Paige Spiranac Dumps Out Her Advice To Help Your Golf Game, Buy Kyle Busch's Bardominium & Dale Jr. Shocker
The Summer of Rec Ball®
Game 7: 15-10 WIN
Record: 5-2
The bad: Screencaps Jr. started and got lit up on the mound, giving up 7 runs over three innings, which was the longest outing of his baseball life. I was getting whiplash from the line drives rocketing around the infield. Put it this way, if you need a great pitcher for a Home Run Derby, Jr. is your kid. He's going to make you hit it. The problem is that when teams get in a groove on him, it's batting practice.
The good: Screencaps Jr. didn't walk a batter. The accuracy since his last outing was much better. Now we need to work on adding some ass into the pitches. I need him to reach back a little bit. It will come, but at least it wasn't a walk-fest.
Junior's buddy, Kramer, who has been dealing with a thumb injury came in and settled us down with two solid innings before handing it over to my closer who has pitched two scoreless innings for two saves this season.
Daddy Ball Report®: Jr. went 4-for-4 with three singles, a double and 5 RBI. He now has 23 RBI in seven games.
That said, I'm the most proud of him with the glove. In the top of the 5th, playing short, he made a backhand on a scalding one-hopper, composed himself and made a beautiful waist-high throw to first base for the first out of the inning for Kramer. His ability to calm down an inning with the glove is invaluable.
Then, in the top of the 6th with a runner on and my closer, Stretch, who has been known to struggle with control on the mound, dealing, Jr. catches a line drive and picks off the runner who broke towards second. Double-play. Order is restored.
Stretch gets the next kid to nub one in front of the plate, my catcher pops out of his stance, gets on the ball, makes a perfect throw to first. Ballgame.
1-2-3 9th for a game that ended at 9:55. Thank you, baseball gods.
Notes:
- We finally proved this team could win without Maddux in the lineup, which is a big mental hurdle. Now we rest up for the biggest game of the year, so far, against the wannabe travel team that we beat earlier in the season. They're 6-1.
- Yes, Maddux will be on the mound. He didn't pitch against them in the first game.
- Kramer, the boy who has a thumb injury, has been on fire at the plate the worse the thumb injury has gotten. He's no longer catching, which is a bummer, but the bat is smoking hot.
- A kid who hasn't swung at a pitch all season swung at a pitch last night. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was strike three, but at least he swung and it was a nice, level swing to boot.
- Confirmed: 8:15 first pitches on Wednesday nights are rough for those of us who get up to go to work.
Today, Mrs. Screencaps and I celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary
Things I've learned & observations:
- Working for five years in the same house takes patience on both sides of the marriage. We see each other every single day for breakfast, lunch and typically dinner unless there's something going on.
- Yes, working in the same house has drawbacks, but I know when she'll be home for dinner every night. No traffic issues.
- Always volunteer to water the plants on the sunny side of the house at the end of the day.
- Ladies, we give you the entire house to decorate as you please. Just let us have the basement or man cave to remind us of our childhood bedrooms. Thankfully, Mrs. Screencaps has understood how important that is in my life, but I haven't completely taken advantage of the situation. Yes, there's a John Daly-signed pack of Marlboros on the wall, but it's pop art. She gets it.
- 15 years goes fast. Those of you who warned me were right.
- We're lucky to have two boys who listen, aren't jerkoffs when they go into friends' houses, have manners, are good students and typically understand what we expect in order to limit the chaos in the house.
- Kids are expensive, but what else were we going to spend our money on? Cars that can't move mulch or clean the pool?
- We picked the perfect house to live in forever. I look back and can't believe how lucky we got in the winter of 2010 when houses weren't selling. Back then, we thought there was no way we'd be able to pay the mortgage and have money to spare. Things have a way of working out. Unless something drastic changes with neighbors or some sort of natural disaster, they'll have to haul my body out of this house.
- Let her have a plant addiction. It counter-balances a golf/guys' golf trip addiction.
Screencaps readers continue to react to No Mow May Asshole Tyler the Deflector who refuses to say whether he'd be fine living next to a cesspool property in order to save the bees
— Rob in Florida writes:
Good morning, the world is literally filled with these guys now, I’m not sure how it happened, but it did. The good thing is, they are easy to spot, allow me to give a few hints on how to spot these guys out tin the wild.
1. The sign in the yard, that is the easiest way. The new " In This House….." sign is the " Please excuse my weeds, I’m feeding the Bees" sign. This is a real sign that is in my neighborhood on some Douche’s overgrown yard. It is by far the worst looking place on the block, including the Subaru in the Driveway with the "=" bumper sticker.
2. See above post about the Subaru in the Driveway.
3. If you happen to stumble across their Facebook page, it looks exactly like what you would think it would look like. Nothing but Pride posts and how " Every Trans person they know is caring, kind and deserving of love and respect". I have a friend that I’ve known for years, his wife’s page looks like the aforementioned guys page, I feel bad for the guy. ( BTW, they don’t know any Trans people). Virtue signaling at it’s best.
