OutKick Readers Give Their Take On The Scourge Of Door-To-Door Solicitors

It’s Tuesday, and July is underway, which means that it’s time for the latest edition of the column that has received more complaints than the Carnival Poo Cruise, The Gripe Report!

Man, last week’s edition struck a nerve with a bunch of you lovely readers, and that’s because we were talking about the scourge of door-to-door solicitors and, more specifically, the way that those little "NO SOLICITING" signs that anyone can buy don’t seem to do the job of keeping salespeople from interrupting your day whether you’re working or barbecuing or taking a nap or trying to watch the Netflix Poo Cruise documentary (I’ve got the Poo Cruise on the brain; that doc was fun).

Have a gripe? Send it in!: matthew.reigle@outkick.com

Let’s see what some of you had to say, starting with PCA from St. Paul:

I have a [no solicitors] sign on my property that reads, "Don't call us, we'll call you!"   

BTW, this line is from a '70s band called Sugar Loaf.  It's a catchy and classic tune from that era, so give it a listen sometime…. 

…

I love this sign, but I get the sense that solicitors won’t be able to grasp what it’s saying. I mean, if they breeze past "NO SOLICITING" like it’s not even there, they’re not going to pick up on a clever sign like that.

Sometimes it makes me think of that famous Lionel Hutz moment in The Simpsons episode "The Day The Laughter Died" (one of my all-time favorite episodes. Kirk Douglas is great, but one of my favorite recurring guests — in addition to the brilliant Phil Hartman as Lionel Hutz — was Alex Rocco as Itchy & Scratchy boss Roger Meyers Jr., where Hutz realizes his "No money down" ad was printed wrong.

Do they think my sign says, "No, soliciting!"

These people have been trained to ignore the most explicit way of saying, "Bro, do not knock on my door; I’m not interested in whatever it is you're selling," so I get nervous about anything not as clear, but it seems like this is working out nicely for PCA.

Now, Troy has taken another approach that I had never considered, and that is to go with double signs:

Almost made the rookie mistake of buying just one sign.  I bought two from the Bezos website and strategically placed them out in front of the walkway to the house.  Designed for the person who says they didn't see the one sign or the person who makes a Right on Red when there are 3 signs at the corner stating "No Turn on Red Light."

It has dramatically cut down on solicitors, and I actually enjoy it when someone does come to the door.  I always make it a point to show them the 2 signs.  One guy was selling something, and when I pointed it out, he said, "But I am your neighbor down the street."  Doesn't matter. 

…

Maybe that's the answer. Anyone can breeze past one sign, but two?

No, then they're just ignoring the sign.

Perhaps we need to double up and put one at the end of the walkway and another closer to the door, or maybe on the side of the walkway opposite the first sign.

…although it really shouldn't take this much strategizing, just don't knock on my door to try and sell me things!

If paying a restaurant to let you cook your own meal like you would at home sounds like a good time to you… well, then we are very different people. (Getty Images)

Restaurants That Make You Cook Your Own Food

Last week, we talked about five foods that are a pain in the ass, and people were calling it, "brilliant."

Their words, not mine; thought I’d be inclined to agree.

But I want to dig into something that we touched on there, and that was any restaurant where they make you cook your own food, because I absolutely can’t stand this.

Now, I like myself some Japanese food. They do it right in the Land of the Rising Sun. Sushi, udon, tonkatsu, ramen, karaage chicken. I mean, I’ve already discussed my affinity for takoyaki, or, as its name loosely translates to in English, "octopus balls."

So, despite how much I love some Japanese food, there’s a Japanese restaurant just a short drive from where I live, and every couple of months I think, "How have I not eaten there?"

Then I remember: it’s a Japanese barbecue place, which means you have to cook your own food over a little fire pit built into the middle of the table.

Restaurants like this, where you grill your own steak or make your pancakes or sit there and boil various things in a pot of broth, always seemed like a total scam to me.

First, the prices are way higher than if you just got the stuff yourself and made it at home. Like, whatever you pay per person to cook your own pancakes is way more than if you just got a box of Bisquik and uncorked a barrage of pancakes at your house.

Same goes for steaks. You’re buying steaks at restaurant prices, and then you have to stand there and do all the work.

Which leads to the second thing I don’t like, which is that if your meal stinks, guess where the blame goes.

That’s right: on you.

It’s kind of brilliant. Imagine going to the Japanese barbecue place I mentioned, ordering some wagyu beef, and then, when they ask how your meal was, you can’t say, "Eh, it was a little overcooked."

That’s because they can just say, "Well then, maybe next time pay less attention to Instagram reels of people getting hurt on trampolines and pay attention to your steak, dummy."

And they’d be right.

This seems to me like a way to save a little dough when it comes to paying the kitchen staff by not needing as much kitchen staff, but for some reason, people go along with it under the guise of it being fun. 

It's not fun. It's the same activity as the one you'd do at home; you're just paying more.

I mean, if this is how people think, I might start charging people to pull weeds at my house. Sure, it sucks when you do it at home for free, but it must suddenly turn into a day at the water park when you start paying someone else to let you do it.

…

That's it for this week, folks!

Thanks to all of you who have chimed in, and be sure to send in your gripes for a future edition of The Gripe Report!: matthew.reigle@outkick.com