Scientists Trying To Bring Back Wooly Mammoth Start Small With Wooly Mouse

I feel like for my entire life, scientists have been saying that they're on the verge of bringing back wooly mammoths.

Sure, that's playing God just a little bit, but I always thought it'd be cool to see the finished product, and I figure at this point if they're rebooting Matlock with a *Jerry Lewis voice* LAAAADYYY anything can be brought back from the dead.

However, much of this mammoth talk has been nothing but bluster with little to show for it. It's a lot of talk and not a lot of cranking out wooly mammoths.

But we've got a breakthrough!

It's not a wooly mammoth, but it's a start.

…I think that mouse just forgot to shave.

Look, I like science but I feel like all it does is let me down. It's 2025. By now I should be hopping in a flying car a la George Jetson and whizzing off to feed my wooly mammoth (I live in a townhouse so I'd have to keep him on some kind of farm).

Nope, I'm here whipping around in my very nice 2022 Kia Forte and pretending to be impressed by a mouse that needs a haircut.

According to CBS News, biotech company Colossal Biosciences edited seven genes in mice and arrived at these mice with salad so luscious I can't believe they're not playing in the Minnesota high school hockey tournament right now.   

That sounds like a lot of work though. I don't mean to be that guy, but I feel like if you gave me a mouse and a bottle of Rogaine, I could achieve some very similar results.

The idea of bringing back beasts of the past — not just giving mice some serious flow; I think we can all get on board with that — is a controversial one. Some people don't think it's ethical, and that's fair, but I better not see them in line while I'm waiting to see the giant ground sloths when these prehistoric creatures hit America's zoos at some point.