Portland Protest Gets Spicy When Frog Costume Can’t Block Pepper Spray
Gotta keep an eye on those air-intake vents, bro...
I hope you're sitting down for this, but people in Portland have been protesting something.
I know, I was shocked too. You'd think a city known for hippies, hipsters, and general "weirdness" would be a little more chill, but nope.
Not when there are ICE agents doing their jobs. That’s protest-worthy, apparently.
And that's what one group of alleged Antifa protesters was doing on Thursday outside of an ICE facility in Portland, per Reuters.
Because this is Portland — which, from what I can tell, having admittedly never been there, is like if a circus freakshow were given town charter — one of the protesters was wearing an inflatable frog costume.
Why? Hell if I know. I find life is better if you don't spend it trying to get inside the mind of lunatics.
At one point, authorities tried to disperse the crowd of protesters — including Frogger — and they didn't seem to be budging.
So, out came the pepper spray.
Now, I don't know if you've ever spoken to anyone in law enforcement about their training. Sometimes they have to get pepper-sprayed or tasered so they understand what it is they're dishing out. Occasionally, they get to choose one, and from what I've heard, you want the taser because when it's over, it's over. The pepper spray is a drawn-out experience.
And, it turns out that inflatable frog costumes are not impervious to pepper spray, especially when the person administering it knows where the costume's air-intake vent is.
When you've got that vent in the back of your frog costume, you've got to protect yourself.
For someone who I'm sure has been to quite a few protests in their day, just a hunch — that was a rookie mistake.
All the other Antifa people will probably give him a good joshing about this next time he goes to their hangout spot, which I'm assuming is one of their mom's houses.
Which probably isn't a bad thing, because she can help them scrub that inflatable costume clean so it's ready for the next time they feel the need to cause a scene.