Notoriously Horny Snapping Turtle, ‘Shnappy,’ Missing; Tragically Believed To Have Been Poached From Staten Island Pond

A beloved snapping turtle in Staten Island known for having very loud snapping turtle sex with its favorite lady has gone missing and people are fearing the worst.

According to The New York Post, Shnappy is a 50-pound, 2-foot by 15-inch snapping turtle. While I feel like I spent a significant portion of my youth being warned about the dangers of snapping turtles, Shnappy became something of a local celebrity after living in the same pond in Cloves Lake Park for decades with a female who is nearly as big as he is.

The turtles are thought to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 to 75 years old, so they've been fixtures in the community. They were also noteworthy for their habit of mating... a lot... and loudly. In fact, The Post quotes someone who said it sometimes sounded like the “crack of baseballs repeatedly hitting a bat.”

Egad, man.

Shnappy, Female Snapping Turtle Companion Have Gone Missing

But unfortunately, these local reptilian celebrities have gone missing. Unfortunately, what many believe to be the circumstances of the turtles' disappearance is going to put a real damper on what has been a fun story up to this point.

Sorry about that.

City officials are investigating reports that a team of men were spotted removing the turtles from the pond by using hooks. That, of course, is very illegal and would be considered poaching.

The fear is that the two turtles were poached and then sold on the black market. Why? Well, according to The Post, some officers believe they were sold to a restaurant or meat market.

This is because New York has some of the strictest laws in the nation regarding the sales of reptiles and amphibians. So, people who want to cook them have a hard time obtaining them.

Unfortunately, this isn't the first instance of poaching in that same park. There have also been reports of people poaching smaller turtles, clams, and fish from the same park.

Man, just terrible. Condolences to all of the people — and there were many — who grew to love Shnappy over the years.

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