Should Men Clean The Toilet Seat After Taking A Leak At Gas Stations?

Welcome back to another edition of The Gripe Report; you’re home for all the complaints your spouse or significant other is sick and tired of hearing.

Before we get down to our bitchin’ business, we’ve got a bit of housekeeping to tend to.

We now have some brand-spankin’ new, official Gripe Report social media accounts — no, destinations.

You can now follow and more importantly, send in your Gripes on Instagram and X!

And, you know what, while we’re at it, let’s go for the hat trick; we’re on Facebook too.

Feel free to send in your gripes, but if you prefer email, that’s still an option too!

Got a gripe? Send it in!: matthew.reigle@outkick.com

I look forward to seeing you over on social media, but enough of that; we’ve got some griping to do.

As is tradition, I’m going to bat lead-off this week…

Recently, I found myself driving to the grocery store. To enter the store, there’s a left turn lane into the parking lot, and that’s where I was when all of a sudden I heard two sharp blasts of a horn.

Now, I’m not afraid to drop a honk, but I’ll admit, I’m not great when I’m on the receiving end of a honk. My default reaction is rage, then I quickly replay the game film in my head.

If I realize I did something wrong, I give a mea culpa wave.

If I realize I didn’t do anything wrong I keep on cruising along Rage Avenue.

In this instance, I realized I had done nothing except flip on my turn signal and drift into the turn lane. Why would anyone honk at that, especially when they see how handsome the guy behind the 2022 Kia Forte is?

But I quickly realized that I had been had.

Do you remember that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry gets fooled by an AAMCO commercial?

Yup…

It wasn’t an AAMCO commercial, but considering that episode of Curb is from 2000 — 25 years before my incident — there should be no car horns in commercials.

I think it’s a health hazard. The level of rage I felt momentarily probably took a couple of hours off of my life.

I thought there was a rule against playing sirens on the radio— for obvious reasons — so why not just expand that to no car horns?

Also, on a semi-related note: let's take a break with dogs in TV commercials.

Yes, we all love dogs, but I'm getting pretty sick of having to change the channel for every other commercial because my French bulldog, Carl (Hi, Carl! Whoosa good boy?! Whoosa good boy?!) flips out every single time.

Maybe the rule should be that only commercials for products for dogs should have them in there. There's no reason for one of those services where you poop in a box and mail it to a laboratory to have a dog in the commercial.

Alright, let's get things rolling with a hoops gripe…

Derik Queen of the Maryland Terrapins models the kind of long-sleeve undershirt that drives OutKick's own Anthony Farris crazy. (Photo by G Fiume/Getty Images)

Basketball Players With Long Sleeves

OutKick's own Anthony Farris has a gripe this week, one that I think is timely given that the NCAA Tournament is on the horizon:

Basketball players in long sleeves. It looks ridiculous and I assume it feels ridiculous too. Long sleeves were not meant for the basketball court, but it's becoming increasingly common. A lot of female players wear long sleeves - and I hate that too - but at least, they're generally tight compression shirts. All long sleeves are indefensibly terrible, but baggy long sleeves with loose wrists are the worst of the worst.

…

This does look incredibly goofy, and I have no clue what kind of competitive advantage this could possibly give you.

We're not talking compression shirts like Anthony mentioned. Those I believe can help with circulation meaning there's an actual reason for them.

No, we're talking regular, loose, floppy undershirts.

They don't make sense. I don't think any player has ever said, "You know what? My range of motion is just too big, I need to pop a long-sleeve shirt on to reel that in a little bit."

Also, doesn't this seem like you're just inviting on-court chirps? I feel like if I was playing hoops, I would zero in on the dude with the loose long sleeves and I would just make his night a living hell.

It's not like arenas and gymnasiums are kept Arctic cold like David Letterman's studio, and even if they were, any exercising would get you nice and warmed up.

Make it make sense!

Now, the only olive branch I'll give to the long-sleeve undershirt is that if I was "hooping" as the kids say, I'd probably be one of them.

Not because of the cold or anything, I just wouldn't want to frighten spectators with my pythons.

*Kisses biceps*

The breakaway sweatpants may be the most practical and wildly-impractical piece of clothing ever developed. (Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images)

Breakaway Pants

While we're on the topic of basketball attire, can we take a moment to discuss something I've been thinking about lately?

Of course we can: are those breakaway pants that button up the sides the most ridiculous piece of clothing on the planet?

I think so. I understand their application in sports, but only an insane person would wear them in normal life. It's not like the buttons lock. It just takes one snag on a kitchen drawer and next thing you know you're standing there pantsless.

This seems dangerous. I mean, good luck talking your way out of it if your breakaway pants get snagged on a bush while you're walking by a playground.

Sure, there's something cool about doing that tearaway move before hitting the court or throwing down a personal record in the 100m dash, but do you know what we never get to see? The aftermath of snapping the pants back together.

What a pain in the ass, and I promise you, you will always get to the final button and realize that all of them are off by one and you have to start over.

 Traditional non-tear-away pants are not broken; let's just stick with those.

The last thing you want to do is rip a deuce in a public restroom, so you certainly don't want to make that situation even worse by having to sop some other gentleman's pee before you get to work. (Getty Images)

People Who Refuse To Wipe Toilet Seat 

Since we had a gripe from Anthony, let's keep it in-house this week and hear from OutKick's resident Boston Bruins fan John Simmons who has a gripe I think we can all agree with:

Men, if you have to pee in a public stall, make sure you wipe any pee off the seat. I don’t want to have to wipe up your pee if I need to drop a deuce.

…

It's wild that this needs to be addressed, but where we are: John is bang on the money.

I get public restrooms are kind of the Wild West, but if ever we needed to take a second to consider about our fellow man, it's in the bathroom.

No one ever plans about having to drop trow in a public restroom. It's always an emergency situation because you mistimed your coffee intake or the breakfast burrito you snagged at the gas station just isn't sitting right with you.

No one says, "Oh, boy!" like Larry Fine when they realize that their only option is to let 'er rip at Target.

So, the last thing you want to do is sop up some dude's pee with a couple of sheets of single-ply Scott's before you can sit down and get down to business.

I understand that sometimes things get away from you especially if you're trying to airmail a bladder's worth of beer into a stall toilet, but have a little self-respect and wipe up after your mishaps.

If we all take two seconds to do that, our bathrooms will be a better, cleaner place… not like Buc-ee's clean, but maybe if we try hard we can get to the level of a well-maintained Arby's restroom.

…

That's it for this week! Be sure to follow The Gripe Report on all your favorite social media accounts (not Bluesky though; that's on one's favorite) and be sure to email all gripes you may have for a future edition of this here column: matthew.reigle@outkick.com

We'll reconvene back here next Tuesday; same time, same place!