Forget Hot Dogs And Burgers, Apparently The Founding Fathers Celebrated Independence With Booze, Oysters

I'm a big fan of the summer holidays, and the Fourth of July is the granddaddy of them all.

There's really nothing like it: you throw on a patriotic shirt, crack open a beverage of your choice, and then hop on grill duty.

Of course, the traditional way to go these days is throwing some burgers and dogs on the grill, maybe wow the crowd a little bit with some brats if you're so inclined, but I think the basic rule of thumb is that if fire and/or smoke is involved you're good to go.

I mean, this year I'm hosting more people than usual this year, so I'm smoking a pork shoulder this year for some pulled pork sandwiches.

However, I never really thought about how the Founding Fathers would've celebrated after they all put their John Hancocks at the bottom of the Declaration of Independence.

I assumed that they didn't go to Thomas Jefferson's place to crack open beers and throw some burgers on the Weber Kettle, but then how did they do it?

Well, according to Food Republic, the Founding Fathers celebrated the birth of a new nation with booze and oysters, plus even some crab, turtle soup, and more.

Y'know, as one does.

The Founding Fathers celebrated the birth of the United States, not with hot dogs and hamburgers, but with oysters and booze. (Getty Images)

Now, I get the appeal of hitting a bar for some drinks and slamming some oysters.

But remember, this is 1776. That makes me wonder, how did they all survive that?

I mean, imagine going out and housing booze and seafood all night. You'd be a total mess.

Fortunately, you live in the age of indoor plumbing and Pedialyte. The Founding Fathers? They weren't so lucky. 

They were partying like this while wearing getups made out of fabrics that didn't breathe and while wearing powdered wigs. 

And imagine if someone got one bad oyster! It'd be over, Johnny (Adams). I think much less than a case of nasty food poisoning was killing people back in their 1770s. I think sneezes killed entire families back then.

Then there's the whole privy situation, which… I don't want to even get into that, but that probably would've been enough for King George to say, "Actually, I think we've got other colonies. You guys go nuts with your independence."

I've got to assume that this is why, at some point, some enterprising patriot was like, "I don't want to risk getting food poisoning and a raging hangover in July, so I think we're going to grill some hot dogs this year."

And thus, a new tradition was born… probably.