New Avatar Popcorn Bucket Proves That Novelty Popcorn Buckets Are Officially Out Of Control
Your popcorn bucket shouldn't spill into other people's seats
It's no secret that movie theaters have been struggling for quite some time, especially as the windows between theatrical releases and movies showing up on streaming continue to shrink.
One way theaters have found to supplement their revenue is the novelty popcorn bucket, a plastic contraption themed around a movie that people buy as a souvenir or to collect.
By my recollection, this started with Dune II, and that was only because the sandworm bucket kind of looked like a bunghole and everyone thought that was hilarious.
Still, the trend took off, and now the buckets have officially hit the point where they're completely out of control.
Even more so than when they looked like bungholes.
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There's a new Avatar movie hitting theaters — yes, another one. And, as has been the case in recent years for every movie from F1 to Five Nights at Freddy's 2 and beyond, Avatar: Fire and Ash has its own popcorn bucket.
Only this thing is obscenely huge.
I believe that dragon-looking thing with an Orville Redenbacher's factory worth of popcorn on its back is called a banshee. I've never seen the original Avatar, though, so I could be mistaken.
I just heard that the mineral the bad white people are trying to mine is called "unobtanium," and I was like, "Meh, they can have everyone else's money, I'll keep mine."
Jim Cameron has enough submarines…
But look at that popcorn bucket. It's gigantic. You should buy an extra seat if you get that.
Imagine sitting there, and some guy rolls in with that, and the tail spills into your seat.
"Hey, do you mind if I take the armrest? I need room for my popcorn banshee's tail… Irayo. That's thank you in Na'vi…"
You'd be hot under the collar, I can assure you that.
So, seeing as this is something of an arms race. Let's dial back the size of these buckets. Because today we have a giant banshee, tomorrow we have life-size Spidermans (Spidermen?) filled to the brim with popcorn and taking up space in neighboring seats.
Hey, I need that armrest cup holder for my $10 Coke Zero with cherry.