Halloween Has Been Ruined For Kids Via Ridiculous Parenting Tactics, Critics Claim
Hey parents, back off.
That's the bold message this week from TikTok Gen X thinker Kelly Manno and New York Times columnist Jessica Grose, who wrote such a ball-busting opinion piece for parents I had to go back to make sure I was actually on the Times' website.
The gist of the message from the women is this: Parents are ruining Halloween and the micromanaging of kids is choking them and turning them into dependents who cannot live independently of mommy and daddy. Both Manno and Grose say the behavior of parents around Halloween is a great example of Parents Gone Wild and it needs to stop.

TikTok star Kelly Manno says modern parents have gone too far with their micromanaging of kids on Halloween. / TikTok
"Some of y'all parents have ruined Halloween," Manno, a self-described Gen X spokeswoman, opened her monologue on TikTok over the weekend in a video sent out to her 2.6 million followers. "Halloween was the greatest night of your life for Generation X. The whole night was about adventure and fun and getting to know the neighbors and the community. All of our neighborhood was home because our parents stayed home. Every porch light was on. It was amazing."
Now?
It's all gone. Manno claims it is because moms and dads are out micromanaging their kids while standing on the sidewalk with their $40 insulated Stanley cups filled with liquor (on a Tuesday night this year, by the way).
"Don't step on the grass. Did you say, 'Thank you?'" Manno continued on her wildly popular Tiktok video where she mocks modern suburban parenting.
"Your kid should already know how to say thank you," the Gen X spokeswoman fired back. "We knew how to say thank you and stay off the grass because we had f--kin' manners. Nobody held our candy bags when it got too heavy."
What is the Halloween Switch Witch trend?
In Grose's Times piece, she argues that the micromanaging, especially during Halloween and other major holidays is actually leading to depression and anxiety among children.
"Every year, a holiday becomes just a little bit more labored, a little bit more controlled. It’s just one more party to monitor, just another fresh costume, just another gift bag, until all your free time and money are gone and your children have no time or space to let their imaginations run wild, which I thought was the point of Halloween in the first place," Grose writes.
Speaking of being more controlled by the year, that brings us to a huge issue: the Switch Witch.
The premise is that a parent (this is a total mom move) grabs the kid's Halloween bag in the middle of the night and makes the candy disappear. A toy is left in place of the candy.
It's enough to send Manno over the edge.
"For f--k's sake, it is Halloween night. Let your kid eat the damn candy. Let them eat until they barf," the Gen Xpert pleads. "No wonder your kids are assholes. If somebody took all my candy after Halloween, I'd be an asshole too.
"You are ruining the best holiday ever. You've screwed it all up.
Grose agrees.
"If your kids are left to manage their candy harvest by themselves, the world will continue to spin on its axis," she writes.

Can we just go back to worrying about razor blades in apples?
Life was so much easier back then when some weirdo would plot to get kids to swallow razor blades buried into apples. The odds are incredibly high that you'd actually eat a razor blade, or eat the apple, for that matter.
Parents, let this be the year that you loosen the leash. Let this be the year that you allow your kid to walk up to the neighbor's door without your assistance and without yelling, "Make sure you say 'thank you.'
Your neighbors already have their minds made up about you and your kid saying "thank you" after receiving a Snickers isn't going to change whether the neighbor thinks you're a dick. In case you didn't realize it, these are judgemental times. The neighbor already judged you based on the car you drive and where you vacation -- via Facebook & Instagram photo analysis like they work for the FBI.
Pour a drink into your Stanley thermos, bundle up, get a good buzz on, and for the love of god, do not take the candy out of the bucket and throw it into the trash -- until the third week of November when the kids have officially forgotten about it.
Do it for your kid's sanity.