Paige Spiranac Winter Golfing, Gisele Practices Martial Arts & Patriots Fan Loses A Tooth

I don't have some grand opening monologue this morning

Yes, I see what's going on in the world. No, I don't have some massive political science take on Ukraine-Russia. The world is clearly a different place this morning, but we must go on with Screencaps. This is a space where you can relax for a minute to take your mind off the hard-life stuff.

Everyone try to relax today. The blood pressure is going to be sky-high. I get it.

Send me an email. Bring up a topic that's been on your mind.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

On weekday donut runs with my son while I was working on Screencaps

• J. Lowe in Prescott, AZ writes:

Real men live by a simple motto: family first.

Keep getting the donuts.

On the craziness of Facebook Marketplace

• Mike B. in Nashville writes:

Facebook Marketplace is an interesting place. I had an antique bed set on Marketplace for a week at $100.00. No bites at all. I lower it to $75.00 and people from all over are wanting it. The girl who bought it lived over an hour away traveling through Nashville traffic. I’m not much of a facebooker, but there must be a filter. How can not one person bite on $100, but I lower it to $75 and 20 people want it. Personally, I’m kicking myself for not lowering it to $95.00, but if we’re being honest, if someone just asked for it I would have given it to them just to get it out of my garage.

P.S. This week I’m following up the advice from one of the “Don’t Blink” responses and will start writing a few memories down each week for all the kids. I want to try and take a picture of all my son’s faces. I don’t know how a 2.5 year old can make so many faces that make everyone laugh. Kids are the best.

Keep up the good work.

• Jake in Toddler-Mask-Lots-Ville, Virginia

In answer to your buddy’s question, yes, there is indeed a bunk bed shortage going on. Our littlest is about to graduate from her crib, so we’ve been searching for beds. We have four-year-old twins, and were thinking of moving them over to a bunk bed so that we could put everyone in the same room, but lead times were 6 months or longer for anything my snooty wife (NOT a Screencaps reader, if you couldn’t tell) would have in our house, so we abandoned that plan.

And as far as any FB Marketplace/Craigslist advice I can give in the current climate, ALWAYS start much higher than you yourself would ordinarily pay. I’m often left dumbfounded at what people are willing to pay, even if it’s utter garbage being posted.

The most ridiculous example of this goes back quite a ways but still blows my mind. I was going to repaint a room in our house. In this room was a plywood hutch that the previous owner had built into a corner.

The previous owner considered himself a bit of a handyman, but as someone who has had to fix a lot of the work that he did around this place, I can attest to his affinity for nails when screws would’ve been the correct fastener of choice.

Removing this hutch from the corner was a serious struggle as a result, and I wound up doing quite a bit of damage to the wood on this hutch. And I should reiterate, this hutch was not built by a “craftsman”. It was a couple pieces of plywood nailed together with a couple cheap panes of glass fitted as doors and built probably 50 years ago. I was just going to post the thing on Craigslist for free, hoping it would obviate the need to go to the dump. My wife handled the listing and instead posted it for $50.

I said, “you’re nuts, no one is going to pay $50 for this thing, there’s probably not even $50 worth of plywood" (note, this is going back probably 10 years, before the current inflation). Sure enough, within a day, a woman was willing to drive from 45 minutes away to get it and handed me two $20 bills. And from that point on, I’ve used that as my reference point for how to price used items. If it doesn’t sell within a couple days, you can always lower the price, which has its own benefit in that it draws out the people who think they’re getting a “deal”.

On breaking golf ties

• Grant H. in Crosby, ND writes:

Love the screencaps, awesome daily reading. As far as the golf ties, when we're playing team events we like to go with the chip-off. Usually somewhere in the 90-120 yard range, far enough back to where it is very difficult to see a small ball marker.

Each team picks the guy they want to chip for them and go back to the determined chip-off spot. Flip a coin to determine who chips first. The golfer that will be chipping second is not allowed to watch the shot so he doesn't know where it ended up. First shot is marked and ball removed before second player can turn around. He now has no idea how close he needs to hit it and has pressure to be close. If neither player hits the green, process is repeated, alternating who goes first. 

