Salma Hayek Activates Summer On A Boat, Phil Mickelson Transforms Into Hollywood Hogan & New Taco Bell Looks Like A Bank

PublishedJune 8, 2022 5:48 PM EDT|UpdatedJune 8, 2022 5:48 PM EDT

It's a broken record at this point

Last night marked a first in my life — I put $5.099 gas in our car. It was rather interesting putting $40 in the tank and taking a quick drive around town while the little gas devil in my brain was laughing at me burning that $5 fuel.

Here all I want to do is drive, listen to some music, and see what the neighborhood dogs are up to. Then, this morning, I wake up to see that the national average inched up overnight and now sits at $4.955. I'm really starting to think about cutting back on my get-away-from-the-computer drives.

Thanks, Biden.

Speaking of money, I found this chart rather interesting and thinking about making a little money on the side. I should be able to qualify for that $575 per hour expert witness rate for an 'Internet' expert. Put me on the stand for two hours, pay my expenses and I'll be at that case you're trying.

Just hit me up and let's make a deal!

And the other thing on my mind this morning is the new Taco Bell test location opening in Brooklyn Park, Minnesota.

I need one of you to go through that new Taco Bell and give me a report on the experience. As I've written about the new 'Defy' Taco Bell, the fun of pissing off your Uber driver at 2 a.m. with a Taco Bell run so you can mess with the drive-thru workers is officially over when Bell starts erecting these banks in your neighborhood.

College baseball is boiling

• Chris B. in Houston, who has spent years around the sport, writes on the rise of NWO college baseball:

You are right about emotions boiling up over college baseball. I am mostly for the 'lets the kids play' mantra, as to grow & prosper the game needs to be more fun and not so over done with unwritten rules. Bat flips are here to stay, but yelling F#@! You at the other team and certainly flipping the bird should not be tolerated. I don't know what the appropriate discipline would be, but there needs to be something to reign that crap in. Maybe we are on a path to eventually fine the players - ha! I don't know. But while I am in favor of letting the kids play, it's also important to keep it classy.

On a torn-up yard

• Mark V. writes:

Joe,

I’ve always loved this one…tried to always keep it in mind when we still had boys at home.

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass.” “We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply. “We’re raising boys.” —Harmon Killebrew MLB HOF (1936-2011).

The bird and baseball

• Rory M. writes:

In my last year of HS baseball, we were visiting at a regional rival's field. I grew up with the starting CF on their team & he used to be my HS teammate before transferring, so there was some emotion from both sides. Players & parents knew each other.

This kid in their stands spent the entire game getting way out of line with our entire team. It was bad enough the coaches & umpires should have stepped in, but didn't.

I came up, drove a warning track fly to RF and as he blurted out obscenities threw up a RH bird while trotting down the 1B path. My coach pulled me from one of my last ever games playing competitively and it wasn't a pretty site.

After the game the opposing parents who knew me went out of their way to let me know they knew I wasn't directing it at them & that the adults should have taken responsibility for letting it get to that point.

That said, Galen is right. That UT player will remember that forever & will have to live with it.

You guys are so smart

• Britt T. writes about the Clay umpire ordeal:

This umpire deal is so smart in so many ways in terms of the way you guys have covered it. Watching the 360 interview now. A million folks watched, amazing. Makes Clay a regular dude to his readers, like you and me. Thanks, Joe.

I was just here to compile the umpire responses. I'll agree, the editorial team handled it well. We went full fair and balanced and had the haters twisted into a pretzel because I sat here and allowed them the space to vent. Clearly, the haters were prepared to crush OutKick and say we're just here to protect Clay because Clay is the founder -- before he sold it to Fox News Corp. and got filthy rich -- but that wasn't the case at all and it caused all sorts of mental gymnastics.

All in all, Clay vs. the umpire was a success.

Well 'poop'

• Beau in Toledo writes:

Yeah,"well, poop"is not a good way to start an email, whether you're a Proud TNML Member or a guy who played a pirate and was married to a hot mess actress(swidt?).

