Paige VanZant Dumps Out Christmas Content, Multiple Disgusting Fights At The Cowboys Game & A 1995 Honda Accord For $24,000
Well, how would you rate that Sunday from the NFL?
I'll give it an 8.
That was an above-average Sunday and it helps when your quarterback plays like the NFL MVP, then goes down with what appears to be a dislocated thumb only to have it turn out to be a thumb cramp.
I've watched a ton of football in my life -- not nearly as much as some of you Boomers -- and I've never heard of a quarterback going down with a thumb cramp. Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions.
But, here we are with MY Bengals right back into the playoff hunt along with 90% of the AFC at 7-6. That might be an exaggeration, but let's go with it.
Just stop and think of the storylines that are playing out right now in the NFL. I know some of you hate the NFL, will always hate the NFL and wish I wouldn't write about the NFL. Today's not for you.
• Mr. Irrelevant and the 49ers are your odds-on favorite to win the Super Bowl. Rate this pass. Brock Purdy is making $870,000 this season.
• Meanwhile, in K.C., we have the Karens flipping out on the refs and feeling all sorts of pressure now that they face the possibility of 1.) Having to play on Wild Card Weekend, and 2.) Facing the possibility of having to play a road playoff game. OMG, talk about pressure! It's building.
• Dak Prescott has a baby on the way and is playing like the odds-on favorite to win MVP. Oh, look at that, he's the favorite right now.
• It pains me to say it, but Joe Flacco and the Browns could win the AFC title. I know that sounds absolutely insane to write, but the AFC race is wide open and there's not a team out there that wants to face that defense in January. Plus, the Browns can run the ball. The sad part about Sunday's game in Cleveland was that there were hundreds of tickets available for $9 to see that win over the Jags.
• Jay Feely is a smug asshole. There, I said it. How many times did he speak over James Lofton during that Colts-Bengals game and come off like some sort of expert of all aspects of the game. The guy kicked field goals for a living. Lofton is in the hall of fame. You wouldn't know it from how Feely talked to Lofton for four hours.
• He has a point.
• I love YouTubeTV multiview combined with the NFL Ticket, but why can't I pick the multiview from an á la carte menu? For some games, I'm only being given one multiview option. We need to fix that, YouTube. I need the ability to program these TVs for maximum viewing pleasure.
• Don't forget, this week we get Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday NFL games and bowl games. Thank you, Football Gods. We're talking SEVEN bowl games, three NFL games, probably 800 college basketball games on Saturday. Clear the schedule. Throw a party.
• ANNDDDDD...you get North Dakota State-Montana at 4:30 ET Saturday.
Christmas light analysis: Colors vs. white lights
• Andrew F. in Pittsburgh writes:
Got a question for the masses. Growing up in SW Virginia, the best way to tell the haves from the have-nots was the color of their Christmas lights.
Those with means always seemed to have white lights and those of us on the other side of the tracks tended to have multi-colored lights. Even though I’ve done pretty well for myself as an adult, I still always use multi-colored lights (the tackier, the better).
My wife, from Western PA, liked white lights better and her parents, who worked in higher education until they retired, have white lights on everything, seemingly proving that it may be an Appalachian trait.
I am curious as to whether anyone else has ever noticed this or what their logic is behind which lights they prefer. Keep up the good work.
Kinsey:
Here at the Screencaps HQ, we used to do white lights before we had kids. It was probably due to yuppie suburban influence. Then, once the kids came along, we moved to multi-colored lights with a single lollipop tree still using the white lights that haven't burnt out.
The multi-colored lights are growing on me.
Now, there's zero doubt that the elites of the world love the white lights. The classiness of the white lights. The simplicity. The elegance. Just last night, we drove down elite River Road here in Perrysburg, OH and there wasn't a single home on the Maumee River side of the road that had multi-colored lights. If there was color, it's a solid color light a small boxwood tree in all blue lights.
Then, we crossed over into blue-collar Rossford, OH and it's go-time. It's like someone injected a vodka Red Bull into the color strands. It's a party in nearly every yard.
100% there's elitism associated with Christmas lights.
'Tis the season!
ODAC Pride
• Scott from Ridgeland, SC says:
Hard to believe I saw a reference to the mighty ODAC in SC, but I did. SC truly has it all. Despite MP from Staunton’s penetrating glimpse of nothing around the why you might root for another team from your conference (but then again expecting anything from Bridgewater is probably a fool’s errand). Having gone to Washington & Lee (BTW the series record is 31 to 22) DIII football isn’t an all consuming passion like it is in the SEC, BIG10 or Big12.
The games are fun but in some years your high school team might be able to win the game. The main goal hope the outcome of the game becomes clear as fast as possible to get back to your apartment/bar/fraternity to watch what’s on TV and crush a few beers and root for your home DI team. Maybe that explains why Bridgewater is so important to MP from Staunton.
DI football in Virginia hasn’t been relevant in a long while. Besides, hanging on to the 2001 Bridgewater Stagg Bowl appearance is like W&L hanging on to its 1951 Gator Bowl appearance vs. Wyoming. Anyway, I really wasn’t aware Bridgewater was a big rivalry game for W&L. Generally, we thought it was Sydney’s Hamsters …. Hampton Squidney …. the Squids …. Hampton Sydney.
