The Top Pet Names Are Here, And A Lot Of You Are Terrible At Naming Dogs And Cats

Naming a pet is a big decision. People think that it says a lot about you, but, in reality, it's just what you're going to say when you need to get your pooch's attention.

Do you know what a dog name isn't? A vanity plate to let everyone know what you're into.

But, according to a new survey, people aren't realizing this.

Rover — the app you use so a stranger can come to your house and walk your dog so it doesn't rip a deuce on the couch while you're out seeing a movie — has compiled a list of the most popular pet names.

They did a better job on this survey than a lot of political pollsters do on theirs, and broke this thing down by region and into all kinds of categories. It's an interesting read.

Here are the top 10 names for male dogs.

1. Caesar
2. Mufasa
3. Oswald
4. Luther
5. Gibby
6. Knuckles
7. Dougie
8. Tobias
9. Caine
10. Coffee

Alright, so I'm not going to lie, the name Caesar is pretty badass. They could be like the Roman kind of Caesar, the salad kind of Caesar, or, my favorite, The Planet of the Apes kind of Caesar.

But after that, it's a bit rough…

Like Mufasa. That's a name from The Lion King… people do realize those are cats, right?

Knuckles? Why so aggressive? It sounds like your dog might try and kick your ass.

Tobias? Either you're big into Arrested Development or your dog is Amish.

Coffee? I guess everything is a dog name now.

The two are trying to figure out what they did to wind up with the names "Coffee" and "Jpeg." (Getty Images)

It's not all bad, though. Oswald is solid, so is Dougie. I was also thrilled to see — as a fan of the work of Jerry Reed — that the name Amos Moses is up 264 percent.

I can only assume the epicenter of that trend is located about 45 minutes southeast of Thibodaux, Louisiana.…

We can debate these names all day, but one thing that isn't up for debate is how bad the survey's "Trending Y2K cat names" are.

Go grab a coat because you're about to experience some douche chills, and this is only the top 5:

1. Amiga
2. Ozone
3. Jpeg
4. Bitcoin
5. Shego

I will concede that Ozone is kind of cool, but what monster is naming their pet Jpeg? You couldn't come up with anything better than a file extension?

"…And here we are with our cats, PDF and MP4. They're rescues…"

And unless you picked the name Bitcoin as part of some kind of sponsorship deal, that's insanity, too.

I don't know about you, but I hope this is a wake-up call, and next year we see a massive increase in Spikes, Spots, and Fidos.