Jena Sims Sucks Down A Cold Draft Beer At The Masters As Brooks Surges, Golfer Blows Up A Toilet & MEAT!
Jena Sims is one of the only Masters wives and girlfriends who's willing to suck down a beer at the course.
Imagine spending all night on the toilet, waking up and walking Augusta National
This was actually my worst nightmare in 2024 when Canoe Kirk and I crushed a big plate of Hooters wings at Hooters, a couple of pitchers of draft beer and who knows what else the night before we rolled into Augusta National.
It could've gone really bad. It could've been like the night Haotong Li battled through Thursday night. Here's Li explaining how he spent the night on the toilet before going out and getting himself into contention — for second place, because Rory is going to win by four strokes, at least.
The other big news Friday is that one of our Screencaps readers turned into something of a Masters sensation with his report from the Masters sandwich production facility. Here's the thread if you haven't read it yet.
That thread has nearly 350,000 views. I'll say it again: Screencaps succeeds because it's Real America. It's the America that people are interested in. They are fascinated by how much a worker is paid per hour to make sandwiches for the Masters. And how much access that job offers.
They want to picture themselves in these positions.
Between Anonymous Masters Employee's beer foaming report and Anonymous Masters Sandwich Maker's honest assessment of his job, the two tweet threads have combined for 900,000 views on Twitter.
That's massive.
Cutting through the Masters noise is tough. You guys accomplished that this week. It's truly been impressive.
Screencaps has sources all over the Augusta National grounds
— John from Augusta writes:
What a great article about Kelce and Kevin Hart. I live in Augusta and drive by the National every day. They don’t need these characters to add anything to the Masters coverage. It is so classy and well done they don’t need these peripheral players as I can’t figure out what they are trying to accomplish? If you want a sports guy from ESPN get Stephen A he is knowledgeable and has class!
— Kahuna emails:
I am not alone in being sick and tired of the hobbit Kevin Hart. His commercials with Lebron and Verizon are not funny or entertaining. He’s a damn annoying Hobbit and has no business on the sacred grounds of Augusta … worse than a Verizon cell phone for sure.
— Paul emails:
You showed the magazine the other day with Rory and his name mis-spelled. So I am watching the Masters Thursday, and my wife walks in. I told her about the magazine and pulled up the issue on Ebay for a laugh. Incredibly, at that moment, CBS has Rory in the interview cabin, after his round, and they do it too! What is going on?! Funny part is that just a minute before, they had it correct. It was like my TV heard me and is just messing with me.
Contact me this weekend…yes, I'll be here tomorrow because SeanJo is off and hunting for Big Foot
Seriously, he's in the woods — I think somewhere in North Carolina, maybe West Virginia — hunting for squatch.
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Here we goooooooo! Soccer players are being advised to avoid playing for their high school teams
As I was saying…high school sports will cease to exist as you and I knew them as high schoolers and it's going to happen in record time. Remember: Adults making money off of cheap labor — high school kids and parents who have a severe case of FOMO — killed youth rec baseball, and it will eventually kill high school sports.
Drip…drip….drip.
Should a network play Sandlot on loop on July 4 like Christmas Story is played on a loop on Christmas Day?
— Mike in Texas loves this idea:
I'm 100% behind your reader, Tom W. or Tim W. for suggesting playing the Sandlot on a loop on our great Nation's Independence Day, July 4th. Tim or Tom is a fricking genius!
I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free
E-bikes, mopeds and e-scooters
— Rory M. has a take:
What do fat girls and mopeds have in common? They're both fun to ride until your friends see you.
The Artemis splash down
— Phil in Florida was watching last night:
I just watched 4 brave souls splash down in the Pacific Ocean, behind a team of brilliant engineers, scientists, mechanics, and I’m sure many other talented people. It’s inspiring, especially for me as a very scientific-minded person who loves everything space and the cosmos. I couldn’t help but think of 2 things as the astronauts came home.
1: What a massive tragedy it was when Obama cut huge amounts of funding to NASA, arguably the greatest scientific organization to ever exist, and what else we could have accomplished by now had he not.
2: It took NASA over 2 years to build, and perfectly execute a rocket launch carrying passengers around the moon using tax payer money while using their own developed technology, but California can’t figure out a high-speed rail system that multiple other countries have already been using for years while also using tax payer money in a much longer timespan? Vote better blue states.
Screencaps college basketball fans are STILL going at it!
— Doug fires back at Robin:
Not sure why Robin from Kernersville is dragging me into the physical basketball NBA/NCAA discussion, as I didn’t mention it, but I’m here now.
I think the college game has gotten very physical recently. I was jokingly calling Illinois a bunch of bullies to my buddy who is an alum, for the way they were pushing people around in the early rounds of the tournament. Just unvarnished shoving with little nuance. Didn’t love it, but had to respect that they were testing the boundaries of the refs whistles. UCONN’s issue was they couldn’t adjust when the fouls started to be called.
By the way, I love watching clips of the Old School NBA when it was super physical. Amazing to see what they would get away with.
Robin, loved Kernersville the one time I was in town!! Cool place.
Have any of you ever tried this fake $100 move on foreign soil?
— Brandon in NW Houston observes:
That seems like a good way to get yourself dead.
— Rural Minnesota Dave responds:
Re: scamming 3rd world locals overseas with fake $100 bills - all it takes is one guy who has one of those $2 brown markers for testing bills to call his brother-in-law, who is the local police chief, and you wind up in some sweaty hellhole of a prison, walking out in 5 years weighing 80 pounds with an asshole big enough to park a Harley-Davidson in. I'll pass...
— ‘Sheriff’ Big John in Houston isn't so sure about this plan:
Is just as illegal in foreign countries as it is in the United States. Even US law says so. The Treasury Dept and Federal Reserve keep track (as best they can) of currency traded overseas and counterfeit bills passed overseas can debase the currency just as much as counterfeit bills passed domestically. North Korea is major offender in this regard.
I get the joke of duping unsuspecting foreigners with fake bills, but just in case anyone takes that suggestion seriously, they could get into some serious legal trouble here at home if they ever tried it. Not to mention trying to pass through airport security with it to even get it overseas. You’ll get the attention of every federal agent within 30 miles.
But yeah, I do agree, it’s a funny idea.
Comedian comes up with a quarter-zip punchline
Is Leanne Morgan secretly using Screencaps as a content source? Some are alleging.
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That is it for this Saturday morning. The sun is out. I have a baseball practice to run and spring is in the air. Let's get after it today.
Go have a great one.
Reminder: I'll be here tomorrow (Sunday) for SeanJo, so please send me some emails. I'll need content.