With that being said if the Squids were to make it into the DIII championship, I would root for them just out of DIII kinship and ODAC pride!
Keep up the great work at SC, clearly one of the best, if not best, blogs out there.
Go Generals!
Millennial Jeff in Minnesota banged out this email at 1:58 a.m. EST Sunday morning!
• MJiM writes:
Thanks again to everyone who took the time to respond to my email.
This whole discussion proves how warped everyone's minds are. I'm predicting that the #1 team beats the #4 team and that #5 beats #6, and I'm the crazy person! I feel like Will Ferrel's character in Zoolander.
I never said that the "North" was superior. I did not even mean to imply it. I just love the regional nature of college football.
I admitted that the SEC has dominated recently. Kudos to them. I just don't think that they will this year.
Fortunately, we get to have the playoff and bowl games and find out who is objectively better. I'll be proven right or wrong.
To Dale A. How can you get more factual than showing who has won recent National Championships in football? Yes, last year 3/4 were from the Midwest. That is a fact. The SEC plays fewer conference games, fact. They usually play schools like Chattanooga. They do play a weak non conference opponent before any tough conference game.
To Exotic Wood Mike and the other SEC apologist, the SEC did not look like the best conference this year. Objectively speaking the PAC 12 did. I believe that Michigan is very good. I hope that the rest of the Big Ten takes care of business. I believe FSU had a better resume than Alabama and is still deserving of the playoff. I still believe that they will beat an untested UGA team.
Yes, players will sit out or transfer. That's a challenge for the depth of teams. It might impact outcomes. I won't resign on my predictions because of it.
I don't understand players skipping bowls. They are soft and selfish for doing so. The bowls should be fun. An opportunity to play well, show how good you are, and represent your school/yourself. The late great John Gagliardi always explained to me (I'm paraphrasing part of the quote), "you can run a program with lots of rules, or you can recruit kids that do not need a lot of rules." Meaning simply get players that'll do the right thing without being told or incentivized to do so.
Today was a great day in college football. The Bison dominated. Our nemesis SDSU rolled as well. MVC baby. Army beat Navy.
Let's table this discussion for now and revisit it in early January. Feel free to respond, but I'll avoid extending it further.
A recent sunset pic to close the discussion for now.
Obliterated might be garbage, but Chris B. is going to keep watching
• Travel Ball Hardo® Chris B. in Houston writes:
Miles is not completely wrong… Obliterated is certainly not gonna win any awards (and the previously noted schlong to boob ratio is indeed high) but it has entertained me so I’m gonna finish watching the series. I'd like to thank him for his rant though as he listed a shipload of Netflix shows that I have not seen. I just killed some time watching those trailers and added a bunch to my list.
John in Coronado really doesn’t like the Longhorns! I think many of them are pompous jackasses but I’m glad they’re joining the SEC because they’re breaking up the SEC West gauntlet that the Aggies have been playing the last decade or so. I’m looking forward to restarting the old Ag / horn rivalry and to getting more of the SEC East teams on A&M’s schedule.
Jon Rahm
• Tom from Florida checks in:
Best quote for the year 2023:
"I don't play golf for the money"
after Jon Rahm signed for $500 million. What a fuc***g hypocrite.
Company Christmas Party stories
• Bill in Nebraska writes:
First year at my first real job out of college. Party was at the the directors home. BYOB and heavy appetizers. I took a 6pk and had maybe 3 beers. But by the end of the night one of the DVM/Ph.D doctors and I were talking. He was trying to convince me to apply for Veterinary school and was drinking straight tequila from the director's stash.
By the end of the night, he was lit up like a Christmas tree. Following Monday morning everyone was asking me how I felt Saturday morning, thinking I was the one who drank the tequila.
I told everyone that I didn't have a drop of it. The DVM had to ask me later that day what he was drinking so he could replace the bottle he killed.
• Jason W. writes:
Drunken Xmas (er Holiday) Party... I was 20-something - dating some girl in the office - the boss has an "afterparty" at his house - about 30 people. This old drunk dude was touching, grinding, annoying my date. Of course I was hammered. I confronted him, he got in my face and I shoved him... he fell down, I got thrown out.
Turns out he was the boss's buddy. On Monday I went to the office and my mailbox was no longer there. (back in my day you had actual boxes where they'd put mail that came in for you. I don't think this exists any longer.) Met with HR, wasn't fired but had to apologize to the entire company, the boss directly. I left a few weeks later.
Are we over the sunrise/sunset photos? Uh, not when they're from a duck blind and they look like this!
• Hunter sent this one Saturday morning from his blind:
• Family friend Doug in Florida sent in this one last night:
Joe, after being on the fence ever since this debate began, I now fall on the side of sunsets! This picture taken in The Ozarks today does not do the color or size of this breathtaking sunset justice.
That's a wrap.
Brittany Mahomes' anger has me fueled for the week. Find your fuel and power through. Like Congress, I know many of you consider this the last week of your year, so good luck tying up all the loose ends and finishing up all your Zooms before calling it a year.
Have a great week.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com