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My son was carded for ice cream

Have you ever heard of an ice cream shop that offers a kids' size cup of ice cream asking a parent how old the child is that's receiving the kids' cup of Superman ice cream? It happened to us Sunday in Port Clinton, OH at the Toft's Ice Cream strip mall store.

Last year, we had a similar incident happen when my wife was told she couldn't get a kids' cup because she wasn't a kid. This year, our six-year-old was carded. The girl working behind the counter asked Mrs. Screencaps his age.

Mrs. Screencaps: "He's six."

Toft's girl: "OK."

Then the cup ended up being the same size as ours. Talk about shaking your head over an ice cream business deal.

Someone help me out there: What does it matter how old the kid is who's receiving the kids' cup? One of you has to run an ice cream business.

We go to all sorts of ice cream businesses and typically we're getting the kids' cup or cone. It's plenty. We've never been asked who will be eating the ice cream and their ages. Seriously, it felt like we were in the middle of a Seinfeld episode.

What if you had two kids in the car and you run in to get them ice cream? Does the store need the kids to come inside to verify they're kids? And what's the cutoff age where the kids can get the kids' cup? 7? 8?

I'm going to be thinking about this all week because I'm heading right back out that way Friday night.

The Amish and sports

• E.B. writes:

I genuinely am surprised that, living in the great state of Ohio, you didn't know the rabidity of sports fandom among the Anish, particularly among the youth. Buffalo Wild Wings, Quaker Steak and Lubes and other wings-and-sports places in Massillon, Wooster, Dover/New Philadelphia, and Canton would see copious amounts of Amish and ex-Amish youth on OSU Buckeyes football game days.

More recently, though, this has become more privatized. One example of this, there's a well-known silo near Berlin OH with a room in it and it functions as a dedicated sports lounge. It was amusing to drive past and see how many four-wheelers and bikes were parked out front. During Lebron's second Cavs stint, I was delivering pizza to get out of student loan debt and delivered to many such enclaves throughout the county.

If they didn't have access to a private viewing spot, some would book a hotel room, let their friends in the back door, and split the cost of the room. My brother, who also delivered pizzas during that time, and I both have seen up to 10 in a room for a watch party. Hotel management obviously didn't like it and sometimes we would let the front desk know about it. 

During the spring, it was the Cavs game. During the summer, Indians baseball was played. During the fall and winter, NFL and OSU Buckeyes ruled the screens. Given many of these sports fans were between 14 and 20 years of age, the tips were meager. But other watch parties made up for them. During the fall, it wasn't unusual to net $200 in tips on Saturday game days. 

I made the money I needed to, paid the debt I had to, and quit that second job. But yeah, some of the biggest sports fans exist among the Amish. 

Kinsey:

I live over two hours from all of those towns you mentioned. I've spent approximately 3 1/2 days in that region of Ohio in the last 8-10 years. That's how this stuff slips by me.

And all this description of the Amish community booking hotel rooms to watch sports isn't the Amish I grew up with in Pennsylvania in Dutch Country. I guess it's entirely possible the Ohio Amish are much more liberal with social norms compared to the Lancaster, PA Amish.

This is something I will address with my Amish source, Abner, who wrote in last week.

Raccoons are all the rage around here

• Gerard W. writes:

Molly the mole killer about died from the claws of a Devil Racoon a few years ago.  She usually has no trouble killing them.  This one though was in super thick grass and she wasn’t able to shake it hard enough to break its neck. 

I couldn’t shoot it as I couldn’t see it and didn’t want to shoot poor Molly.  They ended up in a drainage ditch in a couple of feet of water.  The freaking racoon was on top of Molly’s head trying to drown her!  Thankfully my wife heard the commotion and had brought me a pitchfork.  

I have no regrets doing what needed to be done.  You have to be mentally ill to keep racoons as pets.

• Heywood J. writes:

Has the SC community never heard of the hot dog raccoon guy? There's two sides to every argument.

Sheriff John in Houston's services are needed

• Mark P. in Indiana writes:

Joe; could you ask John in Houston if he could change his focus from raccoons to deer and squirrels?   My wife is about to kill a few deer with her bare hands after they keep eating her flowers and bushes and squirrels are just a damn pain in the ass.  My suburban neighbors would not appreciate watching my wife kill deer but they may be ok with a Texan killing anything that moves in my yard!

Odds and ends

• Warren M. writes:

Thought I’d comment on a few things:

Take care and thank you for all that you do and the SC community!