(Does that qualify as a Dad Joke, even if I'm not a Dad??} The @stihlusa trimmer lost power and laid down on me the other day while I was clearing the creek bank of tall grass. Thought at first it could have been the flexible drive shaft seizing, but that wasn't it.

Busted out the can of @Gumout and went to work today, but after looking at that 4 yr old @NGK_Perfrmance sparkplug, i know i have a trip to #JanneysAceHardware in my future. Hell, I might even run to Construction equipment Toledo, OH - Howard T Moriarty Co. and get a new one while the other one is being rebuilt, if Tim Janney (great guy, btw...) doesn't have the one I want in stock.

(Yes, i will admit this failure could be a result of the lead additive in the aircraft fuel i use... a slice of sandpaper cleaned the plug enough to fire it, but it ran like Heard {oops, i did it again} )
Whussupp, BritBrit!!

All that and a funeral showing on Thursday has my League Day in jeopardy, but I hope that You, THE Commissioner of #TNML, won't punish me too harshly for missing #ThatDay. (Side Note: the mosquito spraying truck just rolled by... I use Mosquito Dunks® - Summit® Responsible Solutions (summitchemical.com) in my rain barrels; I also lay a piece of landscaping weed barrier cloth over the top of the rain barrels, adding to both filtering the water and keeping skeeters out... just saying")

SideStep 1: NEW SEGMENT IDEA: HOMETOWN PICS We've all heard from so many League and 'Cap members from all over... Your yards and patios are spectacular! Yes, even the ones ridden hard by kids and dogs, which in my redneck opinion, is a clear sign that Yer Doin' Sumthin', Right! Living Life is something to be Cherished.

What I think would be cool is a regular everyday pic of something unique from Your HomeTown. The pic I threw in is a Lake Freighter being tugged thru the raised Cherry Street Bridge with the Veterans Memorial Bridge in the background. Took that from the Swan Creek(Maumee River Branch) Bridge on the Owens-Illinois Loop.

Courtesy of Beau in Toledo®

Not really remarkable, just thought it was a cool pic. Send Us Pics!! (The smaller the town, the better the Pic!) With Joe'Bama's gas prices, pics of This Great Nation without spending thousands to get there are appreciated!

SideStep 2: You mentioned Sports Events to Travel To in past articles, gas prices be damned. I noticed that You added kart racing kart pics from some of the @Bringatrailer posts you've made... may i suggest New Castle Mot orsports Park / New Castle Raceway / Kart Racing Track, East of Indianapolis, IN and Fremont Raceway Park to your list?

My neighbor hauls ass on Vintage Karts at these 2 Tracks... basically chainsaw motors running on alcohol... the twin motor rig he runs will hit 95mph+ on the long straights at New Castle... 2 inches off the pavement... and something tells me The Intimidator would be all in!

SideStep 2.1: The 3-Wall HandBall Tourney, right around the corner from You, at the Rec Center n Maumee. 70th USHA National Three-Wall Championships- Daily Recaps – US HANDBALL (that was last year's tourney). Every Year during Labor Day Weekend... the first year I went, I met the Irish and Australian Teams... yeah, they flew overseas... my liver still hates me, and the Garbage Can Football Tourney(unofficial), is still a cherished memory! (can you toss a football into a garbage barrel at around 30 yards after pounding draft DaddyPops all day?!?)

They're re-dedicating the park this year, to Honor past Brethren who've supported this tourney... taking Mrs. Beau Dirt, since Her Dad and Brother, who have since passed, were and are integral to the #3Wall.

If You Show, i'll buy Your beer.

Let's Finish This Week Strong!

Now THAT is an email out of Beau.

Two things: I love the idea of photos of something unique from your hometown. I highly encourage it. I beg for material like that. I love when the readers show me the world through their eyes. For example, my buddy hockey player Cody Lampl is over in Europe enjoying the summer and he happened upon a McDonald's in Slovenia that has started using the robot servers I saw in action at the Chicago restaurant expo.

