Genny Shawcross Challenges Bright Emily To A Content-Off, $15k For A Foul Ball & The 9/9/9 Challenge
No, I'm not going to start this morning with more on my Masters trip prep. Mrs. Screencaps needs suggestions on what to call her grow operation
As some of you might've read when I've dropped nuggets, one of the projects I worked on over the last couple of months instead of going indoor golfing with my buddies and suckin' down beers was to get our laundry room organized and incorporating new shelving units.
Around that same time, Mrs. Screencaps was starting to get into growing plants, but she was working with a minuscule setup in her office, which was a dining room before COVID.
Anyway, one thing led to another and I talked her into starting a grow operation on one of the shelves. We have grow lights running like 16 hours a day, or however long the Internet experts say to have the grow lights on. We have fans running. It's starting to turn into one of those grow ops you see along the West Coast. The room glows. I know the neighbors see the glow and wonder what's growing behind these walls.
The room is temperature controlled. The humidity level is controlled.
It's a legitimate grow op…BUT…it doesn't have a cool grow op name like Canna Hub, CannTrust, ThePharm, Organigram, Hexo Corp., etc.
The more I look into grow op names, the more I realize it has to be either two words, or one word constructed from two words.
If it was my grow op I'd probably use something like:
- ScreenCorp.
- Caps Corp.
- TheCaps
- Organicaps
But this is her operation.
One of you has to be into the grow op business and understand the marketing game associated with the industry. Help me help Mrs. Screencaps with her branding.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
Alex takes a shot at Canoe Kirk over his choice to rent a Tesla for the Masters trip
• Alex R. writes:
I seem to remember some mention that you and Canoe Kirk are renting a Tesla for the Augusta trip. Why would you open your trip to such a risk? I have been to Augusta before and other than the beauty of the CC it does not strike me as a city with a lot of EV infrastructure.
Why would you even risk the possibility of a car with no juice on Tuesday morning? This seems like an obvious gaping hole in your otherwise meticulous plan and it seems to go against all we gas-powered lawn gear folks stand for.
I have to say I would go with a good old gas guzzler and not risk the possibilities of missing Daly's flee market because you are waiting in line to charge your go-kart.
Kinsey:
It's a legitimate question, but I would like to remind Alex that I'm in the content business and Canoe Kirk is into plot twists when he travels. I once did a lap around Michigan International Speedway in Mrs. Screencaps' Chrysler Town & Country for the novelty of it.
Kirk's the guy who goes to Switzerland and has to go paragliding so it's on his social resume. He goes to India on work trips and finds the urge to walk through alleys of squalor for the life experience. He could stay posted up at the Playboy Club at the Marriott where he stays, but no, Canoe Kirk gets right into the belly of India.
He's never driven a Tesla, so why not now? He's a big planner. He organized a 28-person canoe trip for a decade and handled all the food and logistics for the fun of it and because he's good at the planning. He looks at this Tesla thing as another challenge. Where will he charge it? How does it operate? How does it drive? How does the radio work?
His daily driver is a Chevy Malibu that he beats to hell out of driving up U.S.-23 to Ann Arbor for work every day. He just wants to mix it up a little bit. He has a gas-guzzling 1960-something Mustang in his garage that he's been rebuilding for like seven years. The guy is into projects.
Plus, it was cheap.
Now, the line where you mention "it seems to go against all we gas-powered lawn gear folks stand for," I have to push back on that statement.
Please remember that TNML isn't anti-battery mowers. I'm anti-government telling TNML members they can't use a gas-powered mower. I have battery blowers. I'd consider battery edgers. I'd consider a battery mower, but my gas mower is perfectly fine, and I have zero reason to buy a battery mower at this time.
I'm anti-government blue-haired nerds telling people they're killing the planet by using their gas-powered mowers. I'm not anti-EVs. I'm anti-government elites telling people gas-powered cars and chainsaws are going to be banned.
Let's see if the Tesla provides any content twists. Let it play out.
We have two tee times at Applewood Golf Course on Monday for the Screencaps at The Masters Golf Invitational!
I told Screencaps readers to step up and they delivered on Wednesday. I said I wanted to make another tee time at Applewood just so I could talk to Diana because she is the nicest woman to answer a golf course phone in America.
It wasn't a mirage. Diana was so happy to hear from me. She had the 12:15 slot open and now we are set for two tee times on Monday.
Now, who else in the area wants to play? There are more spots available. Get your ass to suburban Augusta, GA and let's play some golf. Take a day off.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
• Charles K. writes:
Tried to change my flight to get there for Monday tee time. The Mrs is travelling now so I’m Mr mom with 5 kids. Would have been a ball. Hit em long and straight!
Kinsey:
Totally get it, Charles. I'm just honored you tried to change your flight to Augusta to play a $50 course with us. That's dedication to this column. We'll connect down the road. There's always the Two-Club Invivational on August 3. Fly into Detroit. Play, fly out the next morning.
• Mark B. in Northern California writes:
Reading about your impending adventure to The Masters has been similar to the kid waiting for Christmas morning. The day will soon come and it will be spectacular!
