Glamping Retreat Ordered To Close After Neighbors Complain About Loud Sex & Bad Singing

Uptight neighbors on a quiet cul-de-sac in a port town in England have forced a glamping retreat to close. Secret Garden Glamping in Lymington, Hampshire was designed to provide visitors with the perfect spot for romantic escapes and family adventures.

Those romantic escapes and family adventures sometimes involve partying late into the night, loud sex, and really bad singing.  Who wouldn't want to enjoy a relaxing evening with the sweet sounds of sex coming from your neighbor's backyard filling your home?

A lamping retreat ordered to close after complaints from neighbors. (Image Credit: Getty)

It turns out several neighbors located near Secret Garden Glamping - owned by "a born and bred New Forest girl" by the name of Liz Feay - don't enjoy such delightful gifts from nature.  The two tents, she calls Flora and Belle, have become a nuisance.

As a result, Feay's reportedly been ordered to close the retreat.  Planning officers have ruled that the backyard glamping site has caused a harmful level of disturbance to neighbors.

The neighbors expressed their concerns about the retreat when, after four years, Feay applied for retrospective planning permission to New Forest district council.

One neighbor, 51-year-old Mel Sims said, "I live directly behind this garden.  I bought this house last year, thinking it was in a quiet cul-de-sac."

"The noise from this garden/field in the summer is too much, often past midnight.  There is music, loud chat, sex in the thin tents we all awkwardly hear and swearing."

That's enough to ask for some physical evidence.  If there's no video of such events taking place, how can one be expected to take the complaint seriously?  Sure there are others with similar stories.  Like this guy, Daniel Wells.

This Glamping Retreat Is Going Down Without A Fight

Wells said, "Socializing continues through the working week, disturbing sleep for myself, my wife and our son, whose bedroom is at the back of the house."

"Most upsetting perhaps is that on several occasions we have had to close the window to block out the sound of a couple engaging in acts of a sexual nature, which the fabric walls of a tent clearly did not and do not contain."

Disturbing indeed.  But it doesn't hold a candle to "one notable sunny afternoon."  Wells and company were subjected to some terrible karaoke.

"There was a karaoke machine there for a time and on one notable sunny afternoon, whilst trying to enjoy our garden with friends, we had to instead listen to a couple blaring out Islands in the Stream over and over, deluded in thinking they were Dolly [Parton] and Kenny [Rogers]."

Now that's something nobody should have to deal with.  Next time, Daniel, lead with this.  Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers karaoke is an obvious form of torture.  Having to listen to some sex now and again is nothing compared to this.

I'm on the neighbors' side here after hearing about that.  If Feay's willing to get rid of the karaoke machine I could very easily be swayed back to her side.  The council, on the other hand, is a different story.

They refused her planning application with the case officer handling the complaint saying, "The area where the tents have been located is in a part of the garden close to nearby residential properties.  The tents are constructed only of a thin canvas material and therefore lack soundproofing."

From the looks of it, this battle isn't over just yet.  The glamping retreat is still taking bookings for those who are going to be in the area this summer looking for some privacy and tranquility.

Good luck if you are heading out there.  There's certainly a chance your romantic escape could experience some complications.