NJ Police In The Hunt For Criminals Who Damaged Mini Golf Course Humpty Dumpty
It's unclear why they did it, but mini golf can be frustrating
Police in New Jersey are trying to solve a disturbing crime that took place at a Cape May mini golf facility that left a Humpty Dumpty statue damaged.
There aren't enough kingsmen in the world to put him back together again… actually, a tube of Gorilla glue could probably handle it, but still… not cool.
According to the Associated Press, two men were spotted on camera entering Ocean Putt Golf around 4 am this past weekend and could be seen removing a Humpty Dumpty statue from the mini-golf course.
They left it and later dumped it down the street.
As you can see, the vintage figure was heavily damaged, and police are still searching for the culprits.
Now, there's no motive yet… but I have a guess.
Is there anything more frustrating than mini golf? I mean, as far as things that are meant to be fun, no.
I enjoy it, but I think it gets me more irate than regular golf. If — I mean, when — I shank a ball into the drink, it's not fun, but at least there's not some statue of Little Miss Muffet sitting there and mocking me afterward.
And God help you if you play with youngsters. Those little ̶m̶o̶n̶s̶t̶e̶r̶s̶ angels always end up sinking an ace without even trying. Meanwhile, you're down on your hands and knees trying to read an astroturf green and bogey-ing every hole.
Like, do you realize what an ego gut-punch it is to take multiple strokes to hit a golf ball through a windmill? Soul-crushing.
I'm no Columbo, but it makes me wonder if one of these fellas had an off day on the mini-links and, after a few sips of Grandpa's old cough syrup, decided to let Humpty Dumpty know how he felt about him.
Hopefully, we'll learn when Cape May's finest slap some cuffs on the perps.