Seattle Elementary School's Woke 'Racial Equity Team' Cancels Halloween

After a long five-year discussion over the annual Pumpkin Parade at Benjamin Franklin Day Elementary School in Seattle the decision has been made by the Racial Equity Team to pull the plug on the Halloween tradition of dressing up in costumes and having some fun.

Why? The Racial Equity Team says the Pumpkin Parade "marginalizes students of color who do not celebrate the holiday," according to Fox News.

"There are numerous community and neighborhood events where students and families who wish to can celebrate Halloween," a Seattle Public Schools spokeswoman told KTTH Radio talk show host Jason Rantz. "Historically, the Pumpkin Parade marginalizes students of color who do not celebrate the holiday. Specifically, these students have requested to be isolated on campus while the event took place.

"In alliance with SPS’s unwavering commitment to students of color, specifically African American males, the staff is committed to supplanting the Pumpkin Parade with more inclusive and educational opportunities during the school day," the spokeswoman added.

The War on Halloween isn't new. In 2019, wearing costumes and having some Halloween fun was canceled in the affluent Chicago suburb of Evanston where the lack of "equity" was cited as the main factor.

In Seattle, there will be new traditions for the elementary kids. Students will now enjoy fall events such as "thematic units of study about the fall" and "autumnal artwork," according to a newsletter that went out to parents.

Let's stop and think about this for a minute and think of a better solution than what these equity teams come up with in the name of canceling the fun for the masses to keep a small minority appeased.

Here's the Joe Kinsey solution to this madness:

• Ok, so in the past, the school has told the kids who don't want to take part in the parade or can't afford a costume to head to the library and sit there; we're going to change that, hang tight

• The school continues to hold the Pumpkin Parade, kids wear their costumes and have fun

• The school holds an Awesome Autumnal Blowout Bash or throw 'Equity' into the headlines for the kids who feel marginalized; give it a title so the Racial Equity Team is fine and dandy with it

• The school Parent/Teacher Association coughs up like $200 and orders up a bunch of pizza, organic apple juice, or whatever they'll allow the kids to drink these days and the marginalized kids go to the gym and have a bash. They don't have to worry about wearing a costume. Want to play tape the autumnal leaf to the tree? Go for it.

• Hey kids, do you want to do the Pumpkin Parade or the Awesome Autumnal Equity Blowout Bash?

We're going to make this simple: pick one

• Boom, kids are having a slice of fun for an hour at school

Yeah, but what happens when a group of parents gets mad because their kids are vegan, etc., etc., etc.?

Herein lies the problem with the madness of pain in the ass equity teams and parents who are purposely complete idiots who can't possibly sit back with their feet kicked up and relax. It's unclear when the pain the ass pandemic started, but it most likely can be traced to the beginning of social media.

Yeah, but this is just segregating students...this is horrible and this should be about inclusion!

You know what's really horrible? Telling elementary kids they're not getting either of these options because their parents are morons.

Now we're left with school children being told to go home and do their Halloween stuff with their broken families who are complete disasters. Imagine what home life looks like for marginalized students. Parents are on their damn phones, playing video games, cussing at each other -- if the other parent is there at all. It doesn't take a genius to realize school is the only safe space some of these kids have.

Yet the schools continue to get out of the 30-minutes of fun game more and more each year. Not their job, they say. Equity. Marginalized. Pick a keyword.

Suck the fun right out of society and you get a society that is completely angry, lacking creative energy, and ready to fight each other every second of every day. Then the kids grow up and fall right into the trap.

Good work Seattle. You really saved society with this decision.