Then it will be over and you will have all the memories. You will also become part of a rather exclusive club many people would like to say they experienced.
Sometime 1, 3, 5, or 10 years from now, you will slip on one of the logo hats you buy or it may be a visor (like the travel ball hardos) or it may be a shirt, and you will go to someplace and inevitably someone will come up to you out of the blue and ask, "Did you go to the Masters?" You will first have a brief flashback to your adventure and then respond, with nothing less than a humble smile, "Yes!"
Be prepared because it will happen more than you can imagine.
Have enjoyed reading about this upcoming experience and hope you have a great time.
• Hans in Arizona writes:
This is the hat I went with from Augusta. There were tons to choose from but I wanted one with the year on it in case something historic happened like in 1986 with Jack winning. Well Tiger won so I chose well.
• Ted K. writes:
I agree, 16 is a great spot to view- but sit in the stands. I've attached a map- see the blue dots, but here are my suggestions, so you can see a lot of action:
Behind the 7th green rope, next to the player access rope toward the 8th tee: This is a spot that affords views of the action on the 7th green, 2nd green, and 8th tee- all in one spot. A hidden gem recommended by a marshal years ago. My favorite!
Hard to describe: grab a spot along the rope at the tip bordering the 12th tee and 13th fairway. From there you can not only see 12th green shots, you can also see tee shots and approaches to 13th green. You'll be able to see/ experience the slope on 13, it's much more pronounced than on TV.
Middle of 15th fairway: Watching them hit into 15 is something to see (again due to downhill lies and wind swirling around the green, while also providing views of the action on 17 green.
Hill between 16 green looking towards 6th green: Here you can see action on 2 great par 3's.
Hope this helps!
Ted added:
John is at Hooters all day, and into the evening. He'll definitely crack a beer with you, and will sign everything. He used to sell his line of attire from loud...not my thing.
The suggestion of walking the course backwards is highly recommended!
I'll look for you and your TNML decal!
Kinsey:
Based on the number of golf fanatics follow this column, I think it's highly likely Canoe Kirk and I are going to run into Ted. The sticker will be on the chair, Ted.
The eclipse
Outside of Beau in Toledo, are any of you the least bit excited about the eclipse? Around here, the news won't shut up about this eclipse and I'm left wondering if this is just some local TV news driven story or if people actually care.
Are you stocking up at the grocery store? Don't laugh. The local news has been sending out alerts on making sure you have supplies because there could be a run on certain items.
What?
For a two-minute eclipse?
Maybe I'm just not up on how big these things are. I'd be more impressed by a Cincinnati Reds World Series run which happens about as often as these eclipses.
Where's Beau in Toledo? Someone help me out.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
The state of youth gymnastics: price gouging
• Pete writes:
I am feeling Brian in AZ about gymnastics costs. This is the region 7 men's regional meet in Prince George's, Maryland. First, I'm here at 7am Thursday for gymnastics and had to travel around DC beltway traffic for it from Fredericksburg, Virginia. Now I'm paying maybe $15, probably $25 for 2 days because we have a second son going on Sunday at 7am. Possibly $50 per person to watch potentially 15 minutes of gymnastics I give a crap about.
I have been doing this for 20 years now, with 2 daughters and 2 sons. The only true "bargain" is when the oldest daughter was a starter at West Chester University for 5 years. Families got in their meets for free. Gymnastics is a racket because there is no local rec league, you have to travel with the club you train with. These prices, these travel costs (which the girls have done cross country club meets in AZ, NV, CA and others) means only one parent has been with them at every event. No kid has had both of us watch them at any meet, ever. With club tuition and meet costs, we're approaching $350,000 spent on this sport.
Gymnastics is why I've resisted putting the boys in travel baseball, which I coach them at the little league level, and they are both pretty good at.
Pete wrote a follow-up email:
Actually after some quick math, it's truly over $400,000.
Kinsey:
I'm proud of Pete admitting the true costs here. Too many times I hear from travel sport parents who just won't let it out. Pete laid his emotions out and I can respect that. He wants what's best for his kids, but deep down he understands just how crazy this is financially.
Yes, there are memories. Yes, they've probably met friends for life. Yes, they probably have INSANE hotel travel points. But all of it is stressful. I can feel the emotions from Pete's email.
I hope Pete gets to do something he truly loves this summer. He needs a chance to recharge his batteries. I can tell.
Back it in!
I should've known that Kim Kardashian doesn't back her Tesla truck into parking spots. This is absolutely disgusting behavior. However, I'm left wondering if the engineers put the battery charging outlet in the front which will prevent backing into spots in the future.
If that's the case, we have a major problem, folks.
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That's it this morning. Let's get after it. The hours are winding down before I turn off the laptop for a few days. This isn't the time to take it easy. This is the time to go even harder. It's also Thursday, but I will not be mowing here. It has rained for four straight days. It's a mess out there.
Good luck to those of you who are getting another Spring Training mow in. The TNML Opening Day is April 18. Set your calendars.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com