Kinsey:

Sounds like I better have my head on a swivel for Amish at the sports bars watching NFL preseason action while I'm in Sarasota/Siesta Key.

Need a ruling

• Grant B. writes:

I was mowing by the curb when a few bunnies took off from a den. This little guy held strong. Postponed the rest of the mow due to wildlife on the field. 

Kinsey:

Grant sent in this email on Saturday afternoon. Hopefully, he wasn't mowing on Saturday.

Anyway, yes, I'm all for allowing nature to do its thing and for the bunnies to survive and advance into the food chain. Speaking of bunnies, for years I couldn't believe the mother rabbit who kept selecting our yard for her dens when we had a dog running laps right on her nest. Finally, word must've spread enough within the rabbit community that they were playing with fire in our yard and they've moved on.

Now we have a stone-cold rabbit killer Doodle that keeps a close eye on this property.

How to keep the yellow jackets off the patio

• Ron in Lake Oswego, Oregon writes:

Yellow Jackets are a big issue in the West/NW Coast too. My wife used to run an event venue in CA and their solution was to put open cans of cat food out just beyond the event perimeter before things started. Yellow Jackets ate those cans like locusts but left attendees' tables all alone.

Kinsey:

Very interesting. How long before dinner should I be putting out the cat food?

He's back

• Harvey D. has been on summer vacation, but now he's BACK and has thoughts on travel ball hardos:

I have limited travel ball experience. Very good friends of mine, have unfortunately lived that life. Yes, I diligently and willfully bought the squares, raffles, chachki?, and whatnot to help. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the games either in person as travel allowed or thru what the score app. I went to the bar/silent auction/Casino nights(an absolute blast! I don't give two poops what it's for!) Travel ball Moms dolled up and full of booze, it beats the shit outta some Insta G posts. Just sayin'.

Ok, so back on point.  They bought the RV for tournament time, went all in on making the dream happen for the future BB card picture. Out of town every weekend. Fall ball, winter ball, Spring warmup league, Christmas break camp, One on One personal coaching time with somebody who did a 4 year stint in AA ball and had a one game call up to .... yadayada.  They gave it all.

Now granted the kid was damn good. All league this, State Team that. He took a scholarship to a school that was top 10 in what he wanted to major in, smart I think. 

But alas, he goes to above said school, and quits baseball two weeks in. Grown ass adult, can make his own decisions, he did.

So now Mom and Dad, can sit back and realize how much time, effort, and financial obligations they have laid out over past 10+/- years encouraging, enabling, financing the above said Future Big Leaguer to do what he thought he dreamed to do. The fallout is not pretty. The vacations they wanted to do but put off for the Travel Ball monster, come flooding back to the file of "What if's" we could have done this... The patio would have a hot tub if we wouldn't have..... that RV would have been a boat or a lake house if we wouldn't have... 

The Hardos gonna hate. I don't care. If your kid is that goddamned good in any sport, I mean any sport. They will get noticed. Did the Bambino play travel ball since he was 7? Did Walter Payton or Jim Brown play Travel League Football? Mike Schmidt, Johnny Bench, Pete Rose... did their Mom and Dad sacrifice resources to make them what they were/are? Just asking Hardos. 

Over the span of a travel ball career, would the time and money be better spent on the whole family unit, than focusing on a crap shoot? I don't really know, nor do I care. I realize it's a monster, the money to be made is phenomenal, but I believe P.T. Barnum said,"There is a sucker born every minute."

Just my 2 cents worth from the Toussaint point of view.

Fred Rogers was ahead of his time?

• Bill H. writes:

This ought to make the lib libs go nuts and the trans crazies as well! But us normal (the 90% who still love this country!) Americans will love this.

Patio life with the Ts

• Mike T. in Idaho writes:

Don’t ya love the Patio life!

Kinsey:

Yes, we do, Ts. I went out with our 10-year-old this weekend and bought a new bistro set with four high-top chairs that Mrs. Screencaps enjoyed Saturday afternoon. Now I just need the weather to cooperate over a full weekend. Our weekends have been threatened by rain and wildfire smoke the last two weeks. These are precious weekends we're burning through during a critical time of the year.


Let's have a great week out there across the United States. Yes, it's gonna be blazing hot. It's July. I don't want to hear any whining. You chose to live in a hot climate. Those of you heading to places like Minnesota, northern Wisconsin, Vermoney, northern Maine, etc. -- enjoy!

It's time to get back to work and be productive citizens.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by
Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America. Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league. Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.