4. Birkenstocks. Enough said. (Don’t anyone come at me with a defense of those abominations, anyone that wears them smells of patchouli and Marxism)
These guys are easy to spot if you know what to look for. The life choices they have made haunt them, they overcompensate for obvious shortcomings, physically and emotionally and are the weakest of the tribe. Good thing is, due to their physical "shortcomings" they don’t procreate that much as it’s very difficult for them to find a woman who is willing to partner with them. Tyler, just go away, please, you make me sick, and for the love of God, mow your lawn.
— Chris A. shares:
My son just rented an apartment in the basement of a house near his work. The house is in a neighborhood of very nice houses with immaculately groomed lawns and landscaping. Unfortunately, this house is not one of them. The tenant in the upstairs portion of the house is supposedly taking care of the lawn rather than the property owner (who is very old), and is doing a piss-poor job: When he does mow, he cuts around easily movable things like chairs and trampolines, has not weeded a flower bed in forever, and doesn't know what a weed whacker is. I don't think he's mowed the lawn yet this season. The property clearly needs a professional to come in and clear out the overgrowth. My son is rightly offended by this gentleman's laissez-faire attitude towards yardwork, and is considering taking our walk-behind mower to the property to show him how it's properly done. I told him that if he does it once, he is stuck with that job for the remainder of his stay there, and he said he didn't care, he just can't live with the backyard jungle right outside his window.
Needless to say, I am proud of my boy. He knows that a well-maintained property represents pride of ownership and neighborly consideration. He also doesn't want to be known as a tenant in a Venezuelan crack house.
My lawn has lots of clover in it that does a fine job for the bees, I have milkweed and bushes for the butterflies, and I let some areas grow in to give the rabbits some shelter, so I'm doing my part for the environment without having three foot tall grass. I can't let my lawn (really a field) go long anyway because it will be overrun by Heavenly trees, which are just about the worst invasive plant next to kudzu.
Ultimately, I think a lot of these no-mow folks are actually trying to justify their laziness by touting how good they are for the environment. These are the same folks who don't bathe frequently and never throw anything out. I'm glad my neighbors aren't no-mowers.
Kinsey:
BINGO!
Laziness and virtue-signaling bonus points with their fellow loser virtue-signaling friends who love to get into a circle-jerk over which one is saving the planet more.
— Luis, a Packer fan from Apple Valley, MN wants to set the record straight on Venezuelans:
Don't worry, this isn't me angry-emailing. Well, I am but not at you and/or the SC community and more to the Dems for creating this ugly look for Venezuelans. I've been in this country since '99 and I am a long-time SC reader and proud winner of the 24-25 Hildee's Belly Button League (though I haven't been paid yet, guys please, don't make me ask for my money...).
A bunch of us Venezuelans have been here in the US for a while and nobody noticed. We were known pretty much for our beautiful women and that most of us were here as professionals (Miami doesn't count). That's changed since Brandon opened the border and let everyone in, including the now infamous Tren de Aragua. This resulted in us now being mentioned almost exclusively in negative ways.
But back to the subject, I don't mind you using Venezuela as an example of a shit country, we are a shit country, but you are wrong regarding the Venezuelan meth houses, those don't exist. It looks like the trouble that we are causing is different and probably more problematic.
I was hoping I could write something funny but there isn't anything funny about our situation. A lot of Venezuelans have left the country due to political persecution and moved to several other countries. By the way, the US has BY FAR been more generous and treated us better than any other country, but if you listen to the liberal media you'd never hear this.
Love your column and the community you've created, and yes, I mow on Thursdays!
— Delco Scott checks in on this one:
Tyler should be renamed Lamont. As in, "Lamont, you big dummy." How hard is it to figure out that three foot grass makes your house and neighborhood look like crap? Keep up the great work!
— Bill C. loved Ashley's response to Asshole Tyler:
I nominate Ashley for Screencaps mom of the year for 2025. She is clearly the leader in the clubhouse. Tyler won’t be coming out of his parent's basement now out of fear that Ashley will be waiting for him to make him mow her yard.
Screencaps readers keep telling me to install a bidet due to dusty toilet paper
— Ken in MA, who says he can't wait to get out of the sanctuary hellhole, writes:
In light of your recent issues with toilet paper, I thought I’d share this game-changing technology my buddies got me for my bday last yr :
https://hellotushy.com/products/classic-affordable-bidet?variant=32135870906410
This bidet is easy to set up #notsponsored (I barely know what end of the hammer to hold) and provides an experience so wonderful, you’ll cant’t believe you waited so long to get one. Plus, it cuts down on overall TP usage as you’ll use a fraction of what you normally would use. Just turn that sprayer on and guide the jet back and forth for 10 secs or so, blot dry, and you're clean as whistle. A great investment for your morning dump routine….
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And that is it this morning with a much-needed rain splashing against the HQ window. It's not looking great for a TNML mow. I haven't taken a DNM in weeks, but this might be a complete washout.
That said, we're going to give 110% today. Some of us aren't on vacation. Speaking of which, you guys need to show me your vacation spots. Make me jealous.
Go have a great day.
Email: joe.kinsey@outkick.com or use my personal Gmail