For Those Keeping Score At Home, Megan Fox Is Still Alive & She's In A Thong ‘Because We Are Doomed’

Megan Fox goes viral in return to Instagram.

I'm not sure who keeps the official record of which celebrities are still with us and which celebrities have left us, but that's neither here nor there.

This is more for those scoring at home anyway. Megan Fox is still with us.

The 39-year-old ended her latest social media hiatus Tuesday afternoon with a few announcements. The first couple are that she's "still alive" and her "new pics just dropped."

The need for such an announcement was news to me. Were there Quentin Tarantino-like fake news reports that she had died? Not that I'm aware of and I couldn't find any either.

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It would appear as if Megan Fox is simply going viral on social media for checking in on Instagram in a thong after taking an extended break.

Which, I know, has been said before, but if you're going to end an extended break, doing so in a thong is as good of a way as any to do it.

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There's no mention of her possible death anywhere or speculation that she's been cloned, not yet. That takes us to the last of the announcements that she's delivering with this post.

She wrote, "everything is more beautiful because we are doomed."

What does Megan mean by that? She could be referencing a million different things here. I'm not about to try to pretend that I know what that is.

I'm not a mind reader and even if I was, she's a mother. The last thing I would be doing is using my power to read her mind or the mind of any other mother out there. It wouldn’t be right.

I will slide into her DMs and try to see if she can shed some light on it. It's the least I could do. What I don’t want is this probably deep metaphor being twisted into something it's not.

She's alive, she's definitely not a clone, and she's doing some sort of modeling photo shoot. That should be enough.

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Sean is a cubicle life escapee and proud member of OutKick's Culture Department. He enjoys long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, and puppies - only one of those things is true.