Katie Williams Claims She Wants A Cowboy, Johnny Manziel's Opening A Bar & Tiger's Masters Odds
Let's get a final list of guys who want to play golf Monday just south of Augusta at Applewood Golf Course
I know there were some who wanted to join in next Monday, but that was like a month ago and plans change. I just called Applewood yesterday and Diana, the nicest lady to ever answer a golf course phone, confirmed Canoe Kirk and I have club rentals and that there are tee times available before and right after our 12:06 tee time.
The weather looks perfect. I know it's early, the weather in GA changes, etc., but now is the time to get serious. Who's in, who's out? Do I have enough bodies to make Canoe Kirk a team captain while I take another group?
Let's figure out our final plan. I'd love nothing more than to call Diana and tell her we're bringing two more groups. Don't worry if you're a hacker. Canoe Kirk and I will have our fair share of doubles and a triple on a Par 3 with water. There will be ZERO pressure to be a good golfer. We're in town for a good time, not a long time.
Or, if you just want to come hang at the 19th hole for a beer, stop by. We'll be there.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
Now the Masters hat-buying process stress is building
Just when I was getting over the stress of where to put down our Masters chair roots next Tuesday in Augusta, One Leg Bell from my text group tagged Canoe Kirk and I on this video that explains the Masters hat-buying process.
It's no wonder I'm not sleeping great this week.
Between what to order for breakfast at The Masters, to what to order at lunch and where to put our chairs to take a load off during the afternoon when we start crushing beers in the most perfect conditions unlike anything our eyes will ever see again, this trip is starting to take its toll.
Now comes the hat selection process. More than likely, I'm going to get one chance in life to get this right. This hat has to survive the upcoming decades of life (fingers crossed). It has to stay cool when styles and the times change. Will I want a wide-rimmed Masters hat to wear when I'm in my 60s golfing with fellow old timers (fingers crossed)? Do I go crispy white with the yellow masters logo and pray I can prevent sweat stains?
These are the thoughts going through my head this week as we count down the hours until that Delta bird takes flight straight down I-75 to ATL and hopefully makes a safe landing and Canoe Kirk and I survive one of the most important flights of our lives.
To make matters worse…last night, I continued watching a PBS Frontline episode where they investigate why so many Boeing 737s have crashed. That probably wasn't the best choice of viewing this week when I just need that Delta plane to land safely.
In order to clear my head a little bit, I'm going to read this book over the next few days. Yes, I have a ton to do before that Sunday night flight, but I want my brain to understand the Masters on a deeper level than just this tournament that popped up on CBS throughout my life. Plus, it will help me calm down over things like the hat-buying process.
• Bruce in Decatur, IL suggests a place for our chairs:
There’s a little ridge behind the green at 16, near the TV camera booth, where you can see the action on 16 coming right at you, the shots in to 15, and the groups tee off on 17. I took my Nikon with a lightweight 70-300 zoom and a sling bag, to make it east to pack around. Got some good shots…
• Charles, whose Texas Tech dancer daughter famously became The Masters Girl, writes:
Set those bad boys up on 16 green (it is a magical place) as soon as you get there and then go do your thing. Yes, throw something on your chair too (TNML sticker) so you can find it easily. You'll return to those seats later in the day when you're exhausted and someone may be keeping them warm for you. In addition to seeing 16 (and maybe some skipping), you can also catch a glimpse of 15 approach, 17 tee, and/or move quickly to hole 6 to catch some action if needed. The bathrooms, concessions, and shops are all close by. After you set up your chairs on 16 and leave them, go grab a breakfast chicken sandwich and keep every Masters drink cup as a souvenir (that is fine china in our house)! Enjoy Disneyland lines for the shops and then probably ship that stuff back home via the great folks at UPS. Plan on a four-figure bill and more than one stop at the shops! Luckily you feel better about that expense when you can get 3 square meals for around $10 a piece. Rather than blowing $20+ on one drink like at most sporting events, you're spending that on a Masters hat!
After breakfast, walk the course as much as you can, but hit the range as that is where you see a lot of action. Most folks get tired quickly as it is super hilly and exhausting. Head to the back nine and find some grand stand seating at Amen corner for a couple hours and maybe enjoy lunch at that point. Bring your sunscreen as the sun usually beats down heavily there at Amen Corner and not much shade unless you're closer to 13. Then go to your seats you set up on 16 for the latter part of the day and enjoy the moment with your favorite drink and a Georgia peach ice cream sandwich.
