Olivia Dunne Has A New Bodyguard, Lionel Messi Casually Shopping At Publix & LPGA Pro-Am Gets Off To A Hilarious Start
10U House Ball Championship Friday & I can feel the energy running through my bloodstream
As I sat there on the patio soaking up a beautiful Thursday night with the dog after putting in a very productive Thursday Night Mowing League effort, my mind started wandering to tonight's huge showdown against the Rangers.
Yes, it's an all-Texas finals in NW Ohio for the 10U house ball hardware tonight at 7:00. My Astros might've had the most wins in the league, but the Rangers are the No. 1 seed based on winning percentage (9-2-2). You're damn right that's been on my mind ever since the seedings were released.
If you're not using a slight like that to your advantage this time of year in house ball, are you even alive inside? It's a total chip-on-the-shoulder situation.
Now it's time to pay off all the offseason work, all those reps while wearing coats. Did we enjoy defensive drills ("Get back in line. We're going to do this until you guys do it right.")? Hell no, it was hard. Did the neighbor kid like me the first night at practice when his effort was terrible behind the plate and I told him about it?
It's time for my bulldog pitching staff to go to work. I'm running Skittles out there as my starter. Going into the season, he was my ace. He's a quarterback on the football field. He's a huge leader on the baseball field.
I've said from day one that this kid is going to be special in sports. Well, here we are in the finals and he gets the start. I fully expect the Rangers to counter with their No. 1, Smoke, who throws smoke.
But will they have an answer for our 1-2 of Skittles and Griffey? Pitchers can only go three innings and Smoke just pitched Wednesday night. Skittles and Griffey have been icing their arms since Monday night.
That's definitely a key to the game that Eduardo Perez will be watching from the booth.
On offense, the order will look a little different. This is for the world championship. Smoke is going to face our murders' row. I have no choice but to top-load the order. If the Rangers are going to win the title, they're going to earn it.
The time for talking is over. It's time to win some fake plastic World Series rings....just kidding, I think the kids would get some plastic medals.
• Travel Ball Hardo Chris B. in Houston writes:
Bunting is illegal?!? What? I know many are opposed to it - queue the Kent Murphy vid - but it is part of the game and is a great way to get kids in a slump to put the bat on the ball and regain some confidence. In our rec league bunts were legal, but it was illegal to show bunt and then change to swinging away.
Kinsey:
Yes, no bunting. SWING THE BAT. BE A HERO. WE'RE NOT MOVING RUNNERS OVER.
A little something for the ladies!
• Tara P. writes:
Thanks for the Riley Green Instagram Post! While I can appreciate all the lovely women you feature daily, I do love the occasional "hot guy". Riley trumps any Troy Aikman post!
Thank you on behalf of all the women who still like their men masculine AF!
Kinsey:
Hell yeah, Tara!
How many friends do you have that would just hang out on a quiet Sunday afternoon in the fall to watch NFL games on the patio?
From what I know about you guys, finding guys to visit with doesn't seem to be a problem because we have a massive alpha male readership, but the data also tells us that it's not exactly easy to meet new friends for a growing part of society.
Why?
It doesn't take an expert in social anthropology to determine that people are becoming more disconnected from society due to phones, video games, easy access to mass media, and the ability to push a few buttons to have humans deliver food to the doorstep or deliver anything you could possibly want, including sex dolls, from Amazon.
But, my own research tells me that there's a huge segment of society that wants to be connected to others to have interpersonal communication. It's why I'm not having a problem filling a 9-hole golf tournament. It's why Morning Screencaps is a runaway success. It's why thousands of people have joined the Thursday Night Mowing League.
Guys, we cannot let this trend (see below) grow larger. We have to tell our kids it's not going to happen. We have to tell our wives we will have meaningful relationships with others. We will have relationships with our neighbors. We will leave our garage doors open and welcome in those who look like they would like a beer (or a Coke) and conversation.
It's why we should work so hard on our yards and landscape to be inviting to others. Create a space to make the world a better place.
If you're having trouble connecting with others, let me know. Connect with a TNML member in your city. Connect with a Screencaps emailer. Stop by NW Ohio. I just had beers this week with an out-of-town Twitter follower who's hit a rough patch at work.
Conclusion: Help your fellow man.
