Hooters Sloan Needs Someone To Mow Her Lawn, Phillies Fan Gives A Lap Dance & Egg Prices Are Dropping Like A Rock
10U House Ball Game 3 report
What typically happens when the pitching staff struggles to find the plate, walks pile up, the defense struggles, a team doesn't hit very well and the opposing team's top pitcher -- this big kid is really starting to grow on me...it's the kid who can hit adult-size bombs well into the outfield...and now it turns out he can throw heat -- throws strikes?
You lose.
The team we run-ruled on Saturday got its revenge and won something like 11-7 or 12-7. Doesn't matter. We lost.
Now, we had our chances. Our kids had a big 4th inning and things got real interesting when the bases were loaded and one of our top hitters was up. He struck out.
We hit the time limit and that was game.
Highlights:
• I had my first opposing parent who had a problem with me over how I sent one of my runners at third base home by tugging on his jersey top just as a dad would do to get his kid out the door when he's not paying attention.
Opposing dad down the line had a problem with that. I calmly turned around and said, "Trust me, I'm not trying to cheat."
He replied, "I didn't say you were cheating."
I didn't reply back. I moved on.
It will be interesting to see if this dad takes time out of his busy life to volunteer to run the coaches clinic to share wisdom he's gained in the world of sports.
Yes, I made a big mistake by even addressing the guy because it's what he wanted. It actually caught me off-guard and that's why I even reacted, but it was a big lesson for a rookie coach.
• The kid who had missed the first two games of the season looked at me and said he now understands baseball because he recently attended a professional game. I was happy to hear that.
Daddy Ball Report:
I'm pretty sure he played 3-4 positions, had a tough bases loaded play on a dribbler to him at third that he correctly charged and had no choice but to come home with the throw, but the ball bounced out of the catcher's mitt. In better defensive news, he handled a routine grounder at third and threw it all the way across the diamond for an out. Nothing makes me prouder than a Baseball 101 play.
On offense, he stayed perfect at the plate, but got doubled off in the first inning on a bad base-running error on a fly ball behind 1st base and the other team's best player playing the position. It wasn't Baseball 101 from my son.
That's it for baseball for the next seven days. It'll be nice to have a break. I have other projects to work on.
10U house ball nicknames
• Money in Bowling Green, KY writes:
So, the 10U team is past preseason and into games and you're still calling the kids by their given names? Man, you are a rookie! Having three Lukes shouldn't be a problem because they should be called something along the lines of Ace, Deuce, & Trey by now. When those young men are between the lines, they are no longer their parent's kids. They are yours. Time to start tagging these kids with nicknames. Some will carry these for a lifetime.
Kinsey:
I will strive to do better.
Millennial Mike asked for 'Dadvice' that he could compile into a Screencaps 'Dadvice' database and you guys delivered
• Rick D. in Brentwood, TN writes:
Dreams are achieved by setting goals, goals are achieved in steps, the best time to take a step towards a goal is today.
• Bryan H. writes:
Not something to bestow upon a four-year-old, but Willie Nelson had three rules for his sons, Lukas and Micah:
1. Don't be an a$$hole
2. Don't be an a$$hole
3. Don't be a GD a$$hole
Willie isn't the greatest role model, but this ain't necessarily bad advice.
• Bart writes:
I have one that is truer than one thinks. Especially for the teenager/college aged kid.
• Paul B. writes:
My dad (and mom for that matter) moved down to Naples FL. from Kentucky in the early 50's, when there was absolutely nothing here, and finished high school. My dad is from the hills so he's always been a redneck.
I tell you this in case this sentence comes off as ultra redneck but he always told me and my sister "If you are going to be dumb you gotta be tough". Now, that seems like a very simplistic, overly harsh sentence, but it really taught me to be smart.
Do smart things, be cautious yet not fearful, hang out with the right crowd, trust your gut, etc. and when you do something dumb don't wallow in it. Grab yourself by the bootstraps and pull yourself up. That teaches resolve and how to overcome the things in life that will happen.
Nothing good happens after midnight.
• Dillon in Crosby, North Dakota has 'Dadvice':
Hey Joe, here are a few lines that I try to live by:
* Rule #1 in life: don't be an idiot. - I teach this to my 5th graders every year, I laugh when I coach the same kids in high school and they still remember "not to be an idiot"... sometimes.
- as quoted by Dwight schrute "I think would an idiot do this? If so, I do not do that thing."
* "Any mistake is fine, as long as you learn from it." My dad instilled this into me my whole life when I made mistakes large or small.
* "Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard." It's as cliche' as hell, but it rings true at all times. I'd much rather have a hard working player, employee, etc. compared to someone who is a waste of God-given talent.