Masters shoes
With all the walking around the shoes better be comfy and forecast looks great for now (no rain). Loved all the loyal reader comments on the subject and they all have valid points, but I've never worn golf shoes there - ever. Even my Jordan golf shoes won't make the cut (just regular comfy bball jordans do the trick). Wearing golf shoes puts you in golf dork territory real quick and dates you as well. Dare I say goofy golf pant territory (aka Happy Gilmore) where you'd be kicking your own a^&. Finally, last thing you will want to do is to ruin those fancy new white golf shoes you just splurged on. I ruined my shoes last year in the rain/mud but they were an older/comfy pair that I was able to part ways with (pic below). Imagine ruining a newer pair of Jordan golf shoes or G4 at $250 a piece! Now those comfy shoes are touching heavenly grass (yes I'm from Colorado).
Once you're back to your seats on 16, you may be tempted to put your feet in the grass for a brief moment and you'll be in heaven... But not for too long as someone will tell you to put our shoes back on! I’ve also seen dudes laying on the ground or falling asleep - they will make you sit up and/or wake up. You’re generally allowed to sit but not lay down looking like one is passed out or asleep. Perhaps though on practice round days they aren't as strict.
Everything is a glorious experience - even the bathrooms.
Yes, even the bathroom experience is memorable and is like an assembly line - they have it down to a science. You’ll be greeted with "front nine?" for a urinal or "back 9?" for the toilet with at least 20 young dudes getting people in n out of that place as fast as possible with as little mess as possible. If you’re on the front 9 you’ll hear "Two shakes - two shakes" yelling in your ear army style / aka Forrest Gump. They’ll say some other fun stuff too but will leave that to your surprise and imagination - you'll never forget it.
Mike D. knows his stuff and has great suggestions BTW! After the round you'll head across Washington road and see the "John Daly is Here" signs clearly outlined at Hoots. Better grab an energy drink as typically things heat up at night so you should be fine to catch him that evening. Head West for our favorite local spot though - Rhinehart's Oyster Bar and Grill. John Daly won't be there but good local dive spot that has been a family favorite (no endorsement).
The greatest thing about next week is the whole town is all about the Masters the whole week. Everything and everywhere you go it's golf! The airport, every restaurant, store, etc. Every TV has the Masters on or the Golf Channel on. If a movie is on it will be Caddyshack - it is a beautiful thing.
Finally, have the time of your LIFE and Enjoy!!
• Paul in Huntsville, AL tells us his Masters story. Read until the end:
Reading the responses to your Masters prep work reminded me about the one time I had the opportunity to attend - on Sunday. 1999, I'm 30, two years into the Tiger era. My friend Jimmy - a consultant that did a lot of work for my employer - calls me up on Wednesday before the Masters and says, "Paul, I've got badges for Sunday at Augusta, do you want to go?" I responded, "Where do I meet you? " I lived in Birmingham at the time, Jimmy was in Atlanta.
We set everything up right there on the phone. Jimmy had a little Augusta experience so he knew what to do. I hung up, called my wife and told her about the call from Jimmy, silence, then my heart dropped with one sentence, " Dear, David is being dedicated at Church Sunday." David is my oldest son who was about 8 months old at the time. The sudden rush of August adrenaline from Jimmy had shrouded all memories of a pending baby dedication.
I told her that there would be future baby dedications but I didn't know if I would ever get this opportunity. But family was coming, a meal was planned, we were already on the service agenda. At the time I naively thought, I'll get another chance. 25 years later, still no. Reading your responders makes me realize, indeed, there would have been other baby dedications!
I'll be watching next week, as always.
• Matt in NOLA shares advice:
Love the enthusiasm Joe. Hope you have a ball on your first trip to the cathedral of golf. Think someone said it earlier, it’s a time warp back to better days.
Since you asked, my advice is to skip the chair. Don’t do it.
If you are there for one day only, you’re going to walk the course at least twice, grab some lunch and probably split the remainder of your time at Amen corner and 16 – how are you working sitting in in a chair in one place into that?
I prefer to start at the first hole, just to see the course the way the players do, and as for the shop, IMO on the way out is the only way to go.