Costco hot dog choking death insurance
• Rich from Hilton Head Island, SC writes:
Having been an attorney in the personal injury business, I can assure you Costco is on solid ground. Choking on a hot dog, while tragic, is not something Costco is liable for, what did they do wrong? Are the hot dogs so large Costco should have known there was a risk of choking? Heck, you can choke to death on a French fry and drown to death in a glass of water. Horrible thing to happen to that little girl and her family, and I can’t guarantee some lawyer somewhere won’t file suit against Costco (b/c they have a lot of money), but it would likely get thrown out by the judge before trial.
• Kevin on Twitter writes:
Re the Costco hot dog story. Large organizations (everything from schools and hospitals to concert venues and big box stores) carry different ‘tiers’ of insurance. Lower tiers pay out less of a premium and are intended to cover minor liabilities like slip and fall. Higher tiers of insurance cover more catastrophic events - like slip and fall down a stairs that results in a broken neck. So while CostCo doesn’t have specific coverage for ‘choking deaths’ they definitely have a ‘reinsurance’ tier that covers accidental death at one of their stores.
Different insurance companies will hold different tiers of policies for the same customer and the legal proceedings will determine how much they are going to pay out and that will determine which insurers will have to cover the claim.
Dbag sports media
• Aaron H. writes:
No list is complete without John Feinstein.
Kinsey:
Without a doubt. Remember his sports talk show on CBS Radio like 10-14 years ago? That might've been one of the hardest listens in sports talk radio history. Unbearable.
There's no way John has friends. His friends are those blue checkmark circlejerk losers I wrote about yesterday.
• From a figure within the college football coaching world:
I'll admit, I clicked for the Mexican weather girl wake up, but left with such appreciation for the Wolken and Mandel hate that I had to find and follow. Good to connect.
Kinsey:
Guys, this column is read by more people than you know. Just keep doing your thing. Real America® loves it.
Men attending baby showers
• Mig writes:
I am attending a baby shower for my daughter this Sunday. There will be camping, fishing, shooting, 4 wheeling, goats, chickens, dogs, cats and a fancy stock tank pool. I think the events of the shower determine participation. I have another at my brothers house in August which includes a 9-hole scramble on his home track. There are also showers at in-laws homes I will not be attending since they will be more along traditional shower. That's a no-go.
Kinsey:
Men attending baby showers would skyrocket if the baby showers were like what Mig's about to attend. I know those of you in the south have your beliefs about people in Ohio, but I hope you're reading how they're living out in the sticks of the Buckeye State.
TWIB & Wrenway Wiffleball is coming up in August
• Brent P. in Carmel, IN writes:
This week in baseball is forever etched in my brain. I’m not sure when it went off the air but for me it predates ESPN. I didn’t particularly care to watch the nightly news to get sports highlights, so TWIB was it. Saturday after cartoons. I think that is really what made it special for me. If you missed the airing, then you missed it. No DVR, no VCR, no internet archive like youtube. Therefore, if possible, I never missed it. In the 70’s my cubs were regulars on the blooper reel every Saturday. I can still hear Mel Allen’s voice, so silky smooth.
The point of my email is to let everyone know that Wrenway Park will be open for wiffle ball for its 31st year on August 18 and 19. The main day is the 19th. I somehow have to convince my wife to spend our 28th wedding anniversary watching wiffle ball and camping. Talking about “Do hard things”. But as my father would always say… “just get it done”.
And as Mel Allen would say. “That’s all for now, and until next week…So long everybody!”
Kinsey:
Man, Brent hit me right in the gut with great TWIB memories and a heads-up that my favorite Wiffle ball tournament is right around the corner. Guys, if you can get to tiny Wren, OH for this in August, I cannot say enough good things about the experience you'll have.
Brent took his wife last year and they became something of local celebrities. I need to check my schedule. I believe the National Tractor Pull is that weekend and I'm fully committed to that because we have a reader who is something of a big deal within the tractor pull world and he's sending passes for my text group.
From one of my trips to Wren, OH for the Wrenway Park tournament. / Joe Kinsey
That's the perfect way to end today's column. Look at the energy in that Wren Wiffle ball photo. It's straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. It still gives me goosebumps all these years later.
Anyway, I need to get moving. It's time to get to work and go hard all the way until 9 p.m. tonight when either the Rangers or MY Astros are taking home the title under the lights.
Have a great weekend. Invite a neighbor over to the patio to talk life.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com