Daughter Tossed In Jail After Tossing Pork Chop At...Her Mom
Don't toss the swine if you can't do the time.
Teenagers and parents are constantly fighting with each other. It’s just what they do. And if they aren’t squabbling, it’s probably because the teen moved out of the house.
Well, in the case of one 18-year-old Floridian, she was involuntarily moved out of the house after battering her mother with… a pork chop.
Per a probable cause affidavit, Cynthia Ann Kernan stated that she had been in a verbal dispute with her daughter, 18-year-old Farrah Kernan, who had been "drinking alcohol earlier in the day."
This is unbelievable! Yeah, I thought Gen Z’ers didn’t drink hooch anymore. Usually, they’re just smoking the devil’s lettuce (known to the layperson as marijuana), which simply leads to consuming pork chops. But that obviously wasn’t the case here.
The affidavit then notes that, after smacking her mother with her right hand, Farrah "also threw a pork chop at her."
That’s right, normally a delicious dinner accompanied by spinach and potatoes, or maybe roasted root vegetables, if you’re a masochist. This particular chop was turned into a WEAPON.
The police noted that they "observed food residue on Cynthia’s left shoulder," which is about as damning as evidence can be. I mean, how else would pork juice end up there? I don’t care how messy an eater you are, getting stains on your shoulder is almost completely impossible.
Farrah eventually became hysterical, as she was, "Emotionally upset, began screaming and crying, and continued to act uncooperatively." Um, I’m sorry, but the only person who should’ve been this upset was Farrah’s mom! Imagine getting pelted with pig? By your own daughter?! I mean, the straight-up disrespect is astounding.
Not to mention, once that pork hit the floor it was probably done for. You just know this snot-nosed brat isn’t doing any chores, so that floor was probably dirtier than the jail cell this little creep wound up spending some time in.
Farrah was indeed placed under arrest for Domestic Battery and transported to the Martin County Jail, where she wasn’t so much throwing the food as she was probably THROWING UP the food. Have you ever seen the eats in jail? It isn’t pretty, people!
Hopefully, she learned her lesson after this fiasco. And that lesson is: if you’re going to consume some swill, don’t start tossing swine.