A Friendly Reminder About Airport/Airplane Etiquette During Travel Season
The barbaric behavior at our international airports must stop!
I received an angry text from my sister yesterday, which shouldn't come as too much of a surprise, seeing as how she's an angry person, but it was the subject of the conversation that started to get my gears turning.
She had just flown into Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International via O'Hare International in Chicago, and, suffice it to say, she was greeted by the same plague of inconsiderate jerks that seem to populate airports the world over.
As the calendar flips towards November, we start to enter the busy season for airline travel. So, I thought that, coupled with my sister's barrage of angry texts, gave me a good enough excuse to educate the masses on proper air travel etiquette.
Not everyone is going to follow these rules, but if even 10% of you adhere to these principles, then airports, and by extension, the world, will be a better place.
Arrive Early To Avoid Being "That Guy"
I'm sure many of you have heard of the "airport theory," where you show up to the airport 15 minutes before your flight boards and prove you can still make it to the gate on time.
While the thought of that alone makes my skin crawl, do us all a favor and don't try it.
Get to the airport at least an hour before you board, because you don't want to be that guy in the security line begging to get to the front because TikTok told you it was okay.
It seems like every time I fly (which thankfully is rare these days), there's at least one dumbass who is bargaining in the TSA line because his flight is about to take off, and he needs to cut through.
It isn't our fault you aren't a responsible adult, so arrive early.
Invest In Some Headphones
This goes for any form of public transportation, but no one wants to hear your crappy music or your meaningless phone conversation, so invest in some headphones and stop using speakerphone.
I'm sure the new NBA YoungBoy album is a real banger, but you're on a commercial flight to Pittsburgh and you look like a douche.
I usually let it slide if it's a young couple with a baby, and they're watching some kids show, but if you're over the age of 13 and you're listening to your Spotify playlist loud enough for the pilots to make out the lyrics, it might be time to make a trip to Best Buy.
Enough With The "Service Animals"
I love dogs more than just about anything on this planet, but the whole fake "service dog" epidemic spreading across airports around the country needs to stop.
No, your Bichon Frisé is not an emotional support animal, no matter how many vests and patches you put him in.
Some people actually need service animals, so you're just making their lives more difficult because you didn't want to pay the extra money to have your dogs boarded for the weekend while you and the "girlies" went to Puerto Vallarta.
If you have flying anxiety, pop a couple Ambien and take a nap on the plane, and leave Mr. Chucklesworth at home while you're at it.
Sit Down Until It's Your Turn To Leave
When the plane stops at the gate after landing, that isn't an invitation for people to start jockeying for position to deboard.
Hey, buddy. I know you're dying to get off the plane so you can go to the Maple Syrup Museum, but you're in row W and the plane hasn't even come to a complete stop, so pump your brakes.
Some folks will try and use the excuse that they have a connecting flight, but there's a good chance 90% of those people are lying.
You can wait four minutes while the people who paid for the expensive seats get off the plane, I promise it won't kill you.