It's Tuesday, and the shop will be selling merch till Sunday night. They aren’t going to run out of anything important on Tuesday, and you’ll have a huge list of things to buy for your friends. On the way out is the way to go.
As for where to spend time, as beautiful as Amen corner is, my money is on 16. If you get the right spot you can watch them practice on 15th and 16th green with the skipping across the pond. Enjoy!!!
Kinsey:
What about the gnomes I've heard about? I read those sell out on Monday.
• Scott in Ridgeland, SC writes:
Very under rated but head directly to #2 green put your chair there. You can see #1 tee and watch balls land with a bunch of action. Once you set you chair down walk the course. Also don’t forget about merch tent on back 9 near 16. A little less impressive but also less crowded! Enjoy and hope for no severe weather.
• David P. in New Braunfels, TX says:
If you get the right spot you can see 12 green and the action on my favorite hole 13.
High in the bleachers left of 15 green we could also see 16.
When we were there for a tournament round, behind 2 green was fun to watch them try to reach in 2 and putt for eagles and birdies.
• Anonymous Masters Worker who works The Masters so he can see some of The Masters writes:
Re your chair placement question. On any tournament day, I would say Amen corner is the place to be. However, for the practice rounds, my pick would be right behind the tee box on 16. If memory serves me correct, last year on Monday, they started out at the very back of the tee box so close to the ropes you could reach out and grab the club in their backswing. Then moved up a few feet for Tuesday and a little more for Wednesday. The loudest cheers and best vibe during the practice rounds are there at 16 since the players uniformly try to skip a ball across the pond after their tee shots. That is what the patrons love to see.
Re Masters vet Mike D.:
Bullet point #1 re golf shoes, no unless its raining/wet from rain and you have no other options
Bullet point #2 re golf shop (ANGC prefers to call them golf shops), topic has been covered so you can check them
Bullet point #3 re arrival time, yes get there as early as possible and you know that by now. We see patrons lined up at the entrance on our shuttle ride in at 6 am.
Bullet point #4 re walk the course backwards, good idea and one of the things multiple people told me that I haven’t done yet is to check out the view from behind the 18 tee box looking UP the 18 fairway. It’s on my list of things to do this year while there.
Bullet point #5 re driving range, good idea but only if you were there multiple days. Probably not enough time to squeeze that in one day
Bullet point #6 re 10th tee, no opinion on that BUT, you do need to make your way in front of the clubhouse and get your picture taken with the floral Masters logo there. There will be a line and it's a Masters tradition/courtesy that you take the picture for the group/couple/person in front of you
Bullet point #7 re end of day, another good idea, you may be able to hear the mowers while waiting in line in the morning. It’s my favorite time of the day walking from the shuttle drop off to my concession stand with mowers running everywhere in the predawn darkness
Now, I think there are 2 entrances. The north/main gate and the South Gate. The north/main gate routes you past the main golf shop and takes you to hole #1 on the course. That golf shop is like the local mall at the opening bell on a Black Friday back in the 80s. Chaos, non stop until closing. The other golf shop is by the entrance of the South Gate. It has everything the main shop does its just not as big but was still chaotic everytime I was in there. So, the north gate is like Omaha beach and the South Gate is like Utah beach.
The reason I mention the South Gate entrance and golf shop is because of Mike D’s bullet point #4 re walking the course. That entrance brings you out on the course at the 13 green/14 tee box. 16 tee is right there as well as hole 15. The concession stand he refers to is stand 15 which is where I work pouring beer for patrons. It’s a good spot for ingress/egress to the course, the restrooms are right there with a phone bank and you could make more than one trip to the golf shop if you wanted to. Invariably, you will probably see someone wearing something you like during the day but didn’t see in the golf shop the first trip through and may want to go back and get one. If hole 16 or Amen corner is your destination for chair placement, that’s the entrance to come in.
Be sure to pick up one or more spectator guides while you wait in line to get in. They are chock-full of Masters history and are a good read for your flight home. A stand giving out pairing sheets for that days practice round is right there by the concession stand as you come onto the course.
As if they were reading Screencaps on Tuesday
Our itinerary has officially been updated.
I continue to be fascinated by the volume of knowledge Jackson has been able to consume, comprehend and recite about John Deere tractors and farming
In a recent Instagram post, one of his parents posted that the boy is just 8 years old. EIGHT. That means he's in either second or third grade.
