Kendrick Lamar Can’t Possibly Top These Past Super Bowl Halftime Performances

*Hand up* I’m not exactly Kendrick Lamar’s demo audience. A 40something white guy that hasn’t listened to hip-hop with any regularity since Wu-Tang Clan’s Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) three decades ago was rotating around my 5-disc changer.

So, it shouldn’t surprise anyone to know that when Kendrick Lamar was announced (along with SZA) as the Super Bowl LIV halftime entertainment, I wasn’t consumed with excitement.

Instead, I was asking myself, "What does he sing," and "Who the hell is SZA? Doesn’t he play for OKC?"

Again, I’m old. I know this. And the hair that now grows uncontrollably on my chest and stomach, but not my scalp, would tell you the same.

None of this has stopped me from doing my (half-assed) research on this year's act. A quick Google search tells me Lamar has 22 Grammys.

22! 

SZA has 5 of her own.

Maybe it’s time for me to pivot away from SiriusXM’s 90s on 9?

Despite my lack of enthusiasm, I’ll still be watching. It’s the Super Bowl halftime show; it’s practically a sin not to – unless the Bud Bowl or Celebrity Deathmatch is airing simultaneously. Besides, I need something to take my attention away from arguably the least-exciting Super Bowl matchup of my lifetime. The Chiefs again? Sweet. Definitely not tired of seeing them. Oh, Philadelphia? Can we squeeze in another Big Dom story, please?

Los Angeles, CA - February 2, 2025:  Kendrick Lamar at the 67th Grammys Awards held at the Crypto.com Arena in Los Angeles, CA Sunday, Feb. 2, 2025. (Jason Armond / Los Angeles Times via Getty Images)

I hope Kendrick Lamar and SZA put on a performance for the ages while I annoy my wife and kids by shouting "Play Freebird!" at the TV to hide the lack of knowledge I have about the artists’ catalogs. 

But I highly doubt they can top what I consider to be the five greatest Super Bowl halftime performances of all-time.

Conveniently, I’ve listed them below:

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5) 2004 Janet Jackson, P.Diddy (!), Nelly, Kid Rock, Justin Timberlake

Nipplegate and P.Diddy (before the baby oil stuff – maybe!) sharing a stage. Are you kidding me? There are a lot of directions I could’ve gone with this one, but I’m strictly going off of performance. Five artists just pumping through bangers, playing the hits. Just about every genre covered: high energy, a Julius Peppers Panthers jersey and a three-song stretch of Hot In Herre (that’s not misspelled, I promise), Mo Money Mo Problems and Bawitdaba. It’s like they looked directly inside my iPod Shuffle. And a nipple to close! Try and top that, Kendrick!

4) 2007 Prince

It rained during Purple Rain! You couldn’t have scripted it any better (unless you’re the NFL and their officials coordinating a Chiefs playoff run…). His Royal Badness didn't let a little rain stop him from gliding around the stage in high-heels while playing an electric guitar with more bravado than a Scott Hamilton triple axle. Prince even found time to mix in a rendition of the Foo Fighters hit Best of You. Did I mention the guitar solo silhouette? *Muah* chef's kiss.

3) 2022 Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J. Blige, Kendrick Lamar (Wait, Really?) Ft. Special Guests 50 Cent And Anderson .Paak

Did I have any idea Kendrick Lamar performed at Super Bowl LVI in Cali with these hip-hop legends? Nope. Completely forgot about it. Honestly, no recollection. But it doesn't take away from what is possibly the best open to a halftime show of all-time. Dr. Dre in front of the keys before the first few notes of The Next Episode hit. Then, quickly, Snoop enters in a blue and yellow sweat suit (that definitely costs more than my car), dropping his iconic verse. An upside down fat 50 Cent appears singing In Da Club - a song that is actually illegal to turn off - and moments later, Eminem goes all 8 Mile on us with Lose Yourself. All seven artists close with Still D.R.E.. Be still my heart. If I was a good enough athlete in high school to have a Letterman jacket, there's no way I wouldn't have taken a trip down Memory Lane and tossed that bad boy on while these sweet sounds impregnated my eardrums. 

2) 2018 Justin Timberlake

Timberlake's second Super Bowl halftime performance, this time sans nipplegate! Timberlake had more energy than anyone inside Minnesota's U.S. Bank Stadium that evening. 11 hits. JT set out to please the crowd, which is exactly what he did. Bonus to Timberlake for not only his singing, but also incorporating an array of choreographed dance moves that I couldn't execute if I had four legs, three arms and Shakira's hips. A legendary performance was punctuated by two unforgettable moments in JT's set. Roughly halfway through, Timberlake paid homage to Prince (the game was being played in Prince's hometown of Minneapolis) by playing piano and singing to Prince's I Would Die 4 U as a video of Prince singing the same song was projected onto a screen behind Timberlake. Later, Timberlake closed his set by dancing his way down the stadium's steps and taking a viral selfie with a young fan. This was the best thing Pepsi's backed since Cindy Crawford. 

1) 2014 Bruno Mars And (Guests) The Red Hot Chili Peppers

The first of two Bruno Mars Super Bowl performances (he joined Coldplay for one song during their 2016 set at Super Bowl 50). It gets no better than this one. Bruno Mars did it all: he sang, he danced, he played drums for the Chili Peppers, he incorporated the military. This was Mars' version of a perfect game. The performance is flawless and includes enough variety to keep everyone entertained. It's physically impossible not to tap your toes when watching this. I'd argue that more people signed up for drum and/or dance lessons after watching this Super Bowl halftime show than at any other time in history. If Joel Embiid jumped as much as Bruno Mars did in those 12 minutes, he'd be forced to retire. A Children's choir, a drum solo, and six surefire hits. Not even weirdo Russell Wilson lurking nearby on the eventual Super Bowl-winning Seahawks' sideline could ruin this all-timer. 

No way the dymnaic duo of Kendrick Lamar and SZA are touching any of these five performances. Agree or disagree with me at your own risk (anthony.farris@outkick.com), I'll be ready. As the fellas from Wu-Tang cautioned: If you want beef, then bring the ruckus. 

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