RFK Jr. Being A Duck Quack Ringtone Guy Has Left Me Stunned

We learned something startling about Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., and it has nothing to do with his wellness routine or that time he chucked a dead bear in Central Park as a goof.

Instead, it has everything to do with his choice of ringtone.

The Trump Administration unveiled a new food pyramid Wednesday. By my count, this is at least the third, maybe fourth, food pyramid in my 30, very handsome years on this planet. The first one was completely upside down, the next one didn't make any sense, and then this one is like the first one, but flipped around a little bit.

Do we need this? All I'm saying is that if you don't know whether it's better to snack on a cake or a handful of almonds, no poster on Earth will help you solve that dilemma.

Anyway, what we really need to talk about is what happened during the unveiling. Secretary Kennedy's phone rang. That's always a little embarrassing, but he's a busy guy, so I let it slide.

But what stunned me is that his ringtone is a duck quacking.

First of all, hats off to Sec. Brooke Rollins for that "Duck is also high in protein" line. That was fast.

But it doesn't cover up the shocking fact that RFK Jr. decided the sound he wants to hear whenever he gets a text is a duck quacking.

I thought that as a society, we were past novelty ringtones. It was something we experimented with for a few crazy, drunken college years in the 2000s, and then we said, 'Let's be adults here and just stick with the basics.'

Honestly, I can't remember what my text ringtone is. I think it's just a single bell, but my phone is on vibrate 99.99% of the time.

I think this bugs me because someone like RFK Jr. is getting very important texts. I just don't like the idea of a text reading "Maduro captured, no US casualties" being signaled with a loud "QUAAAACK."

Call me old-fashioned, but that's how I see it.