Saquon Barkley: The NFL Drug Tested Me While I Took A Dump

I didn't have Saquon Barkley telling a story about taking a NFL drug test dump on my Super Bowl BINGO card, but here we are and content is content in 2025. We're going to embrace it, even if it's two guys about to play in the Super Bowl talking about dropping deuces. 

On today's edition of the "Big Play Slay" podcast with host Darius Slay Jr., Barkley and his teammate got on the topic of drug tests and the craziest moments they've encountered from Roger Goodell's goon drug testing unit. 

Saquon didn't disappoint. 

"Craziest one I've ever had was in New York. I couldn't pee," Barkley began. "But I had to s--t."

"And they were waiting for me. And you know, naturally, when you go to the bathroom, a little piss come out, so I was able to get it. I'm like, c'mon."

Yes, a guy had to sit there and watch Barkley take a post-game dump while also draining the main vein.

If you think that story is crazy, Slay shared one where he was drug tested after a game in Dallas and the Goodell goon squad guy SPILLED "my s--t," Slay remembered.

It wasn't actually the urine that Slay had produced. You get the picture. 

"And told me I had to come back in the morning in Philly because I couldn't piss no more," the Eagles defensive back added. 

After all this effort from the Goodell Drug Test Goon Squad, they've never busted Slay or Barkley.

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Saquon has been drug tested ‘too many’ times

After an October performance where he had 176 yards against the lowly Giants, Barkley faced the goon squad. 

The results? 

Negative. 

The guy is just a great running back in a league where GMs gave up on the position. Test all you want, Goon Squad. The guy is clean.