• Bill S. in Nashville writes:
ALWAYS be kind. You never know what someone is going through.
• John L. writes:
Will Rogers: "I never met a man that I didn't like."
I learned this from my own father, and it has served me well. I truly believe that this attitude helped my path to become a Managing Director at Citibank (when there were only 3,000 MDs out of about 300,000 employees).
• Chris C. writes:
Here’s my go-to from a book that should be on everyone’s list -“My Personal Best” - John Wooden. His dad gave him the “2 sets of 3’s” to live by:
Never lie, never cheat, never steal
Don’t whine, don’t complain, don’t make excuses
• Rob DeG. writes:
Found this on my laptop, sent it to my son when he went into the Air Force. The first 10 or so are my favorites.
Learn to accept but avoid having to settle. Know the difference.
Always stand to shake someone’s hand. Always.
Give a firm handshake.
Luck favors the prepared. Fate favors the bold.
No matter their job or status, everyone deserves your respect.
Always look a person in the eye when you talk to them.
If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
If you aren’t confident, fake it. It will come around.
Women find confidence sexy as hell.
The most important thing you can learn is responsibility and accountability.
Bad things happen; it’s your job to overcome them.
The first one to get angry loses.
• Kevin in Toboso, OH writes:
I loved my pops and he was a great man. He could pretty much discuss any topic and fix anything. Self taught man. This was all without the help of youtube.
He also battled cancer through my high school years. Beating it and got to see my brother and I get married and spoil his grandkids. Lost him in 2012 to 3rd round of cancer and miss his wisdom and companionship daily. Like all young men there was a brief time I was an idiot(at least I hope it was brief) and thought I knew more than him. Think 18-22, in college and "independent". Thankfully I matured and often reflect on two wise sayings from him he used with me all the time.
1. When he was sick with and after he beat cancer he would say, "No matter how bad you think it is, someone's always got it worse."
2. "You will never get all you want, but I will always make sure you have what you need."
Two bits of wisdom from greatest man I have ever known.
A man does what needs to be done without complaining.
• Kyle B. writes:
Avoid the fight. If you can't hit first and hit hard.
- Learn how to change a tire, tie a square knot, and make pasta sauce and you'll be ahead of the game. (Kyle note, you can sub chili for pasta sauce and should also know other knots)
- Always write an email (letter/text/tweet) as if the person reading it just dropped hot coffee in their lap. You don't know how their day is going, don't make it worse.
As far as lawns go, I'm transitioning to a micro-clover lawn (right now, a clover, plantain, dandelion, and tufts of grass lawn). It's a weekly mow right now and will drop to every other week later. This is my first TNML season, and yes, it's all about saving the weekend for the family.
• Eddie from Acworth writes:
In response to Millennial Mike looking for advice for his kid, I always imparted these to my 3 sons:
-Never sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff.
-80% of life is just showing up (especially true for college)
-Life is a shit sandwich. You take a bite every day
To be fair, the last one came from my Dad and his warped view of life. More of a statement than advice-but it always struck me as funny and it is somewhat true if you think about it! And probably for when he gets older.....
By the way my 3 boys are grown men and are doing quite well-despite the gross daily meal!
• Geoff P. in South Dakota writes:
First, thanks for sharing the emails about overseeding and aerating, my front lawn (and the Mrs.!!) is going to appreciate it!
I've got a couple of pearls from my dad and grandpa to share with the crew:
1) It's better to keep quiet and let people think that you're an idiot than to open your mouth and prove them right.
2) It's better to be wrong and alive than dead right. (Initially referred to looking before crossing the road/ learning to drive, but can apply to lots of decision making processes for the teenagers that I teach!)
3) People always overestimate the work/effort that they are contributing, and underestimate the work/effort of others. The truth is in the middle.
• Bill C. in Mississippi writes:
This request should test the limits of your inbox capacity. One that I told my children was "always be aware of your surroundings". I tried to instill this in them at an early age, before they had cellphones. It's even more important now since they (and most of society) usually have their heads buried in their phones and are not aware of what's happening 10 feet in front of them.
Love the house ball updates.
Enjoying the ride this season with the Stros. But, I need player updates with nicknames. Nicknames are as much a part of the sports experience as the postgame handshake line. I need to know how T-bone is handling his business. Good luck tonight. Looking forward to tomorrow morning's report.
• Mike in Cedar Park, TX writes:
An army colonel told my son: when you are talking to an adult(s) in any setting, meal, classroom, meeting room, etc. keep your phone in you pocket and look at people in the eyes. If you have to take the phone out (your parents call), explain who you are talking to, keep the phone above the table, when call/ text is completed, return it to your pocket.
