Will Smith Has A New Music Video, And Boy Is It Something

You know, I often find myself asking the age-old question, "I wonder what Will Smith is up to these days?"

Okay, that's a lie, but in case you are curious, the Fresh Prince himself just dropped a brand-new song called "Pretty Girls," complete with an accompanying music video.

Feast your eyes on this monstrosity.

All you giantess fetishists out there may want to put on some baggier pants. For the rest of us normal people, though, we have a lot to unpack here, so let's dive in.

We can start with the aforementioned "giant female, tiny Will" plot line taking place.

I'm not sure if I understand the angle Smith was going for with this one, but one of my favorite music videos involves dudes in makeup shooting pentagrams out of their guitars to ensnare feral women, so I will abstain from throwing stones in my hair-metal-themed glass house.

Also, I know the theme of the song is that he is a fan of all types of women and doesn't discriminate, but isn't Will Smith a married man in his mid-50s? 

I felt like I had to ask just because he and Jada Pinkett really don't act like they even tolerate each other, but regardless, a 56-year-old with a wife and kids rapping about how he likes pretty "girls" is a little bizarre.

Lyrically, this isn't Big Willy's best work either.

Some of my "favorite" lines include, "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, lemon, alright, f*** it, I like women," and "Head, shoulders, knees, toes, hold up, wait, pose," after already using the word "pose" just two lines beforehand.

Some truly inspirational stuff.

But, of course, I have the musical taste of a 65-year-old dad, so maybe I'm way off on this one.

What do some of the youngsters on X think about "Pretty Girls?"

Yep, just as I thought. I am incredibly out of touch with the "scene."

In all seriousness, it's just nice to see Smith having some fun. He's had a rough couple of years ever since Jada publicly cucked him.

I'll stop right there, though. I don't want to have my face rearranged "Chris Rock-style."

Now wheel me back to my room at the nursing home so I can enjoy some of that ’90s Will Smith clean rap.