As far as our regular golf crew, in North Dakota our season is about 5 months and a lot of the guys are farmers, which cuts into the season even more. So when we get a chance to play, we just keep after the lattes and play until we can barely see anymore. Then it usually leads to the putt-off to determine winners and losers, because at our small-town course we all know the holes real well and can play the putt-off virtually in the dark.

Anyway, keep up the great work, you've got a lot of fans up here by the northern border.

P.S. Aside from the tiebreakers, every men's night ends with a putt-off amongst the group. The "Whiskey Putt" has everyone putt from the farthest point on the green from the hole. Whoever' ball is farthest from the hole buys a shot for the group when we get to the clubhouse.

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First of all, thanks to Grant for the help on breaking golf ties. Next, let's address Grant possibly being the first emailer from North Dakota. My brain is foggy this morning, but I cannot remember any others.

Now, let's go to the map and see exactly where Crosby, ND is located. Folks, we're talking in theeeee middle of nowhere. Crosby's population is 1,100. The town is 231 miles from the nearest Chick-fil-A!

As I type, it's -17 in Crosby. The nearest McDonald's is 52 km... IN CANADA! This place is so remote that Google Maps hasn't updated the area since 2008.

And now I'm completely intrigued by life and golf in the middle of nowhere. From the look of the golf course map, you don't just get the boys together for a quick Saturday morning round at a new place. It's like a 5-hour road trip if you want to mix it up a little bit.

I'll fire off some questions to Grant so we can all learn about life in the middle of nowhere North Dakota where it sounds like Screencaps has made a big impression. Who knows, maybe one of these days the Crosby tourism board will fly a Screencaps foursome up there to hit some bombs.

On Mexican food

• You know who's not fazed by war in Ukraine? Mike T. & Cindy T.

Greetings from sunny Mazatlan Mexico Amigo!

Carnival is getting into full swing here in sunny Mexico and the crowds of Nationals is going to be huge as the Carnival parade was announced it is a full go yesterday! That means 250,000 people will pack the malacon of Mazatlan for main parade Sunday night! Mucho Loco Amigo.

With the huge crowds in mind, we crossed town last night with a large group of friends and went to one of our favorite Taquerias, Taqueria Playa Sur.

Taqueria Playa Sur only does Sinaloa chopped style items, only from Beef. Unbelievably delicious and flavorful.

They marinate the beef, than bbq it before chopping it for the final product. They simply serve it with chopped onions and cilantro. Served with three salsas and radishes and cucumbers, simple and delicious.Adios amigo!

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I might have to ban Mike & Cindy for a week. He is clearly taunting me at this point with the salsa bar, the beers and the limes! The food speaks for itself, but Mike knows that the salsa lazy Susan gets me every time.

On old scoreboards

• Patrick C. writes:

I consider myself a pretty astute baseball fan, but I racked my brain recently seeing this picture of the old centerfield scoreboard at Tiger Stadium. For the life of me I could not figure what the highlighted area on scoreboard was! Turns out it was the final score of the first game of a doubleheader. 

Those old scoreboards had everything a fan could ever want to know about, including out of town games. 

I hope all is well with you! 

p.s. your Dunkin’ Donuts story, yes they’ll always be Dunkin’ Donuts to me, reminded me of thinner days gone by. I used to consume a half dozen of donuts each Saturday morning while delivering the Detroit Free Press back in the day! They used to be on my route and the aroma was just too irresistible to pass up! Can’t imagine scarfing down two donuts today, let alone six! 

On motorsports

• Bill H., one of my favorite emailers who typically puts historical context on subjects, strikes again. Bill writes:

Seeing your early 70's Ford F250, 3/4 ton posting prompted me to send you this story about a mod build that The Wolfe, a friend of my son-in-law, Billy, is currently working on.

We saw this future beast only yesterday in its developmental stage. It is an early 70's (72?) Ford F150 he has had since high school and gone through several iterations. His final offering of the 150 will end with a Dodge Hellcat power plant, upgraded suspension and much better 'whoa' to stop the 'go'.

The truck had a long wheelbase bed, but he has shortened it a foot, so it's not a short nor long bed. The Wolfe calls his hybrid a 'Shlong'. Ironically, the color scheme on it is two-tone white and pink. I will send pics several months from now after it is road ready. My guess is that many will envy The Wolfe's Shlong.

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Written by
Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America. Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league. Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.