Kinsey:
Keep the 'Dadvice' coming. Millennial Mike is an absolute bulldog over this kind of stuff. You cannot possibly give him too much 'Dadvice.'
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
The power of the TNML sticker on a mower
• Brian B. in Madison, Connecticut finds his inner-TNML power:
Won't be able to mow tomorrow, so I had to do a WNML edition this week. Almost quit after the first cut but then in the back of my head, the Power Rankings taunted me and was telling me to go ahead and quit lawn-boy. That got me going and finished the job (double cut). Needed to for consistency, and that is why I send the report photo from the same vantage point. I may not be doing post mow post conferences or hype videos, but I do have ideas what to do with the weekly photos.
Weather: Sunny, 65 degrees, and dry lawn.
Pattern: Back to pattern 'B' (same as week 2). Pattern 'B' is a 45 degree rotation and cross cut from Pattern 'A'.
Mowing sponsors: @HusqvarnaUSA and @newbalance.
Post mowing sponsors: @perfecthydration tonight, martinis this weekend (tomorrow).
Postscript for TNML or Screencaps:
I went back and forth on where to proudly display my TNML sticker. I thought about putting it on my sticker door, I thought about the mower. I settled on the mower today and it felt like it gave me more HP, so wise decision. A photo has been included.
Speaking of stickers, when we replaced out refrigerator in spring 2020, the old one went into the garage. I debated whether to put my sticker collection on the fridge, but similar to other readers/writers/mowers concerns about what to do with the door once it dies, I came up with the idea to put the collection on the back of my basement door. Some stickers are over 20 years old, so I wanted to keep them preserved. I was concerned not just about the fridge dying, but temperature fluctuation from winter to summer and what that would do to them.
Basement door it was. A photo has been included. Plan is when it is full, I will replace the door. Take the sticker door, fill the doorknob, add an exotic wood species edge trim and then poly/varnish the door for outdoor use. I have an old plastic folding table with a metal frame that I have saved specifically for retrofitting to the sticker door table.
Going back to the garage fridge, I am opening the pool next week (try to get it done the week before Memorial Day so its clear and ready for the daring), so the fridge needed to be full for that. A photos has been included. I need to get that soda out of there and replaced with RWB Yuengling cans. The mini fridge on top is for high test drinks and is invitation only. That will be put into use once I settle on a locking mechanism to keep the in-laws at bay.
It's just a matter of time before local TV stations start asking readers for mowing reports...mark this post
• Jon D. from between Dayton and Cincinnati writes:
Local news gets it. Ready to mow tonight after work. Any chance of the League getting a Thursday mention from Janice Dean on Fox & Friends during the weather report?
Kinsey:
Trust me, I've pushed for the marketing department to use the Fox resources to get a spot on Fox Weather. My work goal over the next seven days is to make that happen. I have cleared my schedule. Now it's time to act before some other network tries to hop onto our turf.
Yuengling shelf is empty at Circle K
• Beau in Toledo writes:
Growing pains are a thing... I get it. Ohio went through this when a bunch of us led a "campaign" to get Yuengling to Ohio several years back(B.C. ScreenCaps); several buddies, who traveled to PA for work, would bring back 20 to 30 cases each trip. and we would pay them in kind.
I found out through a few calls and some research, that production and shipping outputs, coupled with State Laws, were factors in prohibiting deliveries to certains states, a Note to those in many other States wondering why they can't find Yuengling in their locales. Rumor has it, Yuengling bought & fired up another brewery just to keep up with Ohio. It was, and still is, for many of us, a delectable decision.
Supply chain issues?!? Yeah, Thanks, Brandon...
But, and I will admit that this may sound somewhat petulant, this pic is kind of unacceptable. The entire shelf where Yuengling was stocked was empty today. The Black & Tan is darn good, but it's not an EDC.
I warned the Staff at Circle K over 3 weeks ago... These kinds of things could, like a surprise thunderstorm, ruin a perfectly good Outing for #TNML...
How are you reacting to this vegan?
Remember the neighbor in Cleveland who sued over his neighbor's outdoor pizza oven? I'm getting the same vibes here.
The Babylon Bee rarely misses
This is a work of art.
That's it. I gave you guys a bunch to chew on this morning while you await your starting time.
It's going to be 80-81 here today with crystal blue skies. I don't think it's possible to get better mowing conditions. Now go out there and dominate another league night. Leave it all on the turf. Give 110%. When the mowing gets tough, the mowers get going.
It's not about the wins and losses. It's about the journey.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com