Lindsey Vonn Is Olympics-Bound, Nostalgic Toys, Toothless Chrissy Teigen & Dogs On Santa's Nice List

It was Festivus for the rest of us!

Every December 23, we come together to display our feats of strength and to air our grievances for all to hear.

Which honestly sounds like a lot of work. And let's be honest. None of y'all are working right now. I am, though. I am. Meanwhile, you're sipping bourbon, thinking about doing some last-minute present wrapping, but really you're just content to relax by the light of the Bills Yule Log.

This was brilliant, by the way. So simple, but brilliant. Nearly 30K views and counting.

I remember back when I was a social media manager for an NFL team eight years ago. I can't even imagine the response I would have gotten if I went to my boss and said, "Listen, I think we should just do a single-shot of a peaceful, crackling fire burning outside the stadium and post it to YouTube. And I think we should make it last for 10 hours."

Except the team I worked for was the Titans, and that fire would have been in a dumpster.

Forgive me, where are my manners? I'm supposed to be getting you in the Christmas spirit! So that's just what I'll do. Pour out the eggnog and let's do some Nightcaps.

Lindsey Vonn Is Olympic-Bound, Baby!

She's a queen. She's an icon. She is Lindsey freakin' Vonn.

I know alpine skiing isn't exactly high up there on the list of Americans' favorite sports, but I don't think people are appreciating enough what this woman is doing right now.

We all lost our minds when 44-year-old Philip Rivers came back to play a couple of games for the Colts, but hardly anyone batted an eye when this 41-year-old legend came back after six years of retirement and a partial knee replacement and is STILL one of the best in the whole… damn… world.

A couple of weeks ago, Lindsey became the oldest athlete ever to win a World Cup race. And now she just qualified for the Olympics!

Congrats to Lindsey. Milano Cortina 2026 is going to be electric.

All Chrissy Teigen Wants For Christmas Is Her Two Front Teeth

Well, one front tooth, actually. And it's a fake one already.

Like many Hollywood celebrities, Chrissy Teigen has a mouth full of huge, sparkly white porcelain veneers. Do you have any idea what the process of getting veneers is like? I saw it on 90 Day Fiancé. It's horrifying.

I mean, I'm not educated enough on the topic to know if this is the case for all types of veneers, but from what I've seen, they have to shave and grind down through the enamel of your actual teeth, leaving you with tiny little chiclet nubs, before they can apply the brand new pearly whites.

No offense, of course, to anyone reading this who has veneers. You do whatever you want to your own mouth. It just gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Wow, we really got off track there. My pre-Christmas brain.

Back to Chrissy Teigen. This lady accidentally knocked out one of her front veneers while doing a candy cane craft with her kids.

"This is what moms do for their kids, so you can think you grew a candy cane," she said. "I was trying to create magic — now I have no tooth."

In case you didn't want to watch that whole video, I took the liberty of grabbing this screenshot for you:

(Intagram: @chrissyteigen)

As Hank Hill would say — "BWAH!"

Look, even though Chrissy and I don't see eye to eye on much of anything, but 'tis the season to set aside our differences and love one another. So I hope Santa brings her a smooth, shiny new tooth to match her smooth brain.

And while we're in the holiday giving spirit…

In Defense of DK Metcalf

Monday I wrote about DK Metcalf's boneheaded decision to punch a fan in the face during Sunday's game.

Andy T. Writes: Hey Amber, normally we're on the same page with most things. But I don't think it's fair to say Metcalf was the one in the wrong, especially if it's true the blue wig guy had been taunting and using racial slurs. Even if they're making millions, players shouldn't have to put up with that.

Amber: I get it. I'm with you. That dude was obnoxious. And if he really was saying the things he was reportedly saying to DK, then I can see why DK retaliated the way he did. Good-natured ribbing is part of the live sports experience, but I fully support fans being escorted out of the stadium for racial slurs and genuine hate speech.

Unfortunately, as the professional in this situation, Metcalf bears the burden of keeping his cool. Chirp back, sure. But you can't respond to verbal taunting with physical assault.

As a former bartender, I can assure you: not a day went by where I didn't want to deck someone right in their halls. But I also knew doing so would result in my firing and possibly a misdemeanor.

Also, in my own defense, I did say yesterday that maybe people wouldn't be such assholes if they knew there was a very real possibility they'd be punched in the face. 

Hell, I have a longtime friend — whose name I'll withhold — who became famous for punching an opponent on the football field. And yeah, that guy had it coming. But my friend was punished royally for it. Then, he went on to become extremely successful in the league, and the other guy… well, didn't. Karma has a way of sorting things out.

With that, some wise words from Jon C:

Jon C. Writes: My favorite quote about rude society comes from pulp fiction writer Robert E. Howard — "Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing."

Nightcaps Readers Share Their Favorite Nostalgic Toys

Monday, I shared a video of The Housemaid cast attempting to explain Pogs (those little cardboard discs from the ‘90s) to Sydney Sweeney. So I asked y’all to share with me your favorite classic toys.