This is what Screencaps is all about. We clear out the typical social media sludge to show you guys stuff that you actually care about. Keep it up!

The second item that stood out from Beau's email has to be the three-wall handball tournament. I've driven by those courts hundreds of times and had no idea there's a world tournament held there. Labor Day weekend is always busy for me, but I might have to squeeze out an hour to go check out the competition, especially if people are going to fly in from around the world to play in a Maumee, OH park.

I need help tracking down a former Vol baseball player

• An emailer wrote to Clay saying how OutKick needs to tell the story of the 2005 Super Regionals when Vols right fielder Rob Fitzgerald beat Georgia Tech with a home run, but the emailer says the real story is how Rob had to deal with the antics of the Tech students who rigged up a speaker and microphone to heckle Rob only to have Rob rip out their hearts in Game 1.

So, if anyone knows Rob, let him know we would like to tell the full story of Game 1. Have him email me: joekinsey@gmail.com

Paducah Shuffleboard Club issues a challenge

• Gregg F. writes:

Big fan of Screencaps. Started listening to Clay on morning radio a few years ago and switched Outkick.com to my homepage and life has been good ever since. Many years ago I was looking to purchase a shuffleboard for my basement.

My neighbor and I decided we could just build one instead. 7 years later, we have built quite a few now and started a Shuffleboard League. We played October through March and finished this year with a huge end-of-the-year tournament that coincided with the Friday of the 1st round of the NCAA tournament. There is already a lot of excitement and trash talk leading up to Season 2 this Fall.

I'm a big fan of the TNML in the summer, but the shuffleboard league is a good alternative in the long winter months. Anyhow, we get pretty tired of playing against each other and would love for a group from Ohio to come to our neighborhood sometime and play against us.

My brother-in-law lives in Columbus and I've been trying to get him to start a Columbus Shuffleboard Club to rival ours in Paducah, Ky. Here are a few photos of some of our boards we play on. They all have their own unique play and gives the team with the home board a slight advantage.

Listen, Gregg, the extent of my shuffleboard playing comes annually on my northern Michigan canoe trip AFTER spending eight hours on the river and consuming a bunch of Jell-0 shots that leave me a complete mess on the shuffleboard that's back at the cabin. You're definitely asking the wrong man to come up with opponents for the Paducah Shuffleboard Club to beat up on.

However, I'm willing to connect any shuffleboard teams that would like to take Gregg's challenge to head down to Kentucky for a match.

Based on Paducah's location, Gregg would probably be up for shuffleboard teams out of Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Tennessee and Arkansas to step up.

Let me know. I'll connect you with these guys. Something tells me it's a good time when the Paducah shuffleboard crew gets together. I base that completely on how these shuffleboards look. I can smell smoked chicken wings and high-quality beer from here.

Northern Michigan or the UP?

• Gerard writes:

When you go to Northern Michigan are you going to the U P (Upper Peninsula)? That is what we call it here in Northern Illinois when we go snowmobile or UTV riding.

I explained to Gerard where we go golfing in Gaylord, MI is part of northern Michigan, according to how I was raised in southwestern Ohio. The UP is the UP. It's also common here for people to say north of the bridge -- Mackinac Bridge.

And you'll hear people say 'Up North' which many say starts when you cross over the Saginaw River Zilwaukee bridge on I-75. It's like a light switch going off. I believe the speed limit goes to 75 approximately 10 miles north of that bridge and the massive Dodge Rams start doing 90 or more. It's just truck after truck hauling ass up to their fishing/hunting/snowmobiling cabin and random guys like me and my friends going to hide in the woods to hit golf balls.

On crawfish

• Mike T. in Eagle, Idaho writes:

Cindy T has family in New Orleans, we visit every couple of years. Nothing like a crawfish boil and some cold beer!