Youth sports entrance fees
• Travel Ball Hardo Chris B. in Houston writes:
It's very customary to pay at least $5 daily to get into varsity baseball games & also select ball tournaments. And now many events are accepting electronic payments only, so we have to download their app and what used to cost $5 then costs $7 with the online payment fee that is not optional. In the summer high school select teams usually play Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday so it's at least $20 per person per event in entrance fees, usually more.
• Brian in Arizona writes:
How is this for outrageous? We have 2 daughters in gymnastics, who competed at different times/sessions at a complex in Mesa, Arizona that would have gymnastics meets, basketball tournaments, and baseball/softball tournaments going on at the same time, all day and night, all weekend. You had to pay to park, and with tax the entrance fees was $36 x 4 for 2 sessions, since our daughters were in different sessions. The reason it's x4 is because their grandparents, who are elderly and on a fixed income, can’t spare the money and there was no my wife and I would ever not have her parents there to watch their grandchildren compete. And my kids want Grandma and Grandpa there to see them. So it cost my wife and I about $160 to watch our daughters compete.
I guarantee you there are many grandparents not seeing their grandchildren over those prices. Please don’t forget about them in your posts about this subject.
The place, formerly Legacy Park but now Arizona Athletic Grounds, is enormous, and you would think they’d be raking in the money. But no, the first owners, despite charging confiscatory prices, filed for bankruptcy and the new owners are now charging extortionist prices.
https://85209.com/local/legacy-park-emerges-from-bankruptcy-gets-new-name/
• Brad S. emails:
Our 7th grade CYO tournaments were $5 per person and had a "family" option of $15. Those Youngstown prices are crazy!
Also, did you notice the 1950 Fiat "boatcar" pic came from Wetwang, England? (Sorry. I am well past my 13th birthday, but I laughed.)
Cub Cadet double bagger on a ⅓ acre?
• Dean B. in Monroe, Georgia has seen enough:
Referencing Andrew K. Let me ask you, as a doer of "Hard Things". Why would someone need a riding mower to mow 1/3 of an acre? What size yard does one need to justify a riding mower? To me, and I have maybe 2/3s of an acre, a rider was useless. Hilly, fences, trees. Even if I did use a rider I would still have to follow up with a push mower. 1/3d acre u could get away with a battery mower, which is what I use now. I consider my mowing exercise. Get off ur ass and "Hard Things."
The Collection® is real and it's spectacular
Lump vs. briquettes answers for Mike T.
• Guy G., who has been MIA checks in and he has a good reason for being MIA:
It's been some time since I've been able to read, let alone email. After 2 straight months on the road, kidney failure/edema put me in the hospital for 2.5 weeks. YIKES!! I do not recommend. I see to be back on track now, just a little slower
Solid BBQ question today. As a veteran bbq guy, who prefers charcoal over gas, I only use briquettes for starting the big smoker. This allows me to get heat in early, without compromising the flavor of the meat. By the time the smoker gets to the 225-275*, the charcoal is long gone, and only wood gets into the meat.
For my everyday charcoal, lump is the only way to go. Because it's not processed as much, you don't get any binder into the meats. Plus, lump will light faster, and heat longer. I'm able to cook 3-5lb roasts in the Dutch oven over lump, without having to add charcoal.
Royal Oak charcoal is made in America, and has been consistent for me. It's also easy to find. Be careful on what type of charcoal you're buying, as there are a lot of them that aren't made here.
• Cord in Sandy Springs, GA writes:
In response to Mike T from Idaho, I would always recommend lump charcoal over briquettes. I have been grilling for 40 years including a brief 8 year stint on the BBQ competition circuit in and around Georgia. We actually competed at the National BBQ Championships in Washington DC years back. Never won a grand championship but had some wins and good results but always used Royal Oak Lump Charcoal. It burns cleaner ( no fillers ) and a lot longer than briquettes and imparts a better flavor than most briquettes on their best day. It is a very consistent product. Supplement them with your smoking wood chips of choice and you can put out some tasty grilled meats.
You can start them easy enough with a propane torch or in a chimney starter using a " tumbleweed". If you are doing burgers or dogs on the weber, you wont need as much and what doesn’t burn when you shut off the air supply to the grill can be reused.
If you are smoking something low and slow, you probably wont need to add any during the cook unless it is for a long period of time.