Fellow Millennials and Gen Xers, enjoy this walk down memory lane.

Tyler B: I was a pretty regular kid, Hot Wheels, Tonka, GI Joes, video games. But my sister had a Furby, and to this day I'm convinced that thing was possessed.

Michael S: Stretch Armstrong brings me back! One day I made it my personal mission to find out just how far Armstrong would stretch before he broke. Joke's on me, I pulled so hard I backed right into the basement stairs, fell and had to get stitches. Never did find out.

Caitlin Not exactly a "favorite toy" but along the same line as Pogs - koosh balls, silly putty and whatever those squishy tube things were called.

Jon C: I’ll have to take you back to the '70s for favorite toy (outside of the new football, basketball or baseball mitt), the OG of home video games - Pong. My friends and I would hold tournaments that rivaled March Madness.

Rune: My friends and I would play army with the little green and gray army men.

Kelly M: I think you and I are about the same age, so I'm hoping you remember Sly Dancers and Ribbon Dancers.

Amanda S: I had a Bumble Ball as a kid and now I have the adult version.

Amber:

My God, Amanda. We were having such good wholesome fun, too.

If you're lost, a Bumble Ball was a motorized plastic toy with soft rubber knobs. And it vibrated. Looking back on it, that was sort of an odd concept for a children's toy.

But if you need a last minute stocking stuffer for your wife…

I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Let's get this Polar Express back on its track.

All The Dogs Are On Santa's Nice List

Ken S. Writes: A hiking recommendation - if you ever get back to the north Alabama area, you would probably enjoy a hike to "The Walls of Jericho." It’s right on the Alabama-Tennessee line, with outstanding rock formations and lovely scenery.

Finally, I thought you might like to see our good dog - Tillie: She’s older than her weight (13 years old, 12 pounds) but still pretty spry for a girl her age.  Slowing down some but still takes her security job seriously, while still being very gentle.  I should keep this email short, so I won’t run on about what a fine girl she is.

Give Rocky a treat from us!

Amber:

Yes, Walls of Jericho is an excellent hike! My husband and I did it for the first time in March, and we really enjoyed it. The rock formations are a perfect spot for lunch before you have to make the spicy climb out.

As for Tillie, is there a more perfect name for an old lady dog? She isn't showing her age, though. Still has luscious locks and plenty of pep in her step. Probably puts the big dogs right in their place.

You tell that girl I said Merry Christmas.

Craig G. in VA Writes: I always love the Rocky updates and other dog-related stuff. Love the pic of Rocky with the suspect Santa. I don't know why Montana Tim disagrees, but he needs to know he is 100% incorrect. Though that drunk ass Santa video was hilarious. I am going to assume that guy is in whatever concussion protocol the North Pole doctors have...

Attached is this year's pic of Gunnar with Santa. Do it every year at a local brewery that hosts a fundraiser for the shelter we got him from. Was a bit sad this year as we were without sweet girl Kaia for the first Christmas since her passing in July, but he came through being goofy again and making us smile. 

He actually got to see his biological brother this year, they just sniffed b-holes and went their separate ways. Wonder if dogs recognize littermates? Good question for the class.

Hope you, your husband, and awesome Rocky have a very Merry Christmas and wonderful New Year.

Amber:

I audibly gasped when I opened this photo. What a distinguished gentleman Gunnar is. I actually bought Rocky that very same hat/beard combo in hopes I could get a picture like this. So far, he'd rather eat it than wear it. We're working on it.

But that's actually a great question — do dogs recognize their littermates after they're separated? Or their non-littermate siblings or parents? If there's a canine expert reading this, please email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com and enlighten us.

Robert D. Writes: Amber, this is Ruby. Our girl was young here but now a middle-aged beauty giving us more love than we deserve. I don’t think I’d like Tim Montana. Humans that don’t like dogs have a personality defect.

Amber:

For those who missed Monday's Nightcaps, Montana Tim made history as the first dog-hater ever to find his way to my email inbox. You might say he's barking up the wrong tree.

Ba dum tss.

Anyway, Robert, send all our love to beautiful Ruby and tell her please not to take Tim's emails personally.

Jeff M. Writes: Here is my wife's vicious Doberman posing with Santa. Merry Christmas!!!

Amber:

OKAY, DIVA.

If y'all aren't in the Christmas spirit after seeing that, then you can go ahead and expect to see three ghosts tonight. ‘Cuz you’d be a Scrooge.

Wishing you the Merriest of Christmases from Nightcaps! Zach has a Christmas Eve 'caps for you in the tank, but we're going to take Thursday off. Then be sure to come back Friday, where Matt will take you into the weekend. I'll see you beautiful people next week!

📩 Email: amber.harding@outkick.com 
Send your thoughts, stories, tips, rants and photos of your dog.

🐦 Twitter/X: @TheAmberHarding

📸 Instagram: @amberharding

Stuff I Liked - Christmas Edition!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.