Heidi Klum Slips On A Bikini, Sucks Down A 'Kluminator' Smoothie & Beats The Heat
Is Heidi Klum hotter now than she was at 42? You make the call.
I'll have what she's having.
While the D-list Instagram model pretenders were taking off Monday after drinking a bunch of pink lemonade vodkas over the weekend, the ultimate supermodel veteran, Heidi Klum, 52, got her ass out of bed and went to town promoting her new smoothie, the ‘Kluminator.’
The new drink is available at Erewhon, a southern California market that includes a smoothie bar. Described as "bright" and "refreshing," the Kluminator is a "hydrating summer smoothie crafted with Whole Harmony Heart Chakra Kiwi + Matcha Juice, MALK Organic Coconut Milk, Vita Coco Farmers Organic Coconut Water, Organic Matcha, and a blend of Organic Mango, Pineapple, Date, Chia, and Maple."
You know what some of those fat, bloated, Stanley-succin' travel ball moms could've used this summer? Yep, a few Kluminators instead of those sugary pink lemonade vodkas on a Saturday at the ballpark before late-night Bdubs takeout.
Ladies, do you want to look like this at 52 when you show up at pool parties? You better start succin' down what Heidi's having.
Before we go any further, this post is #notsponsored. I didn't even know this Erewhon place existed until Heidi popped up in my timeline exploding out of a bikini and succin' down that kiwi drink.
Moving along, have you been paying attention to the summer that Klum is having? Between modeling bikinis for what feels like five-days-a-week, to underwear shoots with her daughter, to promoting Loreal at Walmart, to topless beach expeditions, this Gen Xer has been running laps around the lazy Gen Z Instagram models.
Let's face it, Klum is working towards a Presidential Medal of Freedom from Trump, if she hasn't already hit the threshold.
10 years ago this summer, Trump declared that Klum was "no longer a 10."
Like the pro she is, Klum didn't freak out. She didn't turn into some purple-haired maniac who spent her day railing about Trump. She got her ass in gear and kept working, kept grinding. Took it one bikini day at a time.
At the time, Klum made a video where a man in a Donald Trump mask ripped the No. 10 off her shirt to reveal a 9.99 score.
"#IHadAGoodRun," Klum joked.
10 years later? You be the judge.