Horror Stories Of Couples Moving In Together Go Viral, Are Nightmare Fuel

Nightmare stories of couples moving in together are going viral, and the answers might keep you single for a long time.

As usual, I hopped on Reddit while sipping on my straight black coffee, but unlike a regular day, I'm currently battling an illness that would end most men. We don't choose our battles. They choose us, and I'm currently dealing with feeling like I got shot in the head and beaten with a baseball bat.

However, you can always count on Reddit to lift your spirits, and that's exactly what happened with an incredible thread.

Stories of moving in with significant others goes viral. 

I was scrolling when I saw the following thread going viral:

"What's the weirdest thing you've discovered about your partner only after moving in together?"

Yeah, you don't have to convince me to click on that one. That's getting clicked 100% of the time. Check out some of the responses below, and let me know your thoughts at David.Hookstead@outkick.com:

• He gets a weird feeling in his tummy and then goes to sit on the toilet for an hour until he has a bowel movement. I, apparently, wait until I get the cue to go to the bathroom before actually attempting. As I thought was normal. He quite literally made fun of me yesterday for kicking him off the toilet. "You made me get up to only take 30 seconds??". Dude you've been in there for 45 minutes and clearly nothing was happening if you could just let me in like that.
• He will occasionally (usually when I'm not around to be appalled) eat dry tortellini straight out of the bag when he's reading in bed. Dry. Tortellini.
• some ppl find out their partner talks in their sleep… mine is finding out she has a secret shrine dedicated to shrek in her closet
• We were fixing to watch a movie and he wanted popcorn. He said "too bad we don’t have any lettuce." I asked if he wanted a salad, he said "No, I want popcorn and lettuce."  He said he never said anything at the movie theater because he always knows they never have lettuce.  The man eats bites of lettuce and popcorn together. His whole family does. 
• He wanted to put all the cutlery just straight into a drawer without any divides between knives, forks and spoons. Just... All in there in a mess.
• In the middle of the night I will wake up to him having both of his arms straight in the air like a damn zombie. If I lay too close to him when he does this I get a surprise mammogram when he inevitably drops his arms down
• How every single cup of coffee is left 1/4 full around the apartment.
• He sleeps like a vampire; sleeping on his back, with his arms straight by his sides or folded on his chest. Every. Single. Night. Some nights he doesn’t even change his position at all. I was seriously concerned during the first couple of nights we slept in the same bed.
• While I'm cooking, he insists on opening the goddamn oven MULTIPLE TIMES to check if it's ready. Makes me homicidal.
• I always thought that when movies or TV shows feature someone talking in their sleep, and they just spout random, silly nonsense, that it was mostly for comedic effect and wasn’t really a reflection of real life. Nope. My partner talks in his sleep and it’s always just absolute random, silly nonsense. The most recent one was, in a tone of dismay; "There’s ice cream all over the stairs…" followed by a drawn out "broooooooo" He also just periodically giggles in his sleep, which, frankly, is one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen from another human.
• He completely undresses before going to the bathroom to poop
• Evidently there is a right way and a wrong way to fold towels.
• That it’s apparently totally normal to leave EVERY CUPBOARD OPEN. I love her more than life but man is it annoying.
• The amount of times she gets up in the night to pee
• that he only cleaned the apartment before I came over. he never cleaned. this man was living in absolute filth
• She has to have a kettle of water on the stove at all times. She rarely uses the kettle. It is in case the power goes out and the well pump stops. We have city water service.
• The sudden muscle reflexes when hes asleep lol
• Doesn’t dry using towel and instead naturally air dries
• The floor is his laundry basket.
• She hoards blankets in every way shape and form. It's not intentional, they just manifest around her in a blanket fort, and I'm all for it. We have individual blankets and a top comforter for the bed though, so no stealing of my blanket at night!
• She doesn’t talk in her sleep but she hums. Sometimes I can make out the tune. Last night it was Pink Pony Club.
• Socks. All over the place.
• She doesn't fully close cabinets or lids. She'll leave out a jar of anything (jelly, peanut butter, etc) and give the lid a quarter turn then call it a day.
• How much of the housekeeping and maintenance at his place (group house) was being done by his housemates. His parents taught him nothing.

That thread is a nice mix of insanity, darkness, humor and downright strange answers. Fortunately, I haven't had to deal with anything super serious when spending time with the gentler sex at their place.

Knock on wood.

I suppose things could always go sideways. I had one woman who didn't like me carrying a gun, but last time I checked this is America. We have a Second Amendment right in this country, and I'm not going unarmed just because it makes someone feel uncomfortable.

I've also dealt with some messy women over the years, but honestly, if that's the worst thing they do, so be it. That's an easy pill to swallow.

Some of you all need to have your partners seek help because a few of the stories listed above are legit unhinged.

Relationship horror stories go viral. (Credit: Getty Images)

Do you have a horror story about moving in with someone you'd like to share? Let me know at David.Hookstead@outkick.com.