Man Has His Plans For An Evening Or Two Of Passion Ruined When He Gets Caught Stealing Sex Toys From Walmart

Walmart really does have everything. You can drop your car off for an oil change, grab a few groceries and, if you desire, pick up a couple of sex toys before calling it a day.

I'm not going to pretend that I didn’t know the retail chain carried sex toys, because I did. Not because I'm some weirdo who buys sex toys in person. I don't, but because you're not going to toss those on the shelves and expect me not to notice.

Jeffrey Laforge is also someone, police claim, who knows all about the sex toy offerings at Walmart. The 40-year-old was arrested on Friday for a couple of alleged adult toy thefts from a Pinellas County Walmart.

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The Smoking Gun reports that the Florida man was caught on store security cameras removing the stolen items, worth around $280, from their packaging before leaving the store without paying for them.

Among the items reportedly taken and listed in the police report are various vibrators, some flavored lube, and an oral stroker. He also allegedly threw in a Reese's peanut butter ice cream.

This Florida man has been behind bars before for swiping things that didn’t belong to him

It's not clear how the ice cream valued at $3.98 plays into, if at all, what appears to be plans for a night or two of passion. In any case, those plans are likely, at the very least, on hold at the moment.

Laforge, unfortunately, has multiple theft convictions, according to TSG, and had what would normally be misdemeanor charges on stolen merchandise of less than $1,000, enhanced to felonies.

He's being held in jail on a pair of theft counts in lieu of a $10,000 bond. That's not at all how this was supposed to work out.

I don’t know what his exact plans were with several sex toys and ice cream in his possession, but I'm going to guess getting caught wasn’t anywhere in the plan. Better luck next time.