KitKat Caper Steals 12 Tons Of Chocolate, Could Ruin Easter
The Easter Bunny is going to be pissed.
Easter is right around the corner, and that means if you haven't started prepping and stocking up on supplies by now, you had better get a move on.
Your coffers need to be filled with all sorts of fake grass, food dye, jelly beans, and chocolate (but not Peeps, and if you disagree, you're a degenerate).
Speaking of chocolate, there's a good chance some good little Christian boys and girls over in Europe might have an Easter basket that is a little lighter than usual this year.
It turns out the heist of the century took place earlier this week when a truck full of KitKat bars was hijacked en route across the European continent.
Looks like Christians are under attack by the pagans once again, folks.
What kind of evil monster steals a truck full of KitKat bars a week before Easter?
According to law enforcement reports, the thieves made off with more than 12 tons of chocolate, which is a staggering amount of KitKat bars if you think about it (nearly 414,000 pieces according to a report from CBS).
And again, I must ask… who would do something like this? What is the motive behind taking THAT much chocolate?
Nestle says this could cause shortages for the coming holiday, which is just heartbreaking to think about. But it hasn't stopped some hilarious memes from being created about the KitKat Caper, including some that are right up my alley imagining the Sopranos crew being behind the heist.
READ: Ranking The Major Antagonists Of 'The Sopranos'
"Yeah, Tone! I took care of that Easter basket problem, just like you said. But, uh, Uncle Jun is saying those were his trucks, and he's demanding restitution."
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
I'm not sure what these sweet thieves plan to do with all those KitKats, especially with the whole world being on heightened alert for the movement of boosted chocolate, but someone needs to get to the bottom of this fast.
Happy Resurrection Day, Jesus. Sorry your party sucks.