Most of the time, you can find it at Lowes or Home Depot. Reasonably priced compared to some of the others on the market or at specialty retailers. If you are lucky, you might even find a can or rock in the bag possibly due to quality control issues in manufacturing.
Here is what the bag looks like.
• Joe St.A. in California writes:
I have to say if you are doing tri-tip, you HAVE to use seasoned split red oak. I live on the central coast of California, so red oak is abundant. One of the very few good things left about living on California.
Keep up the good work.
• Rory M. suggests:
Mike T. has the basics down for usage.
Briquettes are packed coal and have chemicals, so you want to burn those until grey before cooking over them. Quick cooks like he's already doing.
Lump should be whole wood chunks burned into coals and little to no chemicals. You don't have to get the complete fire raging to cook on them, which is why they're preferred for long cooks. Also, if using a ceramic grill never use briquettes.
I used Jealous Devil for a long time, even before they started showing up in Academy, Lowes, etc. It lights fast, burns slow, and burns hot. Sometimes a little too hot, but you get used to it. Recently switched to Meat Head when my local butcher shop started carrying it. It's a Georgia company, so like to help out locals. It's as close to Jealous Devil as I've found: https://www.meatheadcharcoal.com/
• Kevin D. writes:
Americas test kitchen covered this in an interview with a grill master. Apparently it’s all briquettes at the competitive level - the consistent size and shape means you get more consistent heat and cooking times.
The latter I’ve found to be a problem with lump - a lot of times it’s more chips than lumps and those can burn up very fast.
Another thing to keep in mind - is to use the ‘two level fire’ system. Which basically means bank the coals up against one side of the grill so there’s a hot and cold side. This has the dual benefit of making the hot side of the grill hotter for searing (without having to use a ton of charcoal to fill the whole grill) and cooking control to move your blackened/seared food over to a cool side to finish cooking through.
And if the desire is to add smoke look for apple wood chips - they can be thrown directly on the coals and then cover. I love these for thinly sliced marinated flank steak that’s skewered and just kissed over high heat, moved to the cool side, then smoked briefly. The apple wood actually brings a little bit of sweetness with the smoke. Other fruit woods are good to but avoid mesquite - it can be a fairly acrid flavor especially with extended smoking.
Biggest problem with charcoal these days is the cost. I’m burning 15 dollars worth of rocks to make some chicken these days. A crack habit would be cheaper.
Evel the Screencaps closer
• Ridge Runner writes:
I've been enjoying the pictures of Evel Knievel, what a character from the '70s and a hero of our youth. I got the chance to meet Evel one wild night in LA on the Sunset Strip. We'd been enjoying the festivities of a bachelor party at the Seventh Veil, a legendary Hollywood strip club (one imagines the prettiest girls from little towns across America moving to LA to be a movie star and ending up there) when I bounced and went down the street a ways to a dive bar (wish I remembered the name). It wasn't crowded, so I go to the bar and order a drink, and who's sitting there chatting with the bartender but Evel Knievel. I sat in there and talked to him for a good hour, he was interested that I was from the Nashville area and actually knew my hometown and some places to go there. Mostly, though, he was pissed off and bitching about life. Outside of Nashville, any topic I brought up, he had a negative take on it. I enjoyed the experience, but my overwhelming takeaway was Evel was a drunken, bitter old man.
There's a very interesting book on Evel I'd recommend, Evel: The High-Flying Life of Evel Knievel, American Showman, Daredevil and Legend by Leigh Montville, who also wrote a book on Ted Williams.
Evel is a fascinating figure, a bit of an asshole by most accounts, but balls dragging the ground.
Kinsey:
This is why we're lucky to have RidgeRunner around Screencaps. Where else are you going on the Internet to talk The Masters and then read real-life experiences readers have had with content machines like Evel?
Nowhere.
That's why Screencaps is winning the content race day after day.
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That's it. I'm telling you, the email inbox was FLOODED Tuesday. It typically is when I ask about The Masters, but Tuesday things were nuts. I see your emails. I'm reading them. I'm studying everything you have to say, but we'd have a 15,000-word edition if I included all of them.
I can't say thank you enough. This column is an absolute treasure to edit and write on a daily basis.
Let's go have an incredible Wednesday. I know it's a random Wednesday in April, but those are the Wednesdays that typically turn into something of note. Make it count.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com