back and thighs.

I consider that to be a design flaw.

Plus, every kid I ever knew who looked like Napoleon Dynamite was super into nunchucks.

Still, as lame as they are, we should all be a little anxious that people are putting weapons in the hands of robots.

Today it might be nunchucks, tomorrow it might be ninja stars (which are infinitely cooler than nunchucks).